<p>Okay, I need some serious help! I am a complete perfectionist, and it's driving me crazy! I am physically unable to skimp on ANYTHING, even when it's late at night (or even early in the morning), and I can't not do anything either. I push myself way too hard, harder than anyone else really could without it being declared child abuse, and I compare myself academically to EVERYONE--older students who are mentioned in class as being "really smart," my classmates, random people I meet, even fictional characters, and then get upset and work myself into the ground to meet that, even if it is impossible. I love being motivated, don't get me wrong, but I am competitive and a perfectionist to the point of absurdity. I don't know what to do! I'm going to kill myself if I continue to work at this pace, and I really don't need to. Last night I got home at 11:30, studied for an hour for a minor quiz in a class I have a 100 in, and did a 5-point homework assignment for a class I have a 106 in AND which I have a study hall right before. I ended up getting about 2 hrs of sleep (I had to wake up at 4), which is becoming the norm for me. I hate comparing myself to everyone else and getting depressed because I don't measure up to them. What can I do to relax a bit?</p>
<p>Oh, and I have calmed down and breathed, I have "taken a mental health day," I have talked to my friends and told them to stop me if they see me doing it, etc., etc. The problem is, when they call me an "overachiever," it just makes me want to work harder!</p>
<p>DOn't worry....unfortunately same here....I'm a freshman, over sensitive to criticism HAVE to be the best, and sleep at 2:00
My cure, hang out with certain people ppl for at least 5 minutes a day....it helps (btw beware of those smart kids that will try to not make you study because they want a higher ranking than you....i accidentally met one of those...)
AND don't slack too though, b/c that happened to me, so now I'm sleeping at 3:00 basically....hehehehe anyway...</p>
<p>It sounds like your perfectionism has completely run away with your life. Although it's one thing to want to do well, getting two hours of sleep a night
is not a good idea, from both a personal health and a productivity standpoint. Try to make an "assignment" for yourself to get at least six hours a night. Just doing this might make you feel more relaxed about everything in your life.</p>
<p>It also sounds like you've lost your ability to judge how much time is "reasonable" to spend on something. For small homework assignments and studying for classes that you already have a very high A in, set an amount of time to spend beforehand. Then set a timer, and when the time is up, put that work away. And then go get sleep!</p>
<p>You mention comparing yourself to everybody else. If you compare grades, that can be a huge source of stress because you feel compelled to out-perform peers. And even if you do out-perform them consistently, you will only feel more pressure to keep it up. It can be a hard habit to break, but my daughter did it, and she now feels like she only has to get grades for herself, not to "prove" her intelligence to her peers. It's been a big help for her, and she has many of the perfectionism issues that you mentioned.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that spending so much time on "overdoing" silly little activities prevents you from exploring new opportunities, reading for fun, and doing so many other things that are personally enriching.</p>
<p>I was never as bad as this, but I had some degree of this in middle school, and freshmen and sophomore years in hs.
for me this kind of pseudo-obsessive perfectionism faded in time.
it might not for you, but seriously at least try to make it go away. 2 hours of sleep is nowhere near healthy, and I'm surprised you can still function on that much - I feel like garbage on 5 hours of sleep.</p>
<p>a good idea might be to try and find a nice hobby that will find you relax when you really need it and it will help take your mind off your obsessive perfectionism. for me thats playing guitar and listening to music. its different for everyone, so find what suites your tastes.</p>
<p>Thanks for everybody's help. Just to clarify, the 2 hrs of sleep is not becoming the norm for me, just overobsessing about everything is. I do get a reasonable about of sleep, maybe not as much as I would like, but I'm usually in bed by 11, 11:30. I do try to stop myself; I chide myself for being silly when I compare myself to others, but the need to sort of still lurks at the back of my mind. My parents absoutely did not make me this way, it was totally me. They tell me to relax and not sweat stuff, but I just really can't. I do get straight As, I am in a bunch of clubs, I hang out with my friends, etc. I do have a life, it's just comparing myself to unreachable standards stresses me. If I see someone talking about all the clubs they're in, I feel the need to join more clubs. If my teacher talks about a girl who aced all her tests, I feel the need to ace all my tests. If one of my friends says they did better than me on a test, I get upset, even if, as in one instance, we were both several points over 100 on the test. I even read a book about a "supergenius" girl (a work of fiction) and felt the need to be as good as her. It's not really that huge of a problem, it doesn't affect the rest of my life, but it bothers me, and I was hoping to be able to supress it to some degree.</p>
<p>Oh and edit. Momhippo, it's not that bad as that link. I am usually quite proud of my work and always turn it in on time (unless I forget, which is normal, I believe, as it happens quite rarely). I usually strive for a 100, but as long as I get a grade that I feel I deserve I'm usually very happy with my grade. Really, it's not that all my work has to be "perfect," per se, but simply not bad, if that makes any sense. I can't just slap something down to answer a question, I have to actually answer it. I am very sensitive to criticism, especially from teachers, but I am getting better about that.</p>