<p>Hi, this is a little bit long but I could use some advice. </p>
<p>My son is finishing up 10th grade. He is doing very well academically with mostly honors courses (93 GPA). He is extremely socially impaired and has been since grade school. He wants friends, but as he expresses it, "things never work out because of my mistakes." He endured bullying in middle school. He does have one long-term friend who he keeps at arm's length (he comes over maybe once every 2 months and they seem to have a great time). My son seems to need to prepare himself up for the commotion and break in routine of having someone over. </p>
<p>We have been monitoring his level of anxiety and depression with the pediatrician. I think it is time for more intervention in that area as those two issues seem to be getting worse and will be discussing that with them. </p>
<p>My son says he can't focus and often thinks things will never get better, he will be a lonely outcast forever. I keep telling him he will find his people in college, if we choose the right place. But I wonder if that will be enough, without some support.</p>
<p>He has never been diagnosed with a disability (we have not had him tested). Our pediatrician and social worker said last summer that a diagnosis beyond social anxiety may not be that useful at this late date. My son says he doesn't really want a diagnosis (I think he doesn't want a label, he's tried so hard for so long to be 'normal'). </p>
<p>I am questioning now whether this is the right way to go. Would a formal diagnosis of social but not intellectual impairment (presumably somewhere on the autism spectrum) be covered by ADA rules and thus be of any use in obtaining accommodation for him in college, when he does not appear to need academic accommodation? If college does not start off well, he will be easily discouraged. I think that early nonacademic living and social support will be essential to getting him started on the right foot.</p>
<p>Any and all advice welcomed. Thank you.</p>
<p>What type of accommodations in college did you have in mind? You may want to search the forum for colleges that have services for students who are diagnosed on the Autism spectrum. I know there have been discussions about the subject.</p>
<p>Thanks and also to those who have PM’d.</p>
<p>I have read your original post, and I my heart aches for your son.</p>
<p>We have had a recent experience checking out various colleges on the “Colleges that Change Lives” list. After reading what seems like nothing but college information for the last few years, visiting some of these schools has been fascinating. We recently toured Beloit College (Wisconsin) and Earlham College (Indiana) – and after having witnessed many, many college campuses, these two seem to be different. </p>
<p>What we are looking for in colleges are friendly, accepting students. As parents, of course we would like the academics to be good. But in the back of my mind, I want my son (on the autism spectrum) to have as positive an experience in college as possible. We think we may have found the right place in Earlham College – but we still have a lot of searching to do. </p>
<p>Besides checking out information on College Confidential, I regularly check out student reviews of colleges on Cappex and studentreviews.com. When I see students regularly talking about how friendly their fellow students are, THEN I start paying attention to things like academics, partying, study abroad programs, etc.</p>
<p>I really do think that it’s possible to find a place where our kids will have more positive social experiences than they have had in high school. After all, college is a place kids have CHOSEN to come to – unlike high school, where they HAVE TO go. If kids have CHOSEN to go to a college where friendliness and acceptance of others is the highest factor, then there’s a good chance that if they are socially adept, they are accepting of others – and if they are not socially adept, then my son will have lots of guys just like him to hang with!</p>
<p>Thanks for your post! I agree with your assessments 100%. Our pediatrician really thinks my son will be fine if we find the right place for him. After much discussion and thought, we will be proceeding without a diagnosis. So it will be really important to look with our eyes wide open. Our first college visit is this weekend. </p>
<p>I love what I’ve read about Earlham, Hampshire, and Beloit. However, my son wants to major in game programming - it’s what he lives and breathes - so our choices are narrower as a result.</p>