Picking a College, Issues with GF

College Search & Selection
1

<p>Okay, so here is a quick story about my situation, I would like some guidance on what to do.</p>

<p>I was accepted to all 5 colleges I applied to, a good feat, I should be proud, but an issue quickly arose when this happened. My top college choices were either West Chester University, or University of Delaware. West Chester is close to home, and University of Delaware is a very good college and I was very happy to get accepted there, I was surprised I did. </p>

<p>Now, I really want to go to UD, it took me a while to make a choice, and I told my Girlfriend (of 3 years). Here is the issue. She is also going to UD, for lacrosse, and she thinks that me going to UD would be a bad idea for the relationship and just when I thought I had made my definitive choice, it got hard. I switched to WCU. Now, we made a deposit to both colleges, and now I am in a sticky situation again. I still got enrolled into UD on accident, but, I like my room mate that I got at UD a lot better we both are very alike and have a lot of similar qualities, and its making me regret choosing WCU.</p>

<p>Nothing is set in stone either, I can still enroll into UD and go there. I made my choice and am going to go to UD and I have not told my girlfriend yet, but, at the same time, I felt extremely stupid for letting my girlfirend impede on my decision of college and short changing myself into a different college that is not as prestigious. Did I make the right choice? I am nervous to tell my girlfriend I'm going to UD now, especially since I move in in 3 weeks.</p>

<p>Edit - I also imagined that I never had her as my girlfriend and what choice I would make, and it was MOST DEFINITELY UD. Is this a sign that I should just let her know and not really care about the consequences?</p>

<p>She thinks that it'll affect the relationship badly and make the college experience worse for us, on the flip-side, her dorm complex is a 15 minute walk away from mine so making separate lives would be easy I feel and whenever we needed each other, we are a 15 minute walk away.</p>

2

<p>First off, double depositing is WRONG! Were you aware that a college (or both) could withdraw your admission if they knew? That aside, please do not let your girlfriend influence your decision. But you are playing with the logistics at these schools…enrollment numbers, roommates, wait lists, etc… Make a decision- YOUR decision and no one else’s. good luck!</p>

3

<p>I had no idea honestly, about double depositing. It doesn’t help that I’m the first and youngest child of 5 siblings to actually get in and go to college, and me and my parents were clueless on the admissions process.</p>

4

<p>You are young, and have many years to compromise with and for your partner. If you and your gf are meant to be, it will either work now or or maybe later on. Enjoy your college experience in the school that feels right to you. She made her decision about her future, now you make yours. If that decision breaks you up, then chances are it would not have worked in the long haul anyways. College is all about new experiences and change. Good luck!</p>

5

<p>Time to wake up and smell the coffee. When a girlfriend tells you she doesn’t want you to attend the same college because it would be “a bad idea for the relationship”, she’s telling you she wants to feel free to consider other opportunities at UDel while keeping you on the back burner at West Chester. Go to the school you prefer, let West Chester know immediately so they can fill your spot with some poor slob whose been on the waiting list all summer, and start reassessing your romantic relationship.</p>

6

<p>Your gf chose her college, you choose yours.</p>

7

<p>GO TO UD. The guy above said it best, her saying it’ll negatively affect you to BE TOGETHER is basically just saying you shouldn’t be together. Go to UD, make your choice for you, live your life the way you want to, and do what makes you happy. Not her.</p>

8

<p>Go to UD. Why wouldn’t she want you there? That doesn’t make any sense to me. But, it doesn’t matter, because DON’T DECIDE based on your gf, decide based on where you wanna go in life</p>

9

<p>Do what you want but your education and career should be first. Do not limit it because of her or based on what she wants. Girlfriends are not more important or valuable than your college education and experience.</p>

<p>You have to be a idiot to believe otherwise.</p>

<p>Maybe in your late 20’s or early 30’s finishing a degree then the time invested in a relationship makes sense to protect. She’ll be more supportive and loyal as well at that age.</p>

<p>At 18? She will not even be the same person in 4-6 years. Focus on the education. Whatever she reacts to decides is just that. So be it and let her be.</p>

10

<p>Reading between the lines:

  1. Your GF wants a fresh start as she goes off to college.
  2. You sense this but do not accept it.
  3. She is either hoping to keep you on the back burner or she just doesn’t know how to break up with you.
  4. Going to the same college risks starting college with relationship drama.</p>

<p>My advice:

  1. DON’T hang on. Teen relationships don’t need to be to be “forever.”
  2. Let her GO graciously. Give her space without any drama.
  3. MOVE ON too. Don’t sit around waiting for her to come back.
  4. Enjoy your time in college and the new relationships you’ll build there.</p>
11

<p>Love your answer MommaJ.</p>

12

<p>Agree that MommaJ summarized it perfectly. It’s great news that your UD dorm is 15 minutes away from hers, because you can be a freshman without running in to her unless you want to.<br>
I would suggest researching UD clubs and activities to start thinking about how you want to spend your time.</p>

13

<p>

</p>

<p>Or put the moves on her best friend or new roommate and have a little fun with it. </p>

<p>LOL!</p>

14

<p>Thanks a lot everyone who answered! A lot of what you guys said is what I figured, I’m not a clingy type and I kind of expect the relationship to crumble when college is in affect, but thanks again for the input!</p>

<p>I also had no idea about double depositing and how bad it is I actually looked it up when I saw the post, I’m lucky that both UD and WCU are cooperating with me and I let WCU know ASAP that I am de-enrolling</p>

15

<p>MommaJ is right.</p>

<p>First off, double depositing is WRONG! Were you aware that a college (or both) could withdraw your admission if they knew</p>

<p>I doubt a public school would withdraw admissions over this. Maybe an ivy would, but I’ve never heard of an ivy doing it either. I think it’s a paper tiger threat that’s out there.</p>

<p>Just tell your GF that you’re going to act like you’re at two different schools…not see each other during the week…you’re going to develop your OWN social life, and maybe you’ll get together a couple of times a month…if YOU have time.</p>

16

<p>Maybe I’m a middle aged guy now, but I remember the golden rule about teenage romance: </p>

<p>The best way to end a teenage romance is to talk about the relationship. </p>

<p>It goes from fun to serious, and 18 way is too young to be serious. Heck any age is too young to be serious. </p>

<p>Listen to the moms here about developing your own social life, but don’t say a word to your GF unless you WANT it to end. Just live and let whatever happens happen. </p>

<p>I was only half joking with respect to the best friend or roommate. You can’t develop a healthy relationship unless you are comfortable being alone. That’s true for her too.</p>