<p>I'm going to Stanford in the fall. I told one of my friends I applied to Harvard, and considering my success with Stanford, he assumed I had gotten in and announced it to the entire class.</p>
<p>I was very embarrassed to tell everyone that he misunderstood me and that I was indeed rejected. I went with the flow and accept the congratulations and stated I declined Harvard for Stanford.</p>
<p>This news spread like wild fire and even people I barely know single me out as the kid who got into Harvard and Stanford. If it were just a few people, I'd own up to my lie. People think highly of me and aren't one bit suspicious that I'm lying about Harvard. Stanford is my first choice, and I'd go there even if I were admitted at Harvard.</p>
<p>What do I do?
1. Own up to my lie at expense of embarrassment and decrease in credibility
2. Just go with the flow and say I declined Harvard for Stanford</p>
<p>Option 2 seems the logical approach, but I just feel a bit uneasy about lying...</p>
<p>Just say it was a joke that got out of hand, or a rumor that got out of hand (true) and laugh it off. The opinion of well meaning but misinformed people who think Stanford is a downgrade from Harvard is not worth stressing yourself about - you’re going to Stanford!!</p>
<p>My recommendation: fix this now before it gets out of hand. What if your school or local newspaper decides to do a piece on “declined Harvard to attend Stanford”? These little white lies have a way of becoming legend and before you know it, somewhere down the road, it ends up on something official. I know this sounds crazy, but there have been quite a lot of national and international circumstances lately with people intentionally fabricating credentials and while yours does not rise to the level of “claiming” you have a degree from Harvard, it can be slippery slope. What if somehow the Harvard guy/gal who interviewed you (usually local) found out you were claiming H accepted you? They DO get the lists, you know. What would your credibility look like then? My son was unaware that May 1 was an unofficial “national decision day” for wearing your school gear regarding the university you selected. He wore his Princeton hoodie from when he attended a program there a couple of years ago. All day he was peppered with, “Attending Princeton?” He could have said nothing. Or lied. Instead, he said proudly, “No, Boston College.” Next day he wore his new BC tee shirt that I had ordered for him once he selected BC. Advice from the greats: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything” (Mark Twain). “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you” (Freidrich Nietzsche) “There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all” (Ayn Rand). Moral of story: fix little problems before they become giant hairballs on which you choke.</p>
<p>Don’t lie - it’s not right. Don’t start your college career and adult life with a lie. </p>
<p>You should be able to easily explain this away as a misinterpretation on your friend’s part that got out of hand. You’ll feel better for it. You also have nothing to be ashamed of as far as admissions but you will have something to be ashamed of if you go along with this. </p>
<p>The first person to talk to is that alleged friend.</p>
<p>It’s not a big deal. After you graduate, no one is going to care about where anyone got accepted. Just smile politely and say thank you if anyone congratulates you. School’s almost over and it will die down very quickly.</p>
<p>If officials ask, tell them the truth. If anyone wants to “run a story” about it (seriously VERY doubtful unless it’s a town with 100 people), just say you really have nothing to say about it.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Not really even in the same ballpark as the OP’s situation.</p>
<p>I don’t know what the best thing to do in this situation is, but it just goes to show you how a little fib can snowball. Most people have lied at some point in their life. I know I’ve done it-but it was always wrong, and rarely did I not regret it. I learned a long time ago that honesty really is the best policy. </p>
<p>Whatever you decide to do, move forward with the knowledge that lying can get really complicated, and it can become very difficult to keep each piece of the lie straight (as most lies beget other lies). Just decide to do better from now on.</p>
<p>Oh-and congrats on your achievement. An acceptance to Stanford is an amazing achievement in its own right.</p>
<p>I’d make a fb status saying something like, it kind of started out as a joke but I want everyone to know I didn’t get in to Harvard lol, but I really, really did get into Stanford.</p>
<p>You have a third option, and one almost everyone should adopt. Say nothing about your admissions and what you decided. There is NEVER any obligation to share details that are confidential. </p>
<p>Shrug it off and move on. Nobody will care about this story, unless YOU decide to make it worse.</p>
<p>I could be wrong, but I think you should let your counselor know what happened. Then, if anyone asks you about Harvard tell them you did not want to embarrass your friend (who thought you had been accepted to both schools), but it is not true that you were accepted at Harvard. I do not think you have to clarify whether you were rejected by Harvard or not, if you do not want to.</p>
<p>Laugh it off, but make it clear you didn’t get into Harvard. It’s okay, it seems like a big deal now, a year from now this will be a funny story. In the meantime - congratulations!</p>
<p>Saying one more word about it is a bad idea. There are several thousand student who turned down Harvard to attend local schools. And even more who turned down athletic scholarships. Or so they say. The bleachers are full of half lies and … Full lies.</p>
<p>But seriously as xiggi said, it is best to keep quiet about it. None of this will matter after you graduate and are already at Stanford. It’s really not a big deal and you won’t suffer any repercussions like the ones laplatinum mentioned lol. This isn’t something people are going to talk about or remember. All that will matter is that you are going to Stanford and your time there.</p>
<p>Hmm–S heard a rumor that his classmate turned down Harvard for $ at Vanderbilt. Maybe that kid didn’t REALLY get into Harvard. . .makes me wonder ;)</p>
<p>I would say nothing at this point. If someone asks you directly if you got into Harvard, then tell the truth.
If something like this ever happens to you again, you’ve learned that you’ll feel a lot better if you clear up the misunderstanding right away.</p>
<p>Yeah, OP, if you get a call from a newspaper wanting to do a feature, you should 'fess up. Otherwise, let it go.</p>
<p>But, thanks, laplatinum, for inadvertently reminding me of one of the funniest movies of all time, Preston Sturges’ Hail the Conquering Hero. Now I know the movie I’m going to make my D watch with me on Mother’s Day.</p>
<p>Nah, if a reporter calls, you should do what EVERYBODY should do, namely decline politely but very firmly. As plenty of stories have demonstrated, there is nothing to gain from providing those sensationalists any material. This site is called College Confidential and every student should keep it that way, or accept the fact that the five minutes of fame will come at a price.</p>
<p>Fwiw, most stories printed in the papers regarding admissions are usually filled with errors and misleading statements. Who has not read about merit aid at the Ivies or athletic scholarships offered to sophomores?</p>
<p>I’m for owning up – although I can understand going along with it initially. Just say that you didn’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings or that it was a joke.</p>
<p>Those who say it will blow over, what do you think the OP should say to all those people-including some he hardly knows-who continue to run up to him & congratulate him?
I feel for you, OP,you didn’t exactly start this (although as you say, you didn’t stop it right away either). You certainly don’t sound like you ever intended this outcome.
Let us know what you decide to do and how it goes.</p>