“Thank you. She’s happy with her choices, and so are we.”
I talked to her about applying to some top 25 schools over the summer (Ivys were too far north, visited Vanderbilt and didn’t really feel a connection, UCs were too far and don’t do out of state aid unless you are in top 1 percent, Duke is the “it” school at her high school so she said no and she basically called Stanford a lottery school after seeing the acceptance rate). She loved Tulane and liked Emory but it is way to close to home.
@ChangeTheGame She has a great list. Howard is a great school. GTech is a great albeit high pressure school for tech. Get a “No Jedi Mind Trick’s Allowed” bumper sticker and enjoy your girl. She can always choose fancy for grad school if she wishes.
My wife went to an HBCU and did research at Mayo Clinic, NYU, Stanford, and University of Chicago in undergrad when she thought she wanted to do MD/PhD (but then got married and pregnant quickly and our kids became the dream). I have been telling her a 4.0 and undergrad research will get her to a name grad school if she wants it from every school on her list. I am working on resisting the Jedi Mind Trick as it is always used from the Dark side of the Force.
Looks like a great list to me. Tell people to mind their business (politely of course). Fit is the most important.
Congrats to your D! I’m sure she’ll do well wherever she ends up.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with well-wishers asking/suggesting the top schools, especially to someone who has done well academically in high school. A few thoughts…(1) 18 year olds can benefit tremendously from right guidance; (2) there are reasons why certain schools are top schools/educational-institutions; (3) college gives an opportunity to step out of one’s comfort zone and explore one’s potential; (4) You can always eliminate certain schools after getting the results back and having time to explore/experience (e.g. admit days).
@ChangeTheGame She doesn’t need a 4.0 from the schools on her list for a top grad. She’s going to be great. I wouldn’t even worry.
Resist the dark side.
The list looks mostly like an engineering major’s list. Correct?
Main question for the OP is: are the schools on the list affordable, affordable if sufficient merit scholarships are awarded, or not likely to be affordable?
The OP’s daughter applied to and has been admitted to Alabama A&M, which is in essentially the same “great tech area” (Huntsville / NASA / Redstone). UAH’s main advantage is that its large merit scholarships are by stats and announced on its web site; AAMU scholarships would be a wait and see. The two universities 7 miles away from each other serve as a reminder of the history of segregation.
Your post reminded me of this recent article in the NYT. The young lady was being second guessed regarding her choice of major rather than university, but the parallels are there.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/21/opinion/harvard-african-immigrant-holiday.html
Your daughter sounds awesome and I’m sure she will do fine wherever she goes!
I will put it bluntly, because I don’t know how to put it “nicely”:
Yesterday evening I had a conversation with my D about something not related to school. At the end, I told her, and I repeat it here, “I want to make sure that if you feel hurt because people, including myself, say or do something, you come and talk to me about it. I don’t care whether other people are hurt because you don’t live up to their expectations. That’s their problem; I can’t and don’t want to do anything about it.”
OP, we had to stop taking to the grandparents about the college search when they got too pushy about their preferences. We started saying, “We’ll let you know in May where she decides to go” to every question about it.
“We will let you know May 1st where she decides to enroll.”
Repeat as often as necessary…and give NO other information.
But as pointed out above…there is still time to apply to some elite schools…but that still doesn’t mean you should discuss this with others,
Just smile and nod.
If she is satisfied and the choices will be affordable, that’s all that matters.
One other thought: come spring, it might be nice to have a few choices of a different style, just in case she should have a change of heart about what she wants and/or if there might be a possibility of better financial aid than the current list would offer.
@ChangeTheGame
Your daughter has less than a week to apply to any more top schools as the majority of applications are due the 1st of January, while a few are due up until the 15th. If she can’t find any schools she likes by tomorrow morning, I wouldn’t stress her with any applications.
However if she’s applying to GaTech, I’m confused as to why Emory is “too close to home”? Also does she not like Duke or Davidson?
A student who likes the HBCUs is very unlikely to like Duke.
first of all, your kid sounds amazing.
2nd, I would add 1 or 2 reaches in the next 48 hours…it can’t hurt…and don’t tell anyone.
On the schools you are considering, I consider both Howard & Georgia Tech to be superb choices for any smart kid.
@VANDEMORY1342 The only criteria I gave her when she composed her list was that she had to select an Public in-state school as a safety (for admission and financial purposes) to her list and she chose Georgia Tech. Since I don’t consider Georgia Tech a safety for anyone (and the fact that Tech has the latest EA decision), she added UGA as well. Her criteria seemed to revolve around leaving the state for cities she can imagine loving (New Orleans and Washington DC) and were chosen after visiting around 15 schools over the spring and summer trying to get an idea of how she would “fit”. I could totally see her loving Atlanta, but we are 35 minutes from Georgia Tech. There is maybe a 5% chance she stays in GA. I thought Duke might fit her but she has been hearing about it forever (two of her best friends having been talking Duke for years). We should have visited (her other criteria was that she would not go anywhere she had not seen up close) so I take the blame there.
@SouthernHope She knows she can add a school or 2 and I know the grandparent hasn’t given up the quest to get a reach school or 2 added this weekend so I am just going to sit back and watch. The Jedi Mind tricks don’t seem to work on her.
@thumper1 I am done talking at work and amongst acquaintances about this until a decision is made. Some have been very curious because their kids are about to go through this process soon. Also my son (10th grade) is a better test taker than my daughter was at the same point (PSAT 1390 EBWR 650 MATH 740) so people are always asking questions. It is all my fault because I am proud of them but I have been keeping quiet the last month or so
@ChangeTheGame She deserves her happiness. She can’t live to satisfy the prestige requirements of others. She sounds like a strong and amazing young woman. I’d let her choose her favorite. She has worked hard enough to have that choice respected. And a girl like this it won’t matter. She’ll be valued for who she is.
People are only saying those sorts of things because they love her and want her to reach their idea of success. But she is her own person and she is doing what she wants with life.
I think your kid has a good head on her shoulders. Don’t force a rushed application for somewhere she doesn’t really want to go. She has some great choices now, those should be celebrated.
I went to an HBCU too, and I loved my experience - there’s really just nothing else like it. And like you I have a lot of friends who went to various HBCUs and work professional jobs. For a young black woman in tech, HBCUs are also a great choice - HBCUs educate disproportionately more black engineers and tech workers than they would be expected to. She picked all the great ones for science and engineering! And with her stats she should expect some big scholarship support. There’s nothing wrong with well-wishers asking or suggesting in theory, but it does get quite tedious to have people constantly questioning your choices, and the way in which they “ask” or “suggest” is really key.
Her list sounds great. Maybe she doesn’t want the pressure-cooker environment of some of the more elite schools.
Are these your parents or your wife’s parents asking about HBCUs? If both you and your wife went, do your parents have some wishes or expectations or something that your college experiences didn’t match for you?
Why?