Past circumstances put me at risk? And bad essay topic?

Applying to College
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<p>Common wisdom is, don't talk about rape, suicide, depression and religion in your essays. It's either too controversial or too morbid.</p>

<p>However, to explain why I'm "two years behind schedule" (was suppose to graduate and go to uni in 2004), my counselor is going to write my depression and suicide attempt in 2003. I think this is okay, right?</p>

<p>I'm just worried because I was 16/17 in 2003 and was trying to live alone in a college in Malaysia for A Levels. I can say living in Malaysia was a culture shock, and I'd be more comfortable in an American/Western environment. Since I fell into depression and tried to kill myself, would the schools I'm applying to now see me as a risk for a possible relapse? </p>

<p>(I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past year and a half, with medication. I'm not suicidal anymore and my emotions are under a tighter control.)</p>

<p>Would my own essay for the Common App or "explain ethic/moral dilemmas you've encountered" question about my depression and learning from it help or would it be better left alone with my counselor's explanation?</p>

<p>Another essay topic I was contemplating was trying to reconcile my religion (anti-homosexuality) and my sexuality. I'm "out of the closet" with some of my friends, but never will to my family. Would this be a bad essay, as it might show "disrespect" for my religion, or be seen as a point of trying to grow as ow person?</p>

<p>Thanks, anybody and everybody!</p>

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<p>aww...<em>pats forehead</em></p>

<p>SOMEONE GIVE THIS GIRL AN ANSWER PLEASE!</p>

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<p>Heheh. Thanks, banedon. <em>a slightly woebegone expression on my face</em></p>

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<p>IzzyJ: If I were you I would ask the counselor not to write about your suicide attempt.Your essay sounds interesting to me !
All the best !</p>

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<p>I think you'd better not write about the suicide because it's too risky. But an essay on your religion and growing up in the western culture and having lived in many countries would grab their attention. You're an international kid;) There are not many of that sort</p>

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<p>elisa, I suppose I should ask her then to just talk about the depression? Because I do have to explain the failures and absences for that one year. <em>sigh</em></p>

<p>Thanks, : ))). From reading/editing other people's essays I can say it seems like writing only 500 words is a tough! :D</p>

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<p>IzzyJ: the adcoms might think you could fall into depression again while in college. IMO you should try not to mention depression.</p>

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<p>I wish I could not mention it, but I have to cause I have to explain the year. <em>sigh</em> Damn the past and my weakness.</p>

<p><em>shrug</em> Well, hopefully my teacher recs and my own essays would show my growing strength.</p>

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<p>I think you could write you had unspecified health issues that are being treated and under good control and medical supervision & then write your essay on other topics. You should speak with your GC about this approach or what the GC would recommend under the circumstances.</p>

<p>I agree that adcoms could well be nervous about accepting someone who attempted suicide, which is why it might be better to leave it unspecified medical condition that is currently stable and under good control, but your GC should be able to help you on this.</p>

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<p>Izzy</p>

<p>HImom gives sound advice.</p>

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<p>I wouldn't write about the sexuality thing; you never know who might read it. It could be an old fogey who supported Oscar Wilde's imprisonment way back when, or even someone who just thinks that you're whining. You know? Not that it isn't an important topic that is important to your life... just that it might not be the best thing to write about when applying to a university.</p>

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<p>Hmmm...and if this essay is only sent to those colleges with an active LGBT voice and advocates diversity? .... <em>sigh</em> I do see your point, though. Thanks.</p>

<p>HImom, thank you for the advice. I do like the term "unspecified health issues". I did have my counselor mention my depression in her recommendation to the UK last year and despite it, I did get accepted to half of them. But that's probably a moot point.</p>

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<p>wow i didnt know you aould put "unspecified health issues". i always thought you have to mention it.</p>

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<p>You are never OBLIGATED to be extremely specific, but the colleges you are applying to will want to know that whatever the cause is under good control. Your GC would be the best person to guide you in this because it is a sensitive area. </p>

<p>Colleges of course want to know what happened & how that may affect your future with them. Your current high school has an obligation to you & the other students at your current school to be honest with the schools you're applying to (or it affects how their other students are viewed in the future).</p>

<p>Colleges you apply to can & sometimes do call GCs & schools for more info if they have questions and/or concerns. Candor is important, but you do not have to turn over all your medical records & medical history to them in order to be considered for application. You & your GC can work out what is appropriate for disclosure & what you can talk more with the colleges about after you're accepted & want to know about their support services.</p>

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<p>i think your GC should write about your depression, but emphasise that it is behind you:) Particularly since you did move back to a Western environment and will be in a western environment if you go to America.</p>

<p>And I would definitely write about your struggle to reconcile your religion with your sexuality. DEFINiTELY. It is an interesting dilemma, and it has great potential for exploring yourself and your feelings...</p>

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<p>Reconciliation isn't going that well, but yeah...it's kinda getting there. It's a little weird that I check out each school to see if it has a LGBT presence and if possible, a MSA. :)</p>

<p>HIMom, thanks for the clarifcation of your opinion. I'll talk to my GC after October break ends and see if she ran into this before. I have a friend who was depressed, bulimic, and anorexic during high school but never told the schools anything. She didn't miss entire years, though. But she's also advising me to be discreet.</p>

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<p>We know a girl who was anorexic who went to Stanford & now is in law school at Creighton. I don't believe she told the schools anything either. When you miss a LOT of school, you & your GC need to confer about what is appropriate to share to be fair to your HS, yourself & the colleges. It is a balance & best when you & your GC are in agreement.</p>

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<p>I'd like to thank everybody who replied and gave me advice, either via this thread or through the inbox.</p>

<p>I did talk to my counselor today. I asked to see the recommendation she wrote for me when I applied to the UK last year. She did mention about my feeling lost in a culture that should've been my home culture, along with my loss of family (though it was by my choice) and that it "led to depression and ultimately, self-harm." She also mentioned that I was in the hospital for a while, then moved with my parents to Romania and seem to be adjusting very well and blah blah blah. </p>

<p>I'm unsure whether or not to tactfully ask her to rephrase it. Because I did have an entire year of failed classes, after a 6 months wait at home (being tutored in math and whatnot, too) when waiting for January 2003 to begin so I could begin the A Levels. I do believe colleges ask if the applicant wishes to have any slips in academics explained, either in a supplementary essay or such. (But self-harm??? Does she need to be that explicit??)</p>

<p>I think to have my GC mention it is sufficient... Mind you, she also commented on my personality and how I seem to have grown and adjusted to my situation, and a perfectionist and seem ready to "fly from the coop and find my own path". ;)</p>

<p>I also talked to my English teacher, who knows everything. He thinks my GC should mention it in her rec since it's 1.5 years explained. He's also the only teacher who knows about my sexuality. I told you "what if one was not totally straight but one lived in a really conservative environment...I mean...would that be a bad essay or a good essay or a weird essay, especially if one's past was peppered with things like....depression". He caught on. :D I love this man, he's one of the coolest and most understanding teacher at school. </p>

<p>Anyway, he said if it was a point of conflict in my life, coupled with my depression, it wouldn't be good to bombard the admin officers with more weighty issues of my life. (Did not phrase that well, but I hope the gist is understood.)</p>

<p>I'm confused now. :confused: Should I follow his advice? I haven't been able to verbalize or mentalize this essay about Islam/belief vs. bisexuality but it is true religion's a point of conflict between my parents and I.</p>

<p><em>sigh</em> Now I have to somehow write all my essays by Nov. 28th...</p>

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<p>Izzy</p>

<p>Check out "How Personal Can an Essay Get?" thread under College Admissions.</p>

<p>Northstarmom gives sound advice.</p>

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<p>When you GC mentions your health & explains it well, you don't have to devote an essay to it & can just mention it in passing on your ap (acknowledging it rather than ignoring it).
Whether you will be able to convince your GC to in any way change the rec s/he wrote is something you & GC will have to discuss. As stated previously, the GC has several conflicting duties--college, HS & you.
Agree about checking other threads for essay topic guidance. If you choose to write about a very personal topic, try reading a few well written ones to get a sense of what sets them apart. Good luck!</p>