<p>My family and I have just relocated to this European city not less than a year ago.</p>
<p>I'm currently a first-year undergraduate student at a less-than-average international university somewhere in Europe. I feel that my abilities are not used to their full potential, that the amount of money my parents are spending for tuition is not justified, and that I would be better off somewhere else, studying the subject I am most interested in: oriental studies (more particularly Japanese Studies). The university I'm in right now currently offers a very small range of majors.</p>
<p>I am thinking of applying to one of the top universities in the United Kingdom that offers Japanese Studies (University of Leeds).</p>
<p>However, my father, being the family-centered man that he is, is against the idea of sending us somewhere else. He is very firm about this matter; he said he wants to spend quality time with us his children while we're still young. He said studying away from home would only be worth it if the university is a top-tier one, such as Oxbridge.
While I do respect his notion, I still think that there should be a time when we are allowed to do things we enjoy independently, as long as it does not pose a major damage to anyone.</p>
<p>I have chosen to apply to the United Kingdom, so that it would still be in Europe, where I currently live.</p>
<p>However, I am very afraid to open the topic of applying to a UK university to my dad. I believe that I would be able to further grow somewhere else (where every money spent is worth the quality education), studying the subject that interests me most, yet I understand my father's feeling of wanting to have his children by his side. How do you think I should go about this?</p>
<p>ADad, thank you for the reply. Yes, originally I have thought of applying to Oxford under their BA Oriental Studies -- Japanese Studies for 2008 entry. I was planning to apply next year, September 2007, when I am already in my sophomore year. However, as I was reading through various information through the web about applications, it seemed to me that Oxford favors applicants with A-levels and IB.
Although I have achieved the top grades I have, I don't think my qualifications would make me a competitive candidate. Here is a related thread I have posted weeks before: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=249523%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=249523</a>
I have asked several colleges of Oxford whether my qualifications are acceptable, and St. Anne's and Pembroke replied, telling that I am. Still, wouldn't candidates with stronger qualifications such as the IB, A-levels, SAT, European leaving-certificates have a better chance of getting in, compared to me? And there are students who have high marks on the IB and A-levels that get rejected--I'm just not very confident with simply having a Filipino high school diploma and two years of American university studies.
That's why I'm thinking of applying next year (for 2007 entry) to the University of Leeds, where I might gain admission. It offers the field of study I am most interested in, and it's still regarded a very good university.</p>
<p>cheers, thanks for your reply as well. I have looked through the SOAS, but I read in the web site that although they accept international students with qualifications other than IB and A-levels, the "school-leaving qualifications of some countries are not recognised by SOAS as meeting its minimum entrance requirements." and I think my country is included in this they category. Although I have already sent an email to the admissions office, asking if I meet the minimum entry requirements, they told me that they "are unable to answer individual entry requirements at this stage." I have to ask at a later time. :)
it's not that my father thinks I am a child, but he just don't want to let go of me--yet.</p>
<p>As a person who both went far away to college and now has a son who is (somewhat) far away, I understand your position and I sympathize with you. But I am not your dad. </p>
<p>If you just uttterly disregard your dad's wishes, and only apply to Leeds, you are inviting conflict rather than seeking common ground. What would be wrong with aplying to several top schools, including Leeds? How can you be certain that you won't get into any schools that your dad would approve of? And, if you don't get into other top schools, then you are in a position to say to your dad: "xyz university (where you do get in) is the best available to me, I tried your idea of applying to top schools in good faith." If you just refuse even to consider his ideas and point of view, then why should he consider yours?</p>
<p>I think you are lucky, too, in that your dad at least wants the best schools for you. I know of parents who simply tell their children that they must go to the local/state university, period, even if the children are or perhaps would be admitted to top places elsewhere.</p>
<p>If your parents are financing your education, then the bottom line of an out-and-out conflict is going to be that you have to do what they say unless and until you have the money to do any different. So, in that situation, IMO it is in your interest to avoid conflict and, instead, to try to work with your parents--as well as patiently, respectfully and persistently to explain your point of view.</p>
<p>following on ADad's comments ... and to pursuade your parents you need to understand their concerns from their viewpoint and figure out ways to answer those concerns. For example, we are concerned that situations will crop up that you can not handle while being so far from home ... OK, a reasonable concern ... you reply might be ... "I understand, and that is a reasonable concern; is there a way fo rme to show you now, while I'm living at home, that I can manage my life independently and can handle tough situations?" Or maybe, we do not think London is safe ... and you inquire about safe in what way ... walking alone at night, terrorists attacks, getting robbed ... and then investigate the concerns and try to alleviate their fears. The punch line ... understand their concerns, don't argue with them but provide information to alleviate their fears. Hopefully this will help. Good luck!</p>
<p>Leeds is hundreds of miles from London and has never been attacked by terrorists that I know of. There are 60 million people in Britain and 52 million of them don't live in London. You can quite happily live here and never go near the capital.</p>
<p>I agree that the best strategy would be to apply to transfer to all the universites mentioned including Leeds. When students apply to colleges in the US, they certainly don't know if they will be accepted but there is no harm (except to ones ego) in trying.</p>
<p>My friend has a son at Leeds this year for a study abroad. It's a University about 3 hours from London with 32,000 students. I do not know the size of the other places but perhaps the Dad thinks it's too large a school. Now that would be a concern of mine!</p>