<p>I just want to say that I am deeply grateful for the insightful feedback that I’ve received so far. I am so impressed with the thoughtful, caring and wise contributions! Truly, each poster has made a valuable input, and all of you are very much assisting with the decision process. Thank you!! That said … we’re still in the deliberative mode and so if anyone has any additional thoughts you’d like to share, they’d be more than welcome!</p>
<p>Just a contrarian view on the athletic side. Sometimes, the reason we play a sport is not to total up the minutes on the field at the end of the season. Sometimes, the reward comes from the striving, working and being pushed to make yourself better. It may be that your son will find it more rewarding to get less PT (especially early) at a stronger program because that is where he will will push himself to be the best he can possibly be. There are lessons to learn from that.</p>
<p>I’ll add some ideas to the excellent ideas already presented. First, if your son is sure he wants to go to law school, then playing D1 at a less academically challenging school might be a good fit, because law schools emphasize GPA (assuming the D1 school is at least average academically). Also, based on experience with my sons’ teams, D1 soccer players tend to outperform the general student population in the classroom. Many D1s will provide free tutors, early class registration, and similar perks that can boost GPA.</p>
<p>Second, how much of a “jock” is your son? As Ohiodad noted above, many young men absolutely love the challenge of pushing themselves athletically to become the best they can become. For that type of athlete, the potential of overachieving likely outweighs any fear or regret for sitting on the bench for a year or two. If your son has that disposition, he might regret not taking his shot at D1.</p>
<p>Third, your son needs to be sure he will be happy with either school if he sustains an injury that prevents him from playing soccer any more. If he is not sure about one of the schools under that scenario, then it’s a big risk to go there. If he is not sure if he would want to attend either school if he couldn’t play soccer, then he might want to explore additional schools.</p>
<p>Good luck with the process! </p>
<p>I would just like to say that programs must be looked at on their own merits. My D chose a D3 school over many D1 schools which had inferior teams in her sport. Be careful about lumping all D1 or D3 together. If money is not an issue, find your best match athletically, socially, and academically without regard to divisions. </p>
<p>Everyone has their own priorities in education, and only you can decide your son’s priorities. That said, just make sure that your son doesn’t have stars in his eyes. There are so many talented athletes who go to D1 schools for bragging rights or just because they think it means that they play for a better sports teams. Then, after a year they are done. They have seen no playing time and there is no chance that they will get playing time in the future. Mind you, it also happens at D3 schools. I just feel that there would be less of an adjustment back to civilian life at a D3 school, and for some, less of a chance that it would happen. So, in choosing, he should pretend that he is not a recruit at all. Which kids does he like the best, which programs or classes best fit his interests, which campus does he like better. </p>
<p>You have the law school angle covered. I would just like to proffer that for an “all purpose” program of study like law, I would ignore it as a consideration. It is correct that virtually the only admissions considerations are GPA and LSATs, but really, how could you project what your GPA would be at two different schools when the GPA variables are so vast – and there is no control group. Unless there is significant grade inflation at one school, or your son will opt for a very simple major available at only one school, my guess is that predicting PGA at the two schools would not be worth the effort. Anyway, we can only hope he will come to his good senses and decide not to go to law school. </p>
<p>Didn’t read through the whole thread. But wanted to add:</p>
<p>The top D3 schools are on par, athletically, with the lower to mid tier D1 schools. Have you asked the coaches about their pre-season exhibition games over the last few years or their spring games? It is common for D1 team to play D3 teams.</p>
<p>Your son may like the idea of playing D1 as a lot of kids in high school talk a lot about where they will be going to school and there is a sense of pride that comes with saying you are going to be a D1 athlete. However, once you go to school and start training that pride all fades and playing in college is playing in college. Most kids just want to play the game.</p>
<p>What are the average travel distances for games? A lot of D3 teams play regional schedules to minimize time away from class (the UAA is the exception) while D1 teams typically travel more.</p>
<p>Assuming the two teams are of similar talent levels, would your son rather play on a 7-9-2 D1 team that may qualify for the conference tournament or a 14-3-2 D3 team that plays in the conference championship game and qualifies for the national tournament? The number of teams that will allow you the opportunity to extend your season and make a run in the D1 national tournament is rather small but at the same talent level you can play for teams that make runs at the national tournament in D3. There is just as much pride in earning a bid to the D3 tournament as their is with earning a bid to the D1 tournament. The kids work just as hard to earn one as they do for the other.</p>
<p>When does he have to decide? Will he be able to make more visits once he is accepted, or is his D1 scholarship and/or D3 acceptance depending on his ability to commit early? I am only thinking that another overnight visit and sitting in on a class or two might help him decide.</p>
<p>I would just add that, as others have said, he should make sure to consider which school he would prefer if he could not play soccer or decides he doesn’t want to play anymore. Several kids I know (both D1 and D3) have quit their sport in college either due to injury, taking up too much time, no playing time, or not getting along with the coach or team. He may really want the big D1 school experience, and will pick that over the smaller D3 school. One of mine picked the Big State U over the cozy smaller school, simply because the small school felt way too much like high school. Good luck!</p>
<p>If my child was choosing between schools, I can’t imagine recommending anything other than going to the one that is is considered academically superior, particularly for what he or she wants to study. Maybe that’s just me. </p>
<p>I’m with @ThankYouforHelp . My kids and I never had a situation where the parents wanted a different school than the student, so I’m not sure how hard I’d push, but it is after all about education, so my conversations would be encouraging the D3 school. </p>
<p>I am at a disadvantage in offering an opinion, because my nature is to try to see both sides of a choice, but I just can’t find the upside in the D1 choice. If money were an issue, and D1 had a full ride, I might answer differently, but you said to take that out of consideration. Barring finances, “I got nothin’.”</p>
<p>This is not intended to be snarky, honestly it’s not, but my reaction is similar to when a nephew wanted to go to a lesser school because his HS girlfriend would be attending there. My reaction was 50 shades of “the GF is unlikely to matter much after Columbus Day, but an education is forever.” It’s obviously not the same situation, but I was reminded of it. </p>
<p>It’s just you, @ThankYouforHelp. 
There are many things to consider: size of school, size of team, location, cost, fit with coach/team. We did not go with the ‘academically superior’ school (which of course is also in the eye of the beholder), which happened to be a D3 school. Also didn’t go with D1. Felt the fit with D2 was best.</p>
<p>One thing I didn’t consider when my daughter was looking at schools was the coach’s personal style in coaching. I met the coaches, and some I liked and some I didn’t, but I didn’t consider if they were the type of coach who would humiliate the players, yell, impose physical punishments. Shortly after she committed, I read an article about a coach at a D1 school that did all that and more, and appeals to the Athletic Director and university president brought no relief. I worried about that for a long time, but it’s worked out. You can’t guarantee the coach will stay, but usually the tone of the program stays the same. I would not have let my daughter play for the coach the article was about, no matter if the school or team was ‘perfect.’ </p>
<p>As a current D1 athlete, I think I could offer some good insight. In high school, all i wanted to do was play d1 soccer Just like you, I had two main contenders. A lower mid-D1 state school, SUNY Stony Brook, and an upper D3 school, Rochester. Ultimately, mainly because of the price, I went with SUNY Stony Brook, but playing D1 definitely played a factor. </p>
<p>I was redshirted my freshman year and did not play a lot as a sophomore. The main reason for this is because most of the team is international. Some, of them are good, most are average and some are bad, but they ALL play over the New Yorkers because they are on massive scholarship.</p>
<p>I always wanted to play professionally and thats great if your son does too! But I have experienced how extremely, extremely rare it is to make it happen from playing college soccer. Only the top players from the top programs have a shot, And even after that, you still need a lot of luck to make it to the draft. Because of this, if you are only going for soccer, you should not expect for a second to go pro.</p>
<p>As a result, I think D3’s offer a better overall college experience because:
- with more time, and a better education, you are more likely to do better in school
- the playing experience is happier and less stressful
- you are more likely to win championships and individual playing honors</p>
Hi everyone … just thought I’d post an update. Despite his father and me gently urging him toward the D3, our son decided that the D1 was his preferred choice. I mentioned this posting, and he eagerly read and considered the advice and opinions of all the posters before he made his decision. We really appreciate the thoughtful and caring inputs. In the end, he put in an application to the D3 as well, so it’s not totally closed off yet. However, D1 signing is scheduled for early February. In my heart I wish he was as enthusiastic about the D3 school as his father and I were, but for whatever reason (and he had a hard time articulating), he was just much more excited about the D1 school. After making his decision in mid November, he has remarked from time to time that he is very happy with that choice. At the end of the day, despite all other factors, I believe the one factor that outweighs all others is where does his heart want to take him, where will he be happiest. I’m sure there will be plenty of big and small hurdles and dilemmas going forward – this is just one step of many – but thank you for helping us navigate this one! 
Update and Cautionary Tale –
What a whirlwind 12 months we have had!! DS committed and signed with the D1. One of the things the D1 coaches told us that we liked was, once a member of their soccer team, always a member of their soccer team. There was no guarantee of play time – you had to continually earn that – but they would never cut you from the team due to an injury or due to performance or for any reason other than for disciplinary action.
Then after DS signed the commitment, the school changed the coaching staff – head coach as well as senior assistant coach. DS was devastated because he (and we) loved the senior assistant coach in particular. The new coach (an outsider to the program) brought in his own brand new recruits and cut DS before the season even began. We were flabbergasted, shocked and disgusted, but we learned the hard way that the signed commitment means NOTHING. We spoke to the coach and he simply explained that he thought our DS was not as good as the new recruits. We reminded him that DS was getting over a temporary injury which meant his performance was not yet back to 100%. Made no difference. We said we knew DS was not guaranteed game time, but couldn’t he still practice with the team and sit on the bench, at least for the year? No. The coach later made other devastating cuts from the team and in retrospect we were almost glad DS was given the news sooner rather than later.
DS immediately reached out to the D3 coach, who immediately replied that he was still interested. Problem was, freshmen weren’t allowed to transfer until after the full year. So DS, good for him, buckled down on his studies and achieved excellent grades, and he was the captain of his intramural soccer team. He reached out to other coaches and received some significant interest. He applied to transfer to two D3 schools, but had to wait in limbo until late spring before he knew for sure that he would be accepted. After lots of deliberation, he ended up choosing the “other” D3 school and now he is finally playing his first college soccer season.
Lessons? It’s a cutthroat business at all levels, especially at the D1 level. Unfortunately, you can’t count on ANYTHING – the coaches, the university/college, your health/injuries, etc. Advice? Don’t get wedded to a particular coach. Don’t fully rely on anything they tell you. Understand that lots of things can change. Choose a school that you think you’ll love even without playing the sport and especially if playing the sport is important to you, continue to nurture your relationships and connections.
My personal advice and hope is, even though the world will give you plenty of reasons to be cynical and you need to be a bit of a realist for self-preservation, please don’t stoop to the lows that you can witness. No matter what you witness in others, as to yourself, be upstanding, do the right thing, be kind, honor your commitments and strive to be compassionate and understanding. I’m a bit surprised but very pleased that through it all, my DS still has understanding and compassion for everyone involved in this saga.
wow, that is a brutal story. Sorry your son had to deal with that. That D1 coach sounds like a jerk, so hopefully your son has a better experience at his new school. Thanks for the update. I can’t believe they didn’t even give him a chance to practice with the team for a while. That’s crazy.
@SoccerMomGenie wow, tough story but that’s great that your son persevered and ultimately found a better situation. Thanks for the follow up on how things ended up. The D1 coach behaved poorly in my opinion in not even giving him a chance, but it does reinforce the idea of choosing a school not a coach, because coaching is a high turnover job.
Kudos to your son for sticking with it in what must have been a heartbreaking situation! Thank you for sharing his story. Our son plays at a D1 level and fortunately has had a great experience, but this is a great warning for those who are just starting out!!!
Correction to my last post- our son plays D2
And it is a good reminder that coaches move around. A lot. Several of the coaches my daughter talked to during recruiting have already left their positions. Asst Coach for daughter’s team left after two years (daughter really liked her). Dartmouth fired woman’s lax coach after 24 years (which no one saw coming) and there are two new assistant coaches, so I don’t know if the others left or were terminated.
Pick the school. Nice coach is a bonus.
SMG,
This is a tough story, but honestly, it (or a spin on it) happens with some degree of frequency. What makes your story stand out is your DS. Many kids look at the obstacles and decide “so be it.” Your son decided he wanted to play, looked for an opportunity, made sure his academic house was in order and is now doing what he loves. I hope he remembers that perseverance for his career. In forty years, he probably will tell the story about keeping at it to his son (probably not a bad thing for the injury, either).
Sharing the story is brave and helpful to those going through the process. These coaches (particularly D1) are under a lot of pressure to win and winning often takes precedence. Most soccer coaches don’t get paid a whole lot either. The result is ambitious coaches move on to greener pastures and ones that don’t win get sacked. It seems like the kids are the losers, except for your son who seems to be doing just fine.