Personal Statement... Anyone have time to glance it over?

Applying to College
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<p>Hi :) I'm not sure if I'm writing this correctly, first of all. Instead of listing who I am and what I participated in, I kind of wrote about an experience I had during one of my activities and kind of talked about why I enjoyed that activity so much. Anyone have time to glance over it quickly and tell me if I'm writing my personal statement correctly?</p>

<p>And if there is no "correct" way to write my essay, could someone tell me if it's written well?</p>

<p>Word count is 674... I can try to shave it down, but would colleges notice the length too much?</p>

<p>Thank you!</p>

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<p>pm it to me ill read it later tonight if i get a chance</p>

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<p>Wrong forum. Try:</p>

<p>[College</a> Essays - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/]College”>College Essays - College Confidential Forums) :)</p>

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<p>Oooh, oops! Sorry! Thank you! :D</p>