Hello. I have started writing my personal statements and the struggle is real :((((
It tells me to write a 800 word biography that describes what has shaped my life and helped me become who I am today.
My parents own a small convenience store, and I have worked there all summer and I was planning to write about my experiences there and what I have noticed about different people and made me become more thoughtful of a person.
However, I have read some of other people’s essays and they talked alot about their achievements creating a non-profit organization, traveling across the world, etc.
I think I have some achievements that I can highlight, and they might impress colleges but I don’t think it really shows who I am as a human being.
It’s supposed to be a PERSONAL statement-- all about what shaped you as a person, and what type of person you want. It’s not a resume, it’s a chance to look beyond the statistics and the people who have shaped their lives around that college application.
This one line: “what I have noticed about different people and made me become more thoughtful of a person.” makes me like you already.
In your Personal Statement you may do things and learn stuff, but the essay itself can’t be about learning or doing–it must be about what kind of person you are. That is, a successful Personal Statement will use specific instances and stories (it’s a narrative essay, after all!) to reveal larger truths about you as a person. Whether the story is about rescuing starving children from Pyeongyang or learning to tie your shoes doesn’t matter nearly as much as what the story reveals about you. That’s the beauty of it.
Your personal statement sounds very good in that it tells something about you that cannot otherwise found in the application and it tells something that has helped to form your personality and outlook on life. Bravo. IMO people who use the essay to rehash accomplishments found elsewhere on the application are wasting an opportunity to let their unique voice shine.
800 is quite lengthy I can’t think of a college that does that, offhand. But don’t let others essays lower your standards or shrink the possibilities. The essay is not supposed to be an overt brag sheet. You idea is fine but just a bit narrow in scope from the prompt. They are looking for a bit broader view than what you did last summer in the prompt, right? However, that can certainly be a focal point.