To me, it always comes back to the ability to listen & converse. So for college, it’s whether the culture is open or closed for discussion (of varying viewpoints).
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Pepperdine is an evangelical Christian college - you can be “Malibu” AND conservative AND very religious. Everything is evangelical-centered (“Christ-centered”) at Pepperdine, and it’s a point of pride. It’s probably the most moderate evangelical college on the West Coast.
LMU is a Jesuit college - it is distinctly Catholic but in the Jesuit (educational) philosophy, also a point of pride (recently, supplemental essays were all based on Papal quotes as alumni were worried it was losing its distinctive Catholic character. LMU LA is one of the more conservative “LMUs” in the US, but it’s more progressive than an evangelical college and some of its keystones of faith would be different, too. Students at top UCs or most Claremonts would likely find it very moderate.)
The religious-related core classes will be different at both.
They’re also very different in the way they handle belief.
When you “live and breathe” your faith, you don’t even notice it.
Some questions to think about when comparing all universities on your list: do they think gay couples should marry (why/why not)? Do they think God sees LGBTQ students in a committed, sexual relationship as His children? Can LGBTQ students dance together at on-campus dances?
Do they think being pro-choice is compatible with being Christian?
Do they have an opinion about the current Pope?
How did the Administration react to the BLM protests? To MeToo? What about the students?
If you know Muslim or Jewish or “humanistic/cultural/non practicing Christian” students who visited the colleges, ask them what they thought. Typically, the two types of institutions generate very different responses from students who aren’t their “target believer” and obviously at SDSU there would be a mix of all faiths + atheists + secular students.
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You may find people at the schools that do think gay marriage should be allowed, but neither school is going to allow it. The couple will not be allowed to use the beautiful chapels or have their favorite priest marry them.
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Do you believe any of the 3 schools successfully encourages a culture of open discussion & progression of ideas?
I attended a Pepperdine satellite campus for grad school (twice). Different than undergrad, I acknowledge. Just briefly however, much of my work was focused on eastern thought & spiritual practice and I always felt encouraged & supported in my preferences of study. (I am a Christian). The professors were very much a part of the fabric of the school, (in case anyone might assume they were divorced from it at a satellite).
And I can tell you that I took a gay east coast relative, who attended a Jesuit prep school, out to visit his top 2 choices: Pepperdine & LMU. He applied to both after. But, that’s just my personal case story… 
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Good to know!
I know that my brother is complaining bc my niece apparently gets criticized for her conservative views at Notre Dame, when they have paid all this $ to keep her in a conservative environment. She is now working at Goldman Saks so she isn’t exactly scarred for life.
And I’ve seen her Instagram photos, so I don’t think they should blame the school if she strays.
ANYWAY…it’s all level of comfort and willingness to live with other views. The religious background schools do value educating the “whole person.”
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Hear hear @Cela71 
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I’m back! 2 days to go!
My son loves LMU. I got a job.
We went back to LMU to ask for more money & they declined. We sent all of our covid financial stuff and they didn’t care.
What happens to the money that is offered to other students that decline their spot? I have seen at least one person on this thread turn down $30k to LMU. Does it go to higher achieving students? Does it go to the person on the list with the highest financial need, whether the requested more money or not? Does it go to kids on the waiting list?
Or does it go back into some marketing budget for next year. I can accept that we won’t get more money, if it goes to someone more qualified or in need. But I just want to understand and not be a fool.
Thanks!
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I’ve always wondered that too- a lot of money gets turned down each year by kids who go elsewhere… where does it go? My daughter just committed to LMU this week. For her, it was her dream school. She loved that she could love the school and no one seemed to care an ounce that she’s a far leaning liberal atheist- she even wrote an essay about her lack of faith and how it doesn’t affect her commitment to service, so no one was guessing with her. Ha. Our situation is totally different from your family’s-she is using GI bill and was honestly lucky to get in (she was in a weird position with her app), so she couldn’t wait to accept- but if it meant tons of loans she would’ve been saying no thank you, dream school or no.
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Some schools do not re-offer scholarships that are turned down. UF states that it offers 300 merit scholarships (various amounts) but that if not accepted, they are not offered to other students. They expect a certain number to be turned down. That’s for merit. Maybe there is need based aid that is offered to others, but Florida has most of its aid given out through Bright Futures (merit from the state, not available to others if not used by the student), some state need based grants which I think UF could reissue, SEOG, Pell grants.
But that school merit money? Gone.
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You have to remember they have a yield. For example if it’s 25% they know that 75% are saying no. So someone turning it down is unlikely to change anything.
Good luck.
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Congrats! We will see you there!
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It’s decided? Congratulations! I bet both our kids will have an amazing experience!
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I think UF is prepared to issue all 300 merit scholarships if all 300 students accepted , but they don’t reissue if 20 turned them down. I’m sure they know the average number accepted per year, but will honor all 300 if accepted.
The SEOG grant pool is given to universities every year. If student turns the school down, that money is still in the pot. Same with Work Study. If a student wants more WS, usually they can ask a few weeks into the semester and if others have turned it down, the school can reissue.
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Congratulations! It’s for the best.
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I can totally relate to your son’s ADD/anxiety reality. My son '21 has both and was late diagnosed in Sophomore year. He is on the messy side and lacking some executive functioning skills…anyhow, he applied Pepperdine(withdrew), SMU and Cal Poly Slo.
He got into SMU, but not its Business school. Just got off WL from Cal Poly Slo Business School. He insisted on going to Cal Poly even though it meant we are paying 47K for OOS, more than the cost of attendance at SMU where he is offered scholarship/grants. Any kind of nudging all turned into full blown meltdowns…He set his heart on business school, not economics, not management science or data science.
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As an SMU grad, I’m glad you picked Cal Poly! I made my son apply to SMU and he got in, but refused to even go Luke. Social pressure at SMU is not good for anxiety!
It’s hard to say “no” when their face lights up about another school. I think they will do best where they are happiest. My son had friends that turned down Berkeley for places that made them happier.
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Yes and No - fit and finances are most important. Finances are different to every family - but no one should have to take undue stress if they have other options. At most or even all schools, if the kids seek help, they’ll find it. There’s no guarantees anywhere - but $47K is a lot of money. It depends on the family - perhaps it’s fine for one but for another it’s crushing.
Always take your financial situation into account. It sucks to have to tell your kids no - but unfortunately we do need to do that - i.e. set up parameters and our kids have to adjust. After all, when they’re working for someone, it’s going to be an every day occurrence.
Good luck to you.
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When he applied Cal Poly Slo last Dec, I thought the COA would be 22k for OOS tuition plus 12k room and board plus 2k mis, with a total of 36K give or take. That would be 10k more than going to in state schools but comparable to SMU. But just today I learned that Cal Poly is charging 6k for opportunity fee for OOS, and room and board is at 16k now. So the cost of attendance would be 11K above our budget. Not an easy decision.
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And going up each year.
Perhaps you can explain to him and he’ll understand. He’s becoming an adult.
Choosing colleges is not easy. Kids get emotional about it. Mine was for American yet after it became a $57k COA we eliminated it and my daughter dealt. It wasn’t in her final 4 and she never mentions. I could afford it but why should I?
We gave her 6 schools or so after all the offers up to about $45k.
She did not pick the cheapest…Bama, FSU and AZ - all low to mid 20s. She picked the right fit which was about 31k provided she keeps great grades. Don’t forget at most schools merit requires a 3.0. So it’s not a given you keep it.
Was there a better school for her ? Perhaps Washington and Lee but at $81k COA it was a hard no and she understood. Their merit is outrageously good if you are one of the lucky 12% or so who get at least free tuition hence she applied. But knowing we had to pass was understood.
For any future patents reading I think that’s most important. Set parameters up front.
My daughter wanted to but I did not let her apply to any schools that had no merit aid. Others, like Rice, we knew were a prayer. Then we applied to those we know would be in budget. Set your rules up front to save heartbreak later.
Keeping emotions out is the key!!
Best of luck.
Congratulations for finding a way to “make it work” financially for what is the best fit for your son.
Wrt scholarships: they give them to more students, having data showing how many students take them up on it. So the scholarships that are turned down are just the “expected” yield on scholarships.