I’m hoping this thread can answer the questions myself and other girls have towards life at Wellesley!
- I have a question about boys, I am really excited to attend an all women's college, however I am on the straight side of the sexuality spectrum(as someone said earlier.) How easy is it to interact with the boys from MIT/Harvard/Olin? Do they like coming to Wellesley parties? Do they like Wellesley girls? Are college boys only looking for sex?
- For someone who wasn't a party animal in high school, is it hard to adjust to the party scene at Wellesley? I'd really like to go to these parties and branch out but I'm afraid that since I am unfamiliar with the party scene I'll just look lame. Any advice?
It’s a very quiet campus and you will likely have to go to the other schools for a party scene.
I feel very connected to this question because I’ve wondered the exact same things. I hope you get to read this even though it’s such a late response!
- I have made many male friends, mostly at MIT. And you do this by joining clubs that have mixers with similar clubs from other colleges, going to frat parties, or attending events at other colleges (cultural banquets, concerts, music events, parties, etc etc). Facebook is a great place to get a lot of this information. Yup, guys love coming to Wellesley parties, and while most are here for sex, there are some who have better intentions (this is mostly the case if they were invited by friends at Wellesley). Of course, there will be guys who look down upon Wellesley girls because they minimize the intelligence and importance of women's colleges, and sadly, there is the rare Wellesley student who behaves in ways that reflect poorly upon all girls from the College (of course this is the case in all universities, but it is particularly sensitive at women's colleges). However, real, genuine, SMART guys will respect you and want to hang out with you. This is partly affected by the atmosphere in which you meet these guys. So please be wise!
- lol, I feel this so much because I was kind of like this when I first arrived at Wellesley as well. Thankfully, I befriended a group of girls who were both very welcoming of me and took care of me in a way (because I was the most sheltered in our group) as well as more experienced than me, so I got to experience a lot of things normally outside my comfort zone. Through this, I have a grown a lot. Don't be scared! Do what you want. People at Wellesley will accept you, and if you meet the right people, they will even help you.
@absentions Which Wellesley clubs have reciprocal mixers at other schools? And when you say guys love coming to Wellesley parties, what type of parties are they coming to? How often does the school host those parties? Are they big, campus-wide events?
Thanks!
@justdoesntmatter Many/most cultural orgs I know of do. I’m sure there are non-cultural orgs that do as well, but I’m not sure which ones. Also I’m sure societies host many mixers.
I forgot to mention - there are many volunteer programs that are in collaboration with other universities where you can get to know guys.
They love coming to all the parties. lol. Any party hosted by the College or orgs will be infested by many a desperate guy. There is Remix, which is hosted by the College (it’s a tradition) at the beginning of every year. Then there are many cultural orgs and societies that host parties as well. I wouldn’t say campus-wide, but they’re usually pretty well-publicized, and everyone knows about them.
Thanks @abstentions! I was under the impression that the campus is very quiet on weekends, more like how @Redpoodles described it. My sister is a recent alum, and she said that some of the Asian cultural orgs have relationships with local co-ed schools & hold mixers. I’m wondering if these are the parties you’re describing? Would you say they are attended by a cross section of Wellesley students, or is it mostly just members of the hosting orgs? Aside from the Re-mix, do you know of other on-campus parties for students who aren’t in the cultural orgs? I was under the impression that the Re-mix is one of the only events that guys flock to – love how you described it: “infested by many a desperate guy.”
Oops, typo. I meant to ask @absentions the questions above. Thanks.
@justdoesntmatter Yup, many Asian cultural orgs will host parties. CSA, ASU, and KSA host ones that consistently have pretty big turnouts. Students from all over campus go, and while the attendees are mostly Asian, there will be some guys from off-campus and Wellesley students that aren’t Asian. I know Ethos also hosted a party last year with a pretty big turnout. TZE (art society) hosted 1 or 2 parties (one of which was a toga party) that first of all wasn’t dry, and second of all many people really enjoyed. There was a HUGE turnout. Personally I found it to be kind of gross; not really into that kind of party. The floor was sticky and it bugged the hell out of me.
There is also the Naked Party held every spring that apparently has a pretty huge turnout, if you’re into that type of thing.
On the weekends, it is typically pretty quiet. Many students like to go off-campus, and many are just sleeping until the afternoon. However, on nights where there are huge events with many off-campus guests, it can get pretty lively (if that’s an appropriate word to describe it).
My daughter is not a partier and hates Remix (her word for it is unprintable, but let’s just say it’s not a place to go for long term relationships). The naked party is primarily for lesbians, but D has straight friends who have gone and really enjoyed it. There is also mellower partying that takes place in the res halls. Wine, spiked cider, that type of thing, with your female friends.
She, like most of her friends, set up online dating accounts. She went on many, many dates last year (her soph year) with guys from MIT, Tufts, Harvard, and Olin. (As her mother, I absolutely hated to hear this, but I guess this is how things are done now.) She is now in a serious relationship with a guy from Tufts. I think they met on Tinder (not as trashy as rumor has it!) He’s a very nice guy and they seem well-suited.
My D met a guy at Remix at the beginning of her freshman year. Almost six years later, they are still together. She did say “no” to a few requests to dance before her bf asked her. He was a freshman at MIT. They both graduated two years ago, and now live together in another city.
@massmomm lol yeah I’ve had some experiences with Tinder as well. Everyone uses it. Remix had some cool people but there were also a lot of creepers, so it’s wise to err on the side of caution.
@absentions Thank you so much for your reply! This helps so much! If you do not mind could you expand on what is Remix or Naked Party?
I attended Remix my first year and skipped it the second. IMO it is the only big on-campus event that guys come to. Upon arriving, a “creeper” immediately latched on to me. I’m a confident young woman with plenty of experience with male friends and boy friends, but I couldn’t shake this guy. Persistant bugger wouldn’t leave me alone,to the point that I wanted to leave, but figured this guy would follow me home if did. I think you have more than your fair share of “creepers” at this event. My roommate also had a stalker. Think about it, these guys are attending co-ed schools. They have most likely traveled to Wellesley hoping that the high female-to-male ratio at the dance would improve their odds. I have not attended the Naked Party. I’m very liberal, very openminded, very confident in my own skin, but that party just isn’t my cup of tea. This blog http://survivingwellesley.blogspot.com/2010/09/three-parties-two-weekends-one-favorite.html) is a few years old, but rather succintly describes what a typical first year might initially experience at Wellesley. The Boston frat parties can be fun. The bus ride there and and back…not so much. You can have a social life at Wellesley, but you definitely need to put more effort into it than at typical co-ed schools.
If this is all applicable, what role do societies play in this? My D is social and thinks she would enjoy being in TZE or Phi Sig. My two main questions I guess are how hard are they to get into and how expensive are the dues?
^^^They are competitive (this is Wellesley), but you absolutely do not have to be in one to have a social life. My daughter didn’t even consider “tea-ing” but has friends who did. They all manage to have a social life. The societies are not a dominant force on campus, as sororities on some campuses are. I don’t know about the fees, but D says the kids on FA rarely join, so that should tell you something either about the fees or the culture. Her friends in Agora and TZE are full pay.
I did not “tea,” but do not recall hearing that the fees are particularly high. However, in my very limited experience, it seemed like the girls who got in lead more exotic/fashionable, well-travelled lives. I never regretted not “tea-ing,” especially after seeing how disappointed some girls were after all the time and effort they put into the process. A very small percentage of students are members of the societies, and I agree with the statement above that they are not a huge presence on campus.