I am feeling really stressed at the moment. I have just moved up into Year 9 and the work has started getting harder. We are beginning to have homework piled on us, but everyone leaves it until the last minute. I manage to stay on top of mine most of the time and pretty much always have it done way before it is due. However some people in my class don’t, they will be doing their homework at break or lunch the day it is due. I am quite a smart person and so everyone turns to me for help, they all want the answers of the homework that I spent time doing. At the moment, I have just been handing the answers around, but it is beginning to stress me out. Yesterday, I was added into a group chat where people were asking about our science homework, everyone kept badgering me so in the end I just texted a picture of my homework. I want to stop doing that because I worry that if I get one wrong, and everybody has my answers, and so everybody gets that question wrong, I will be blamed and everyone will hate me. However, I also feel that if I don’t give them the answers, they will hate me. Most of the time, the only messages I get is from people wanting to copy my answers, people who have left their homework until the last minute. Let’s take today for example, I got two messages, but both of them were people wanting help with our English homework, due tomorrow. They were both from people I don’t usually speak to, and am not very close with. I didn’t give either of them my answers, but I had to lie, and say that I had already handed it in the stop them begging for the answers. I feel like I am being used and that people are only friends with me so that they can copy my homework and use my knowledge to benefit them.
HELP!!
To take a phrase from Nancy Reagan, just say no.
It’s fine to help friends with concepts and can be a good way for you to solidify concepts, but this goes way beyond. At my D’s school this would have been an honors code violation for academic dishonesty. Not only for copying someone else’s homework, but also for knowingly letting someone copy off of you.
Do NOT give out your homework answers.
Just because someone messages you, you don’t need to respond. My D had this problem early on in HS (along with people wanting to be her partner for projects) and we told her to tell people that her parents sucked and we were taking her phone away in the evenings.
If confronted directly say the homework is not done yet, or that you turned it in (like you did). It’s up to you to set limits and learn to say ‘no’.
It’s hard because teenagers always want to be liked. You have to say no. Giving people your homework is cheating and you would be deemed to be as guilty as the person(s) copying your work. Use your parents as an excuse if you have to. People who are using you for your homework are not your friends and you are better off having nothing to do with them. You will see who your friends really are once you say and stick to no.
You’d definitely get in just as much trouble as them for giving your homework answers/photo/whatever out.
That said, just keep saying you already turned it in, or you haven’t done it yet either.
If there’s anyone who you could see yourself working on homework together, forming a study group or that sort of thing, then I’d give that a shot.
My daughter in 9th grade got in trouble for allowing others to copy her homework. The school designated this as “cheating” and teacher gave her a zero on the assignment.
Setting boundaries with others is an important skill to have.
To be honest, I’ve had the same dilemma. I’d say just say no to those who ask. Sure you feel very guilty at first but after your rejection, it’d take guts for them to ask again. However, if your friendship isn’t built off of a one sided homework exchange, I’d say help them out if it’s a one time thing.
If you’re afraid of saying no, just push yourself to lol
okay I’m joking. I sound like a huge hypocrite but I’m afraid of saying no so, I usually just send it to them and tell them I’m not responsible for any wrong answers. Honestly, don’t stress over such trivial matters yk?
If you can’t just say, no…
Your phone is out of charge.
Your phone has been taken away.
Your parents have limited the hours you can use your phone.
Leave your phone turned off all day in your backpack stating that you forgot it at home.
(these answers are assuming you are sharing via phone)
or:
“I didn’t get it done.”
“I have no idea. I’m lost.”
You need to put a stop to this for many reasons including the fact that you could get caught cheating. Even though you are the one supplying the answers, I can tell you the school that my son attends would charge you with cheating as well. You are also now competing with your classmates for class rank. Helping them, hurts you.
These kids using you for answers are not your friends. You can’t worry about letting them down.
I agree with @Empireapple. My kids used to be in the same position. The older one would tell people that she didn’t see the message, or if she did she would say she forgot to send it. Sometimes she would tell people that she wasn’t finish with her homework yet. After few times (people couldn’t count on you giving them your homework) they will move on.
Both of my kids were straight A students, but they didn’t talk about it with their friends. Whenever people asked how they did on a test they would just say, “I did fine. It was a tough test.” (or something like that).
As others mentions, it is cheating by giving your homework to others. You could get written up for it and it could stay on your record.
In college students are graded on curve. It gets to be a lot more competitive. I know there were times when my kids wouldn’t share their notes from class with someone if he/she consistently doesn’t show up.
How awful it would be to have to go through the rest of high school lying every day.
So don’t. Just say no, and say it with confidence. “No, I’m not risking getting suspended any more because YOU didn’t do your homework!”
You’ll probably only have to say this once or twice. Right now you’re enabling the others. You can put a stop to that any time.
If pressed, you can honesty say that some adults (the posters on this thread) have gone over the consequences with you and the price and risk is too high.
You are being used! In the end, no one respects that, even if sharing your homework may make some people act friendlier.
Some posters have suggested some lines like “I haven’t done it yet.” If that works for you, and they soon get the message and stop badgering you, then great.
But why not just take a social risk and be honest: “I’m tired of doing the work for everyone else. I’m not going to do that anymore.” or " Sorry, but it’s really not my problem " or, just “No, I’m not sharing homework but good luck with it” or “I’ll tutor you sometime if you want but I’m not your homework slave.” Or something in your own words. If they try to argue, don’t respond. You don’t owe them anything and they know it. Some people will be mad, but in the end you’ll get more respect. Your real friends will get it and understand.
OP, I am going to anticipate another problem you have or will likely encounter and that is group projects. You will be asked by the same people who ask you for your homework to be their partner/in their group and you will end up doing all the work. Don’t choose your partners based on “popularity” (unless the popular kid is also a hard worker). My kids ran into this and they learned to pick their partners based on kids who they knew to be hard workers as well. If the teacher designates the groups, the only thing you can do is be very clear at the beginning as to who is responsible for what. Unfortunately in those situations, you will likely have to cover for lazy/weak members, but that happens in the real world as well.
Some things to try:
“I just read a story about a kid who shared his homework answers and then he got suspended…So I can’t do that anymore. But if you tell me what you got for a question and can tell you if I got the same thing.”
“Show me how you approached the problem and I will let you know if you are on the right track.”