Personal Statement - NEED FEEDBACK

<p>I have two versions of my PS. I believe the first version is better and more focused. If you are going to only read one (it is after all a long post), read the first one. If you have suggestions and/or opinions, please offer them. I would like to know if the first PS is more promising as well as how to improve it.</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

<p>PS 1:</p>

<p>I vividly recall opening the large black and white box containing my first computer. It was a 1994 Gateway Pentium desktop computer, which came with a variety of different programs pre-installed. I spent countless hours with my father exploring the capabilities of this home computer through troubleshooting the many errors and discovering the wonders of the Internet. I did not know it at the time, but in addition to the computer itself, each program, utility, and application was a different company’s intellectual property—subject to a specific set of laws which is adhered to by each of the 50 states. It was not until my experience as an Information Technology (IT) Support Technician that I began to understand the complexity of today’s technological intellectual property legal landscape.</p>

<p>I first encountered issues with intellectual property in my capacity as Desktop Support Technician at the ******** Information Technology Department. Armed with a Master's degree in Computer Science, I handle all technology issues for the employees. One day an employee approached me with a request to install accounting software he used at home onto his work computer for commercial use. As a technician, I receive these requests quite regularly and use my expertise to resolve them—only here, the problem had nothing to do with technology. The issue was that our company did not have a license with the software developer; in fact, we had an exclusive license with a competitor. What I first viewed to be as an innocuous request turned out to be a nightmare for both the employee and our company’s legal department. This experience gave me a new perspective of the technology industry in which I was employed. While computer programming operates under a pretty rigid set of rules, I came to realize that the developers and companies that produce these products are bounded by a completely different set of limitations.</p>

<p>As a criminal justice major at ******** University, I am familiar with the law and the legal system. After enduring countless classes implementing the Socratic Method, I have come to understand that the law, unlike computer science, does not have a rigid set of principles and rules. Through my research on criminal laws for my mock appellate brief supporting a criminal's Fourth Amendment protections to unlawful searches and seizures, I learned that sometimes the best argument wins, regardless of whether it is the best result for society. In order to protect the values of free speech, criminal justice, or even open source programming, top quality lawyers that can effectively understand and effectively convey the true reality in certain situations are necessary. Patent trolling for example has become a large burden on courts across the globe as they are being constantly flooded with frivolous patent law suits. By combining a law degree with my background in computer science and technology, I will be well-situated to tackle all of today's intellectual property legal issues.</p>

<p>Based upon my concerns, law school is the next step for me to be able to someday help protect legitimate patents while helping to drive technical innovation. I know that the research and writing skills I gained as a criminal justice major combined with my expertise and passion for technology will lead me to success in law school and eventually as an Intellectual Property lawyer. ******** Law School, located in ****- a beacon of high technology--is the perfect place for me to continue my education in this area of law.</p>

<hr>

<p>PS 2:</p>

<p>I can't say I know when I first considered becoming an intellectual property attorney, but I can say something else with certainty; I’m a tech geek. Beginning in my early youth, I used to sit down beside my father as we troubleshooted the seemingly never-ending problems that plagued our 1994 model Gateway Pentium 133MHz desktop computer. A misplaced configuration file, a corrupted driver, we sat hours upon hours each night, our eyes glued to the screen, brainstorming new solutions. My father embraced introducing me to the computer, perhaps hoping to recreate the joy he felt after his father brought back the first commercially available calculator. What my father didn’t know was that he had created a monster. Problem solving computers was perhaps my favourite thing to do growing up. Naturally, this hobby evolved and I spent much of my teenager years teaching myself web-based programming. While my college friends sent their new top of the line laptops back to Apple for repairs, I was repairing computers on my own.</p>

<p>But when it came time to go to college, I strayed away from my love of computers. While I continued my own technical education within the confines of my dorm room, I kept it mostly outside the classroom, and I attribute much of this to how I grew up. My family has always put a premium on one’s ability to articulate thoughtful arguments. I grew up surrounded by brothers and parents bursting with opinion and dissent. I was an observer, a child muted by the intensity of his family. My older brothers created their own opinions and empowered them with intensity of teenage rebellion and hostility. There was simply no place for a kid, or even a young teenager, in a debate over abortion, healthcare, or war. It was these dinner conversations as a silent spectator that entrenched in me the importance of utilizing one’s own voice. I longed for it.</p>

<p>Intrigued by the legal and socio-economic implications of our criminal justice system, I decided to pursue a degree in criminal justice *<strong><em>UNDERGRAD</em></strong> University. It wasn’t until then that I learned how to develop my own voice in both written and oral form. I could speak! I took a number of courses on law and the legal system. Many of my professors used the Socratic method and I tested my ability to develop cohesive arguments on the spot. Distanced from the formulaic algorithms of a computer program, I learned to appreciate clear and concise writing--the words of a sentence, the progression of the paragraph, the finality of an essay. Infusing my voice and thought processes into a brief or a paper was what I most enjoyed in my undergraduate studies. On a more personal level, it was meaningful to finally have a voice of my own to contribute. </p>

<p>Yet I found myself still yearning for a more formal education in computers and how they work. After studying the social sciences in college, I decided to fully launch myself into the study of computers. Over the last year and a half I have been working towards a Masters Degree in Computer Science at **** University. During this period, I have come to the realization that I would like to spend my life in the field of electronics and computers in some form or another. My classes have taken my understanding of how computers work to an entirely new level. In a recent class on Computer Architecture, we discussed Moore’s Law—the fact that the number of transistors on computer chips doubles every 18 months—and its future implications. Last year in a Computer Networks class, I created and successfully tested a unique network protocol that is fully resistant to malicious attacks like a man-in-the-middle attack. These stimulating courses have supplemented my more practical daily work as a Desktop Support Technician at the ********* Information Technology department. What I find most appealing in my coursework and my IT work has been the process of problem solving. The study of computer science in its most basic and practical form is taking a task and configuring a computer or related technology to handle or solve this task. With each new problem or task, I have relished researching and discovering the solution. But this central feature of my current studies is also its most limiting aspect. There is always a problem and there is always a solution, but there is little room for any individual voice in this paradigm. </p>

<p>As much as I enjoy diving into the underpinnings and structural theories of Computer Science, I starve for a profession where I can employ my technical knowledge in a way that allows me to use the voice I’ve developed over the years. As an Intellectual Property lawyer, I hope to use my voice in a way that helps protect and drive technical innovation. Moreover, I hope to employ my voice and writing skills in a way that utilizes my interest and education in computers and related technology. ******** Law School, located in *****—a beacon of high technology--is a perfect place for me to hone in on skills necessary for me to work in this area of law.</p>

<p>Anyone? 10 chars</p>