Since you asked about how much to give, I’d suggest you look at a city cost comparison tool online. There are several available, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to link to them. You can then figure what it seems reasonable to spend in your city, and see what that amounts to in the new city. I’d also look to see what the prices for movies are at the multiplex near the campus for a bit of a reality check to see if the cost comparison seems reasonable. I’ve found it very accurate in some cities, but not always.
One of the biggest surprises to me is how much college students spend on coffee and Uber and meal delivery services. I have many students who live less than a mile from campus who Uber every day and walk in with a giant $5 drink. They also think nothing of ordering food delivered while working on group projects and such, and there’s the expectation that everyone will join in. I would have a serious talk with my kid about how to deal with that being a cultural norm and whether you, personally, are okay with your money being spent that way. (I, personally, am not!)
It starts in highschool here. If I go to the Starbucks right near our local high school, it’s jam packed with students. Somehow they can afford it. We are considered high income, and I budget my coffee shop goings. My kids just never did go.
Eating out has become endemic among young people. I’ve been getting there, especially now that we are empty nesters and our last college tuition check had been cashed, but we couldn’t do it if we are out half the time. Bad enough that DH ate out every day for lunch At work. I don’t see how the math is working out because the numbers don’t add up for us.
Sadly, it’s my kids’ biggest discretionary expense. They are careful with buying other stuff but they eat out most of the time. My one son who I’d otherwise frugal tells me no one where he works packs lunch. He does pack maybe once or twice a week, but it’s really being asocial not joining in the carryout, eat out ritual
I worked for a few months at the start of the year in an economically challenged area, and all of my coworkers ate out or called in food. Once in a while, someone brought in leftovers, often from an earlier restaurant meal to heat up. There was a Dollar Tree and super market in a strip mall within a minutes walk, but even getting quick prep food from there hardly happened. These folks weren’t making much money either. I was the crazy old woman bringing her lunch most days.
I don’t want my D to work during the school year (unless it’s an internship). I gave her $300 per month when on full meal plan. I offered to give it to her in a lump sum at the beginning of the semester, but she asked to receive it monthly. I send it to her on the first of every month. She had some saved at the end of the year as she’s pretty frugal. But she’s on full scholarship, so I don’t really care. She has a high paying internship this summer and will be putting most of it into retirement accounts so I’ll keep giving her an allowance next year.
This, from @ccprofandmomof2 is a very important piece of advice: “I have many students who live less than a mile from campus who Uber every day and walk in with a giant $5 drink. They also think nothing of ordering food delivered while working on group projects and such, and there’s the expectation that everyone will join in. I would have a serious talk with my kid about how to deal with that being a cultural norm and whether you, personally, are okay with your money being spent that way.”
We encountered this scenario all the time with our kids. You need to decide if you’re okay with them treating their friends on your dollar, and you need to talk about the implications of participating in a culture where going out is so common that the kids who can’t afford it will be left out.
For my daughter in particular, it was a real education in privilege.
My daughter had a full meal plan but the dining halls were mostly closed on the weekends.
I would load her ID card (which doubled as a spending card on and off campus) when she needed it - it probably averaged to about $75-$100 a month. She had virtually no expenses except weekend food and the occasional Target run since I would provide her things when I visited or she came home. Sometimes she would put takeout on my credit card if they didn’t take the spending card. She wasn’t a Starbucks girl unless she had a gift card from Christmas or her birthday, lol.
@Massmomm I completely get the education in privilege. My daughter told the same stories of kids walking in every day with Starbucks wearing Gym Shark or Lululemon or whatever the really expensive workout stuff du jour is. That happened a little bit at her high school, but definitely more at her college.
She wasn’t jealous, just amazed people would spend that kind of money on that kind of stuff. It warmed my heart, to be honest lol.
We deposited $300 per month when S was a freshman. He never spent it all. After his freshman summer internship, we stopped depositing as he had deposited several $k. Since then his account has kept growing from summer internships, part time job, and Christmas/birthday gifts from grandparents. His spending has also grown (eating out, weekend trips, uber) but his account has continued to grow. We have access to his accounts (at his request to give feedback), and he’s doing quite well.
I did a terrible job in preparing some of my kids for a life of austerity because I so wanted them to have everything, to have the best chance of success. We have enough to bring them into young adulthood but the older ones are getting past that stage and still need work in budgeting and living well within their means to save for the future
In high school, my kids got/get $15 a week, that is lunch money/allowance. When they got to college, they got/get nothing. They are expected to work summers, and all of my daughters babysat during the school year, and most had part time jobs as well. My two oldest worked part time in college, my oldest actually graduated a semester early. She is VERY budget conscious and frugal. My high school students are still making mistakes with eating out, I’m sure eating a steady diet of ramen will break that like it did for my others.
Both kids work for the money during school 6-10 hours a week. That’s plenty of money and barely spends it . We have a certain amount in his accounts like $200. We are linked to his /her accounts. Just easier to transfer if needed. They just each got their own credit card and had a sit down with our young banker to talk to them how to establish credit.
Pro tip
After the first semester reevaluate the “full” meal plan. We made this mistake. Thought the kids would starve if we didn’t buy it…
Well it goes unused alot. Some schools you can “bank” what’s left over but most you can’t. Both kids and one a big dude just didn’t eat 3 meals daily. No limits on what they can get etc. So we went for the less meal plan and both survived!!! Even on that there was left over… Hmmmm.
Once they went to an on campus apartment we went with the pay as you go and it’s way cheaper in the long run…
I provided fun money for my kids from high school to college. It was around $2-300/month, went up to 300 by the time younger one was in college due to inflation. I specifically wanted my kids to work while in college. The deal was if they worked then I would continue with the monthly allowance. They only worked 10-12 hours a week. The reason I wanted them to work was to have something on their resume when they started to look for internship then job. I would say my kids spent 300-400 a month for fun/presents for family & friends/few incidentals, and they saved a portion of their money for big ticket items (like spring break vacation).
This is a good time to teach your kid how to manage money. I don’t agree with “it’s their money, let them figure it out.” No, if you don’t teach them how are they supposed to know? It could be simply teaching them to use a spreadsheet to keep track of “food, utilities, travel, fun, saving” money. By keeping track on a spreadsheet lets them see how much they are spending in each bucket, so they could cut back if necessary ($5 for Starbucks, $20 for sushi). I used to tell them to always put some money away and it is something they have always done. It is a real teaching moment to show your kid how to manage their budget.
I think my kids spent around $200-250 a month when they were living in dorms. They had jobs so it was all their money.
D is off campus now and I really have no idea. She’s always been frugal. Much better with money than I was at that age. We gave her rent money but she says everything else is covered. We’ve asked periodically over the year. I think she typically works 12-18 hours or so. Had a good savings from summer job as well.
“More than likely we will need to set up another bank account local to her college because it looks like her credit union transactions will incur fees in New York.”
I’d highly suggest looking at one of the financial companies that provides easy and free online banking with zero ATM or other transaction charges. My family uses Fidelity but there are other companies as well. Young people (and many of us older people) totally bank online now. You can make deposits with a smartphone, use any ATM worldwide without fees, free online checking, free no fee credit cards with 2% cash back, etc. There is no need to being tied to a regional bank any longer and it makes it super easy when you move, which happens to most students after graduation.
“I don’t want my D to work during the school year (unless it’s an internship).”
From my own experience and that of my kids, I’m firmly convinced that most people manage their time better when their schedule is a little fuller, working more efficiently. I think a 10-15 hour per week job is not only doable but beneficial. Even if the work isn’t directly tied to a future career path, it looks good on the resume and to hiring managers, IMO.
Work experience on a resume might actually help her when she applies for internships. She will have an employment history, and a boss who hopefully can write her a letter of reference.
It seems like $200-300/month is a common range. Are you also paying for things like books and mobile phone or is that expected to come out of spending money?
I’m worried that my son will need new clothes in college because he is still growing. (It seems odd to send a not full grown person out on their own but I suppose this is common for males.)
First of all note that how much he will even want ( vs need) will depend on the culture of his university abd his friends. At My older daughters university the main activity even for the very wealthy social kids involved Greek life parties and a bar with a cheap cover and drinks. People ate in the dorm. Everyone ate in the dorm freshman year except for Sunday night and the “big expensive meal” out was at a place with $10 entrees. For my younger daughter at a school with more of a seemless campus to town integration regular dinners out and Sunday brunches at very pricy places were more common. So it’s hard to know what he will even be intersted in.
As for my kids, they have had credit card privileges since high school with the only limit “ be reasonable”. We are able to be very generous but they were still cautious with their spending when we were footing the bills. Now on their own, they both live within budgets they set for themselves.
I think the amount being discussed really depends on the local. Much different between Beloit,Wisconsin and Manhattan…
Also to me $200-300 /month seems to be a lot of money. They have a food plan for a reason. In our case school is paid for. They have access to our Amazon accounts for books… Hint. Both buy used when they can and this year like all their books our online in pdfs or something .
They get free food at club or activity events also.
Both are very frugal when it’s “their” money. Mine… They have no issue spending… Lol…
If they need anything within reason we will give it to them but they both like their school jobs. I think it’s also important for resume building and for feeling independent and responsible. Both have debit cards also etc.
My daughter would come home for 5 week’s in the winter. Work for 3 then go on a trip for 1-2. She also took off a semester after her study abroad and stayed in South East Asia for 2 month. back packing. When she got back home she already had 3 summer jobs ready to make back the money she spent.
Every family has their own approach and financial situations can vary from family to family. I think just do what works for you and your child’s needs and family’s ability to help.
I know students who pay for everything out of their own pocket with no parental assistance. I also know students who get $1,000 a month in spending money or carte blanche.
We pay tuition, R&B, books. We also paid for travel home for holidays and getting back and forth to school. My parents did the same for me and I’m happy to pay it forward because a) we can afford to do so and b) I want to give my kids the same “no student loans” gifts my parents gave me. We also paid for cell phones. Additionally, we gave our kids $200 a month for incidentals. Out of that, they paid for the occasional meal out, toiletries, haircuts, the occasional concert, etc. They have to work within that budget and they have, even saving some $ in one child’s case which I am fine with. They also worked part time for additional $$. Birthday and Christmas gifts were great times to give them new clothing, a ski pass, money for travel, etc.
Feel comfortable doing what works for you as long as your child is appreciative and as long as you can meet other financial goals.
@doschicos and @thumper I don’t disagree with you in general. But my D doesn’t need to work. And her scholarship program doesn’t want the scholars working if they don’t need to, which is true for most major scholarship programs. Their time is better spent doing research, being leaders on and off campus, interning, and gaining international experiences. These kids have excellent time management, don’t need jobs to help them manage their time, and have no shortage of recommenders and references. That’s one of the benefits of such scholarships. I’m more than happy to give my D a generous allowance so she doesn’t need to worry about a job for fun money. As I already noted, she has a prestigious internship this summer, as do many of her friends in the program, and none of them have jobs.
