<p>The last time I stayed on campus was during parents orientation last August, and now, Im dying to see how my S is doing in his new environment with my own eyes. I asked him if he would mind having his mom over there for a couple of days, and he said its ok with him (but not excited about the suggestion). Somehow I feel that is not a good idea to go there this soon. Has anyone had an experience like his? Was it bad or good? Should I wait until next semester that I have the excuse to go for my Ds final decision?</p>
<p>Last year we visited our freshwoman about mid-October. She was hesitant, but happy when she saw us. The visit was really short - mainly taking her and a friend to dinner. We also saw her for a few minutes the next morning and then left. We expected a bit more like a tour of the campus, etc. We got about 15 minutes of that. I suspect she just did not want intruders into her new world.</p>
<p>Does your child's school not offer a Parent/Family Weekend?</p>
<p>If your S is lukewarm, I don't suggest going. It may be that while he loves you a great deal, he needs more time without you so he can continue to adjust without feeling he's leaning too much on you for support or without his getting too homesick, which happens to some students when they see their parents.</p>
<p>If there is a Parent/Family weekend -- something most colleges offer -- that would be the time to go, if that's OK with your S.</p>
<p>Just don't take it personally if he would rather have more time to flex his wings. I remember having my mom visit in college at what was a bad time for me. I was doing a lot of things then with my boyfriend, and I preferred being with him, and I'm sorry to say that I was irritated with Mom and showed it. </p>
<p>I think that for parents, now is the time for us to learn to respect our kids' boundaries. Sooner than we can imagine, our kids will be completely out of the nest and will have their own families. We'll have to be even more careful then to visit at times that are convenient for them. The college visits are good practice for our learning how to be loving and emotionally close without having our kids feel crowded.</p>
<p>Fall is so much about settling in and making friends, but sometimes when cold winter weather rolls in, especially after the new year, enthusiasm wanes and kids welcome a parent visit. I have visited my daughter two different Februarys and it has gone well.</p>
<p>The only way you can go for "a couple of days" is during parents weekend. There will be other parents everywhere and he might even show you around.
Did you check if they have it at his school?</p>
<p>They have, but it's the same weekend of my younger D's band festival (her last).</p>