Personal Life & College Empathy?

Paying for College
1

<p>I need help. This is not a pitty poor me post. This is a what should I do post. I apologize if this post is scatterbrained, I wrote it in a hurry.</p>

<p>So, recently my life just took a major downward spiral. My father is abandoning my family. He is an abusive man, both verbally, physically, and financially. There are pictures, police reports, and vocal recordings to prove this. </p>

<p>This a leaves my near minimum wage earning mother to take care of 2 college aged children. She cannot afford an apartment for my brother and I. </p>

<p>Next year is my freshman year and I have already sent in my deposit. My dad was going to pay the 10k for me to go. </p>

<p>My question is what should I do? No matter what, I will be going to college. I will forever regret it if I don't. Should I email my college with my the recent events in my life and see if they can help with grants and such? Or should I just forego this and try to line up the loans? I'm panicked and scared and I really need some help. Thanks to anyone that can help</p>

2

<p>What kind of school are you attending? If it’s a private school with private aid, I would apply for a revaluation of need ASAP, like tomorrow, and include anything that you think will prove your story. </p>

<p>If it’s a public, I would call and see if you can find any other options. See if they have any funding left. That and last ditch effort scholarships.</p>

<p>If charges were presses recently, then (I feel really bad even mentioning this option) what about legal ways for forcing your father to pay? I have no idea how anything in law works, especially civil law so I have no idea if that’s an option or not :/</p>

<p>Also, with this change, don’t forget that things might change drastically FA wise next year as a sophomore, so even if you have to take out 10k in loans, this may be the only year to do so, but I’m also worried about the situation your left with, with your brother and lack of income :/</p>

<p>I don’t want to suggest this, because it isn’t right for you to have to consider this, but do they have a refund on their enrollment deposit? or an application for a deferral? Depending on how bad the situation is, it might be best to take a year off to get everything sorted out and worked out, including getting the money from your father (Even though I don’t know much, I feel their should be some sort of legal obligation in this situation to help pay) also, once everything’s worked out officially, better aid might be offered (I really, really hope so!)</p>

<p>This really sucks :frowning: I’m sorry. (hopefully that didn’t sound like pity, I just really feel for you :/)</p>

3

<p>You won’t be able to “line up loans”, without a qualified co-signer and your mom won’t likely qualify. </p>

<p>Your mom needs help, too. Can you move into an apt together, work part-time, go to a CC for two years, and then transfer to a local state school? At times like this, you may all need to pull together, otherwise you could all end up with financial problems.</p>

<p>What about your sibling? How will her/his college be paid for?</p>

4

<p>I am attending a public college. My brother has already said that he is dropping out of school. He’s not as academically inclined as I am. I just don’t think I could live with myself without going to college. I love learning and education, my life would be lost if I did not complete this last step. I will be appealing my financial aid. But, should I let the school know about this? How? Should I send things like police reports? My goal is to be able to take some weight off of my mother by trying to be away at school as much as possible.</p>

5

<p>Do you have a school guidance counselor you could ask for help from? Often they can speak directly to the financial aid office and verify the situation while getting information about options.</p>

<p>Community college and a job will help stabilize things for you and your family in the short run, which might be a good thing on its own.</p>

<p>You may need to take the longer view, and prepare to transfer in two years (or even after one or two semesters) to the 4-year college.</p>

<p>Another option is to skip classes for now, take a “gap year” and work fulltime, then reapply as an incoming freshman with a better chance to receive more financial aid given your changed circumstances.</p>

<p>Most of all, I urge you to find someone you trust who is knowledgeable about these kinds of situations, a teacher if not a guidance counselor.</p>

6

<p>Check the financial aid pages at the website of your college/university for a link to the paperwork required to confirm a change in your financial conditions. Usually this is termed “Special Condition” paperwork. If you can’t find it, call the financial aid office and find out what you need to send them. They might be able to help you with this right away, or they might want you to wait for a bit so that they can ascertain that yes, indeed your circumstances have changed and aren’t going to change back.</p>

<p>You should also find out if it is possible to defer enrollment for a semester or a year. That would give your mom more time to straighten out the financial documentation, and for you to find out whether this place will actually be affordable for you given the change in your life.</p>

7

<p>With strong evidence of domestic violence there is a chance of getting your status changed to independent. As the others above has stated, contact the financial aid office and see if this is a possibility. Each case is unique.</p>

8

<p>You should contact your college to see if you can get a second look with your revised financial status. </p>

<p>Your life won’t be “lost” without college. College is not that earth-shattering. College doesn’t guarantee success. I value education, but college isn’t the only way to learn.</p>

<p>You might need to work for a year or two and save up for college, or wait until next year to show lower income and try to get aid.</p>

<p>I would talk to your financial aid office, and your mom, and see how your finances stand. If she can’t afford an apartment for herself to live in, I’m not sure that college should be your top priority just yet. </p>

<p>Good luck. Rough situation for you.</p>

9

<p>I just don’t think I could live with myself without going to college. I love learning and education, my life would be lost if I did not complete this last step. I will be appealing my financial aid. But, should I let the school know about this? How? Should I send things like police reports? My goal is to be able to take some weight off of my mother by trying to be away at school as much as possible.</p>

<p>You don’t have to “give up” college. You may have to “give up” the idea of going away to college because of funding. What state are you in? What is your FAFSA EFC? </p>

<p>*This a leaves my near minimum wage earning mother to take care of 2 college aged children. She cannot afford an apartment for my brother and I. *</p>

<p>Your brother can work and pay his share of the apt and food. Your mom shouldn’t be expected to pay for a 2-3 BR apt for herself and 2 adult children. And if you live there, you can contribute as well. </p>

<p>You may think it will “help” your mom to be away at school, but that may not be true. Giving a school several thousand per year towards room and board, could instead help your mom pay rent and buy food. If you work a lot over the summer, then work part-time during the school year, and commute to a CC, then your earnings can help your mom pay rent/food, while you attend school. </p>

<p>Besides, this is a state school, and most don’t “meet need”. That could mean that even if your EFC is adjusted to a lower number, you’d still have a big gap in funding…so “going away” to college still won’t be affordable. </p>

<p>Did you put that 1 child in the family will be attending college on your FAFSA, or did you put that 2 would be attending college?</p>

<p>Or, you can take a gap year, work a LOT over this next year, help your mom get on her feet, then go to college the following year with an EFC based on mom’s income. Mom’s income may be low enough that your income and savings won’t count at all. How much does your mom earn?</p>

<p>BTW…if your dad is still employed, then your mom needs to get an order of temporary support thru the courts.</p>

10

<p>A divorce can significantly change your FAFSA. From your post I gather your father is no longer with you, is not providing financial support, and isnt helping you with college. The general rule for FAFSA is that you report the income of the parent you live with …your mom. She has to include any financial support she is getting, which is none. I would think your new EFC would be 0. </p>

<p>My situation was much like yours. My parents were split and I lived with my mom who had nothing. I ended up taking on some debts but got a degree in Computer Science and a good paying job. Your life will get better, but it will take some time. </p>

<p>Get a new FAFSA and an explaination of your situation to your college. They should be able to help. Best of luck to you.</p>

11

<p>I’m not sure if her new EFC would be 0. It sounds like the split occured after FAFSA was filed. don’t know if that can change for the coming year. Kelsmom would know. </p>

<p>And, we don’t know what the dad will be ordered to pay the wife for support for a future year’s FAFSA.</p>

<p>Anyway, I think a big problem is that this is a state school, which likely doesn’t meet need no matter what the EFC is. So, how will the OP cover that gap? I just don’t like the idea of giving a school R&B money in this case IF there is a good local alternative and money can be directed to help the mom pay for housing.</p>

12

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<p>Perhaps your life just took an upward turn if you can successfully get your lives together without this man? It may take a year off, or not, but whatever it takes, it seems like it would be a very good thing long term to not be sharing your life with him.</p>