People think I got into Harvard but I didn't...

<p>If I hadn’t been familiar with the thread, DukeShama’s post would have made me think we were talking about something much, much more significant than a miscommunication about whether the OP did or didn’t get into Harvard. </p>

<p>This: “I think this misunderstanding will haunt you if you don’t correct it.” For real? Is there a possibility (maybe? a little, eentsy-beentsy possibility?) that the OP will have forgotten about this within a few months when he or she is enduring the rigors of a Stanford education? (Or, I don’t know, maybe just living his or her life as a college freshman?) </p>

<p>I agree fully with momof3greatgirls’ recommendation to clear things up on a case-by-case basis. There is no need to make a big hairy deal out of it.</p>

<p>I never used to think like this.</p>

<p>Is it possible that your “friend” broadcast this as a way of attempting to force into public the idea that you were rejected at Harvard? Your post makes it sound like he couldn’t have known…but I’d give a little thought to that angle. You’re the one in the best position to judge.</p>

<p>In any case, I’d say just begin to correct it.</p>

<p>I would correct the misunderstanding ASAP, because this stuff does take on a life of its own. Getting into Harvard is a big, big deal and people will talk about it and remember. School staff, like GC’s, LOVE to brag about where their kids got in and you never know when it could get publicly announced by a teacher or other school employee who thinks it’s true. You may win an award or scholarship at senior night, and the presenter might include it in your introduction. When my D got accepted to Harvard, her GC went right to the principal’s office and told him “I helped D get into Harvard!” The principal then announced it when he honored the National Merit Finalists and Commended students, even though by then she had already decided to attend a different school. He saw it as a credential and wanted to make the his high school look good. But at least she really did get into H, so no harm. </p>

<p>But she chose Stanford because she was a recruited athlete and their athletic program is superior. Knowing that, many people assumed she got a full ride or big scholarship there. She didn’t. She was offered the choice of a token book money scholarship or regular FA and chose the latter. BUT, the whole idea of having their first Stanford recruit was just too delicious for the AD. She knew the facts, but either forgot them, became confused in her excitement, or just plain lied to make her athletic program look good. Anyway, she proceeded to announce to a whole auditorium of people that D had gotten a full ride to Stanford. Among the people who heard her say it, was the President of D’s elementary PTO, and they had just selected D for their annual scholarship. The lady and her fellow PTO members were miffed to say the least, at D’s audacity to apply when she already had a full ride. It was a mess.</p>

<p>Stop the rumor now.</p>

<p>^^ Rumors are like garbage. The more you “move” them, the more odorous they become. </p>

<p>None of the reasons advanced to express a need to set the record straight makes much sense; no matter how “big of a deal” this seems to some, this is nothing else than another school the student will not attend. The only thing people will remember is that the student went to Stanford.</p>

<p>Again, reports of admissions and rejections are typically peppered with half-truths and lies. Schools --and newspapers-- often publish stories of millons in scholarships … without bothering to separate merit from pure need-based aid. It just come with the territory as many allow their egos to play games with the truth. In the end, it really, really does not matter. Just as SAT scores, rankings, schools one turned down do not matter the second a student starts his or her college days. Nobody cares! Well, except for a few parents who feel the need to justify choices, especially accepting merit aid at “lesser schools” and turning down a HYPS caliber school. </p>

<p>Let bygones be bygones. Smile and move on!</p>

<p>I smell ■■■■■. OP hasn’t been back here since he posted and he joined CC just to post about something like this? Come on…</p>

<p>This is post the OP sent in late April:</p>

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<p>Why would someone who is already accepted to Stanford need to send in a 6 year old SAT score?</p>

<p>At first I thought this was the same kid who posted the ■■■■■ thread on “My teacher called my autistic son ‘trash,’ what do I do?” But the writing styles are not the same.</p>

<p>Hit and runs do tend to make you wonder…</p>

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<p>Assuming this is not a ■■■■■…</p>

<p>The OP says that HE was embarrassed to have been rejected, not that he was afraid of embarrassing his friend. He also says that he went on to STATE that he declined H for S. Not very admirable motivation or behavior. Nonetheless, it would appear that he has learned something from this episode. </p>

<p>My suggestion: correct it on a case by case basis if people mention it to you. Make sure the GC knows the truth. Don’t post it on Facebook. Do not, ever, give information to a reporter, no matter how much they flatter you! (Think of all the kids and parents who have made fools of themselves at worst or been misrepresented at best in articles about “the homeschooler who got into Harvard” or “the kid with a 2400 who was rejected from the Ivies” or “my son the 6 yr old genius” and so forth.) And tell the truth in the future. This kind of thing really can come round and bite you in the @$$ down the road.</p>

<p>You’re going to go off to Stanford and do your thing; they are going to go off to wherever they go and do their thing. I don’t get why you’d even think anyone will remember this. Are you ever going to see any of these people again?</p>

<p>I agree that you shouldnt bring it up. If someone asks you point blank you could say there was a misunderstanding. You are going to Stanford. Period. Its really no ones business.</p>

<p>Patsmom may be right–■■■■■ alert–but regardless, these situations do come up. (Maybe we shamed him into not responding?!) SnowDog: woof, woof. :wink: I’m amazed at how we are clearly split on this issue: some of us feel that ethical behavior includes “lying by omission as well as by commission” and thus, regardless of its genesis, the individual should come clean. Others (woof, woof), choose to chew out those of us who believe ethics is manifest in even the smallest of matters. I agree with TheGFG whose daughter actually WAS accepted at both places. Harvard IS a big deal and yes, those in one’s constellation would like to have a little of that glitter. That said, I LOVE Stanford and its glitter, too.</p>

<p>OP,
There is no reason to discuss any plans or acceptances with your friends. It has been rule #1 at D’s HS. It creates artificial strain in relationships. However, as you started, there is no going back…except, just stop… do not answer any questions, ignore,…it is your right, your situation is nobody’s business. I do not support any untrue statements, but I fully support complete silence in regard to any personal business, eventually your friends will get it and leave the subject all together.</p>

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<p>Obviously, opinions will vary. However, your characterization of the “factions” is utterly flawed. This is not a matter of ethics, and you cannot judge the response with ethics as the guiding light. </p>

<p>The OP, if real or not, seems tortured by what has happened, but also asked for practical advice. There is a clear distinction between what he (or she) should have done in the first place, and what can be done to move forward. Ignoring it altogether is a much smarter alternative. Let the gossipers switch to another subject. </p>

<p>Fwiw, allow me to repeat that none of this (and similar incidents) would happen if the students kept their information on a strict need-to-know-basis, and if people learned to mind their own business.</p>

<p>The older SAT scores might have been taken in 7th grade for the CTY/Duke TIP programs</p>

<p>^^^^^Yes, that’s a logical conclusion. But why would a student already accepted to Stanford need to send his 7th grade SAT scores somewhere?</p>

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<p>Good idea. Frankly it is no one else’s bsuiness…AND people will find out.
Some parents told me ther ds got into H and turned it down–However I can see on the highschool profile that everyone who was accepted to H- attends H…sooo that means their student did not get “in” to H…as I know he attends elsewhere.
Sadly there are those that lie about it - </p>

<p>However, then there are situations like yours that get out of hand…If you can fix it now–the sooner the better.
…one by one as it comes up.</p>

<p>Congrats on S. You are blessed and it is a great school.</p>

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He wouldnt, unless he erroneously thought the scores would ba accepted today.</p>

<p>Since Harvard is considered “The Stanford of the East”, just let it go.</p>

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<p>I don’t think so. The OP hasn’t been back on CC since he posted. He hasn’t even read any of these replies.</p>

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<p>The OP may be a ■■■■■ but at least if someone was accepted to Stanford then it would seem within the realm of possibility that they were also accepted to Harvard. There is a kid my my DD’s school that has told people that she was accepted to Georgetown. In no way do I see that as plausible unless white, middle class girls from the mid-west with mediocre grades and ECs are suddenly in demand :P</p>

<p>How do you keep admissions confidential? Questions such as “where did you apply”, “where did you get in”, etc. are the norm. If someone asks me, “where are you going to college next year?”, how do I tactfully avoid the question?</p>