<p>I get the point of view of the Adcoms, but I feel so awful for those kids whose parents and culture expect so much out of them. I guess if I were a GC, I might use a descriptor like “perfectionist” to describe the overachievers. I read somewhere (quite a while ago, so I don’t remember where) that employers don’t like straight A students b/c they can’t handle failure, and failure is part of the work experience. Also, straight A students tend to be perfectionists who can’t let something go (like a project, etc.) The flip side to this is that top colleges seem to weigh straight A’s like gold coins. It feels like catch-22.</p>
<p>I can see perfectionist being a negative, but until cc I never saw hard-working as a negative.</p>
<p>As I was just driving around doing errands, another adjective popped into my head that describes ds: helpful. Hmmmm. Does that sound like too much of a people-pleaser?</p>
<p>
[QUOTE=Dad’o’2]
if you can give your evaluator/recommender words that they can cut & paste or reword slightly, you are doing both of you a favor.
[/quote]
Yes!! Dad’s so right about this. We got to see one of geek_son’s faculty recommendations for a scholarship and found some familiar phrases in it; apparently the teacher had kept the profile and whipped it out months later to write this rec. The rec was a surprise requirement with a super-short deadline, so I think the teacher was happy to have the profile on hand.</p>
<p>Works pretty well when you’re dealing with the press, too… a nice, well-written email message often yields more accurate quotes.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE=Dad’o’2]
Wow! Will you write my daughter a recommendation? Better yet, will you write the performance evaluations for my staff this fall?
[/quote]
Heh, thanks for the compliment! 
Actually, you reminded me that I have to write a scholarship rec for one of my own students, which will be a pleasure since he’s my “best in career.”</p>
<p>
[QUOTE=colmomto2]
what a scary thought - “hardworking” means something negative.
[/quote]
colmom, I don’t think you really need to worry much about this. “Hard-working” is just a descriptive term; a single teeny data point in the overall profile that emerges from an application. I think it’s good to find out what the target college is looking for and be able to “package” one’s qualities accordingly, just as one would target a resume and cover letter for a coveted job. But I’m pretty convinced that admissions folks see enough applications and recs that they know how to find the qualities they’re after in kids. In our experience, at least, college adcoms seem to work hard at getting to know applicants and figuring out who will be happy, successful, and productive at their schools.</p>
<p>This list of adjectives is from the book, What Colleges Don’t Tell You by Elizabeth Wissner-Gross (the book I love to hate). </p>
<p>Sample Good Adjectives:</p>
<p>bold, brilliant, charming, committed, compassionate, concerned, courageous, creative, critical thinker, curious, determined, devoted, demanding, driven, effervescent, empathetic, energetic, enthusiastic, exacting, exemplary, expert, generous, gifted, honest, inclusive, independent, innovative, intellectual, leader, logical, mature, methodical, multidimensional, multifaceted, one-of-a-kind, original, outspoken, outstanding, passionate about a subject, perfectionist, resourceful, respectful, role model, self-disciplined, self-respecting, serious, talented, thoughtful, unifying.</p>
<p>Some adjectives on this list are debatable (like perfectionist), but at least they give your brainstorming a jump start.</p>
<p>The book also has a list of sample weak or bad adjectives, but it is about 50% longer. (“Hard-working” is not on it, btw.)</p>
<p>“methodical” and “exacting” seem to me to work well for the techie kid or future math major, but not so well for other students. Methodical is the better of the two IMO; couldn’t “exacting” be construed as rigid? I think “outspoken” is a risky descriptor also. Too many people think it’s a negative quality. I should know, being an outspoken person myself! “Self-respecting” might better communicate the same trait, ie. the student is true to himself and stands up for what he believes in, but does so tactfully.</p>
<p>One person’s favorable adjective “demanding” is another person’s “high-maintenance” or even “annoying.” When I am trying to evaluate faculty candidates, I often wish that the letter writers would communicate the candidate’s specific accomplishments in nouns and verbs, and let me deduce their personal qualities. That’s harder at the college-applicant level, but the “telling anecdote” can still be the most revealing. </p>
<p>I don’t mean to single out curmudgeon’s daughter, but someone wrote about her efforts to improve the communication between hospital personnel and Spanish-speaking patients in the hospital where she volunteered. Her efforts showed that she was observant, thoughtful, and creative–she didn’t need to be labeled as such. That kind of specific information is pure gold in a recommendation letter.</p>
<p>Agree about “demanding”. It could carry an implication of selfishness—I want what I want when I want it, and I want it NOW!</p>
<p>Showing (by anecdote) is always more valuable than telling. 
</p>
<p>I know some consider this thread to be a way to manipulate the system …and I am dang proud to admit to my part in the manipulation. This is a way the kid from Hooterville, the projects, or the under-funded public school can diminish one advantage the better “guidance-counseled” students have.</p>
<p>Be pro-active.</p>
<p>I agree that any recommendation that SHOWS rather than tells will be so much more effective. A mere string of good adjectives, no matter how carefully thought out, doesn’t hold a candle to unadorned adjectives with a good story to back them up.</p>
<p>You all are right, of course. But the reason I started this thread is because the question is such that there’s no way to flesh it out. Worse, it’s the very first question asked on the form, so it will give the initial impression of the student. </p>
<p>“What three words best describe your son/daughter?”</p>
<p>And then below are three lines only an inch and a quarter in length next to each other across the page. The spacing is clearly designed to discourage elaboration.</p>
<p>I know that some college applications have the student do the exact same thing. Granted, there are other opportunities in other spots to give examples, but not there.</p>
<p>I’d heard you should be wary of words like quirky or eccentric because some individuals would read it as “this kid has asperger’s but we’re not allowed to say so.” And I’m sure there’s a code word that really means “ADD” but I can’t think of it offhand . .</p>
<p>Not all colleges prize the same the qualities, do they? I can see a place like University of Chicago embracing an applicant described as quirky or eccentric. </p>
<p>I really feel for you, GFG, having to condense your child into three meaningful, truthful, appealing adjectives.</p>
<p>Just want to do a quick clarification on posts #37 and #41. Talked to kids last night, and they informed me that the kids who were super-stressed were the ones who took an overload of top tier courses, competed in various academic competitions, did sports, and tons of ec’s. They were “hardworking” b/c of the time demands made on them - too much to do, too little time to do it all. </p>
<p>That being said, I’m sure Adcoms can spot these kids a mile away - all they have to do is look at their applications to see all the work. Isn’t this what the Adcoms are looking for? That’s why these kids are doing all this stuff - to get in to the top tier schools. Sounds like the kids are being punished for getting stressed over meeting the (outlandish) demands set upon them. I suppose the “winners” are the ones who make it look easy.</p>
<p>D’s school has long used a form which asks for input from the students themselves and also the parents. She described herself as: “positive”, “creative”, “ambitious”. I submitted mine (before I looked at what she wrote) and used “independent thinker”,“persistent”,“fairminded”.
She received a wonderful recommedation from her GC.</p>
<p>My daughter’s high school also had us parents fill out a “brag sheet.” Instead of hand-writing on the form provided, I typed the answers into my computer and e-mailed them to the guidance counselor (I asked if it was OK first and got an enthusiastic ‘yes’). Now, this GC knew my daughter very well and would have written a great rec with or without my help. And I have no idea whether he used anything I wrote, since we never saw the rec. But it wouldn’t surprise me if he did a little cutting and pasting.</p>
<p>And the questions in our brag sheet were:</p>
<p>Please give us some adjectives that describe your son or daughter:
In what ways will your son or daughter be an asset to her college?
If you were writing the letter, what would you definitely include?
Use this space for anything else you would like to offer. Use the back of the sheet if necessary.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I do not think the “demands set upon them” are outlandish. The demands are mostly in the heads of the students and their families. All too often, they have an “Ivy or bust” mentality. If one reads the “chance me” threads–which I try to avoid doing–I wonder if the students have time to sleep, eat, and shower at all.
S1 managed to get into top schools with only two ECs: music lessons from an early age, music camp during summers and a club that met once a week and about which he wrote in his application essay. A real slacker!
His brag sheet was the first time I got involved in trying to describe him in three words. I was mightily stumped. I believe I described him as “thoughtful.” But I forget what other two adjectives I used. Fortunately, his GC knew him well and gave great advice as to which colleges he should apply to. I don’t know what she or his teachers wrote, but it must have been good. Years later, when I met any of them, they still remembered him.</p>
<p>Wow! This thread is so informative!! I am glad that I didn’t send in that form for junior parents yet.I’m thinking about sending it in at the end of the summer so I can include some of the growth that might happen over the summer,or would this be too late? Do you think guidance counselors write their recommendations over the summer?TIA!</p>
<p>That’s a really great thing to think about. Three words. Hmm.</p>
<p>Insightful, creative, curious</p>
<p>Anyone else?</p>
<p>I’m sticking with what I said in post #11: witty, musical, and thoughtful. Those 3 words are accurate and honest. </p>
<p>If I could supplement with a full sentence, I’d say he has a strong moral compass and has used it multiple times to save a bad situation from getting worse.</p>
<p>His GPA, standardized tests, and ECs will tell the rest of the story.</p>
<p>empathic, creative, intellectual</p>