personal statement for UCLA, UC Berkeley, UCSD and UCI

<p>“Computers”, this word never intrigued me until my revolution period began. All these goes back to when “GOOGLE” was all over the news. I read the news about how this networking site evolved and the two masterminds behind this production. I was so driven by the fact of its foundation that I thought of pursuing a degree in computer science. Ever since, I started to learn everything about computers. The more I wanted to get the knowledge about it, the more I enjoyed the field. I wanted to know more about computers and so I had to learn whatever I needed to, and made a firm decision in my mind just to be a software engineer. As I started understanding more about computers, I developed an interest in it, and always had a dream to innovate some kind of an app, an app that would give you a bunch of alternative roads when there is a heavy downpour and the original road is completely blocked or also during the earth quake.
After completing my high school, we had to move from India all the way to the land of opportunities, USA. Everyone has difficulties in their lives. Like others, my family was no exception, we did not have enough money to keep our family running due to the conversion of currency, but my dad always told me to be strong in what I do. I had a decent GPA to get into a university there, but according to my dad I was talent oriented and had the ability to work hard, he sent me to USA and wanted me to work in San Francisco, so I had to come over here and start all over. Besides studying, I had to support my family too, so I started finding jobs and I was lucky enough to find one quickly, I had to work in order to keep the house running, also I had always been active in the clubs at my college and always been a part of it. When I was in India, I worked as a volunteer to serve the orphans and help them have proper nutrition, helping someone was a very good and life changing experience. Not only I had to work, but also I had to keep my GPA high enough to get into a decent university here in USA and fulfill my dream of being a computer engineer.
Besides working and studying, I indulged myself in getting the first had knowledge in HTML and CSS. Using those two languages I was able to develop a few websites and plan to learn more languages so that I could be the best at my field. Also, using C++ and object oriented programming I made a project called supermarket billing system which would basically give four options to the customer which included the entire bill report, adding or deleting items, calculating the bill price and exiting out of the system. He/she had to choose either of the options to get the program run further and at last view the total purchase or print the receipt.
I understand the necessity of extracurricular activities, and how they help to shape the life. I always love to go out with friends and play and keep myself busy with sports. I loved to play basketball which is basically a team work which could link directly to the job I would like to do. Teamwork has always been the first priority of mine, as it reduces the workload and helps everyone focus on a particular subject.</p>

<p>guys, do tell me how my personal statement is and if i need some improvements or not.</p>

<p>thanks a lot :) :) </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Please visit the College Essay section of the forums</p></li>
<li><p>Read the warnings not to post your essay online and alternatives to get feekback.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Welcome to the Essay forum. Read the tips at the top. What prompt are you answering? The first problem I see in your essay is that it is disjointed and jumps around too much and doesn’t flow well. Are you a transfer student?</p>

<p>yes, i am a transfer student. the two prompts i was answering was, what is my intended major and why did i choose it and all the jobs related to it, and the second question was about my personal life and any other skills and accomplishments</p>

<p>Most likely the essay will not be stolen. I think only UCB and UCLA would read the essay, the rest of the UCs read only for scholarship purpose.</p>