Playing with fire? MIT Part 2 Optional Section

Colleges and Universities A-Z Massachusetts Institute of Technology
1

Greetings,

So, I’d like to share something here that might tick a lot of people off, but please bare with me. So, I’m stuck between two things to include in the optional section. One option could be that I answer the “most significant challenge you’ve faced” question, where I write about adapting to American society as an immigrant from a very different country (cliche?) - but I do it using my high school memoir, which was rather artfully crafted than presented in a formal-essay form. It is 800 words long.

The second option, the arrogant one, is where I pretty much sound like a scared applicant trying to chip in his last words of wisdom to the admissions officer for reconsidering the applicant if he chooses to neglect the application due to a lack of desired statistical records. And I’m pretty sure that the admissions officer will either completely trash my application because of this, or it might have some positive effect on the decision. Now don’t get me wrong I respect all those who worked hard to get where they got, and I’m not placing myself above anyone else. Rather I speak for my own self. Here it is:

I’d like to present the reasons as to why I believe my statistics may not represent who I really am today.

With all due respect to those who have been accepted as a result of their achievements and accomplishments, I believe that my application is not an accurate reflection of my individual potential. As great of a weight as statistics carry in the process of admissions, I believe that they are mostly a measure of an individual’s past dedication and competency to a range of practical and intellectual tasks, rather than a clairvoyant indicator of one’s potential as a student and as an individual. Of course if there are no such filters then there’d be a far greater number of incompetent students being admitted, and then no higher-learning institution could stand out as a collection of honorable and educated individuals. But what I’m trying to say is that even though I may have performed poorly in the past in the key indicators such as the GPA, standardized testings or the hours of extracurricular activities, they are a poor reflection of what I aim to do in the future as a college student.

For example, I did not do so well on my AP US History test, or on my AP Language and Composition test. Does this mean I’m incompetent in those subjects? I don’t see it as such. Rather, I see it as my inability to work under pressurizing testing conditions put forth to me by the clock and general pressures of test taking.

Then, there are those with over 50,000 community service hours on their records. This is definitely a great sign of dedication to serving the community. However, it is not the only one. Many things happened over the years that changed my priorities and agendas as for what I want to do in life. And one of those has been a realization that I need to act. This was my essay for Common App, where described my intellectual endeavors since childhood, and my recent realization that learning has no value unless it is put to use. And if I could go back in time, I would definitely participate in extracurricular activities and research projects that I missed out in the past years.

For the future I have great aspirations to become not only an educated individual, but a person capable of bringing about change to societies in need. And those deeds can be best accomplished by receiving top quality education offered at MIT. And regardless of what my statistics may tell about me, I believe that I am competent enough to challenge myself academically and then apply the acquired skills to be an important member of organizations that work to bring about a positive change in modern society.

Ultimately, I will give my best to be a positive influence regardless of whether I’m admitted, but my aspirations for the opportunities I’m going to seize at MIT could only serve to help me in such endeavors. And so please, I ask you to consider what kind of difference my admittance can make for me, for the MIT community, and for the changes I aspire to bring about to this world.

Thank you.

Besides the fact that the admissions officers already know most of my philosophical manifestos that I’ve stated above, what can you tell me about whether I should include this little ‘defense’ at all?

Responses are greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

2

First, let me observe that I do not think like the people in the MIT Admissions Office. However, I think that they and I would agree that this essay will not help you at all.

MIT Admissions does look for potential, rather than exclusively for accomplishments. But you have to give them some concrete indicators of your potential, rather than just saying that you have it, regardless of your GPA, test scores, and extra-curriculars. You don’t have to refer to formal accomplishments. You might not have a paper record of what you have done outside of school. But you must have done something that makes you think you would be good for MIT and vice-versa. Did you build or design anything? Did you work with a group of people to accomplish anything? Did you help explain things to your classmates–this would not have to be formal tutoring

Your first long paragraph is wasted, as it stands.

In your second paragraph, you mention that you did not do well on the AP US History and AP English Language and Composition. The admissions staffers will know, but I don’t know whether you are excusing two scores of 1 or two scores of 4. Since you are an immigrant, maybe you have difficulty composing high-quality English under time pressure, but you have no difficulty with mathematics/physics/chemistry/computer science under time pressure. Blaming your performance on time and exam pressure is a really bad idea. As far as I know, MIT still gives in class exams with time limits.

People with over 50,000 hours of community service on their records? This is not the place for hyperbole. A full-time job is considered to be 2000 hours per year. So you are talking about 18-year-olds who have the equivalent of 25 years of a full-time job. Maybe they had 2 or 3, plus school? Sorry, this is ridiculous.

You can’t turn back the clock. Don’t bother saying that you wish you had done things differently. You can go from where you are. You can also search your actual record for strengths to list and explain, rather than for weaknesses to excuse.

(. . . unless you are totally faking this post, and trying to harm someone who actually is an immigrant applicant.)

Your semi-cliche essay about the difficulties you faced as an immigrant will serve you much better than the above essay.

MIT Admissions staffers and I don’t agree on a whole lot, but I am reasonably confident they will agree (more or less) with my post here.

3

“Now don’t get me wrong I respect all those who worked hard to get where they got, and I’m not placing myself above anyone else.”

Doesn’t really sound like that. I’d set this aside for a day, and then read it, putting yourself in the shoes of someone in Admissions. Do you think he will react positively to this?

4

Nobody is clarvoyant. But if I were a betting person who had to predict which people would be successful, my money would be on the one that seems to have done well in the past. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Someone reading your sample essay would probably be left with the question that if you could have done well, why didn’t you?

5

@ComplexInfinity:
Suppose you were part of a group of adcoms reviewing 10 applications and you only had room to accept one of them (think MIT where less than 1 in 10 get accepted). Nine of the applicants had a strong record of demonstrated achievement. One applicant did not and instead provided excuses.

6

Excuses can work, if they are for students who demonstrably could have done well, but who made a conscious CHOICE to prioritize other things. It happens very rarely, but occasionally, that a student applies who falls into this category. For example, a student may post her who despite a 2340 on the SAT, has a mediocre GPA. A letter of recommendation from a faculty member points out that this kid would not get out of the lab to do all of the work needed in some of his classes and chose to get a couple of patents rather than a perfect (or even particularly good) GPA. That is something that the admissions office may well let slide (or may not depending on the applicant). There is a justification, however flawed, for the student’s decisions.

Really, any university is analyzing the decisions that any applicant took, on the grounds that university comes with even more, and more long-lasting decisions. And that is the problem with excuses. If the students application says, “I took poor decisions in high school where I chose to focus on leisure activities rather than work at my studies, but I will change when I get to an environment where the leisure activities are even more plentiful and interesting, where I have more freedom to make these choices and where the studies are appreciably harder and more time consuming.” If you can evidence why this is true, then you might have a chance, but if the argument is “despite all evidence to the contrary, trust me” then you really don’t have much of a chance and the essay can only hurt you. One last thought, you note that " And if I could go back in time, I would definitely participate in extracurricular activities and research projects that I missed out in the past years." What did you do other than extracurricular activities and research projects? Is there a way in which these decisions were good decisions?

7

Hi all,

Thanks so much for the replies. However, for some reason I never got any e-mail notification about this, and I sent the application during the grace period.Either way, I kinda did regret sending it, thinking about all the applications they get. I’ve realized how I would sound to them, compared to all other applicants. And you all make great arguments against this letter… And I think my biggest mistake was to delay things so much. But I had my reasons, even though I should have still prioritized.

Yeah I doubt I’m being accepted. But that’s alright. When I take over the world, MIT would want me to accept them :wink:

Okay jokes aside, here’s the the final version, the one I’ve sent. Tell me how this sounds. Trust me, it’s quite different from the one above:

I’d like to present the reasons as to why I believe my statistics may not represent who I
really am today.

I believe that my application is not an accurate reflection of my individual potential. As
great of a weight as statistics carry in the process of admissions, I believe that they
are mostly a measure of an individual’s past dedication and competence in a range of
practical and intellectual tasks, rather than a clairvoyant indicator of one’s potential
as a student and as an individual. Even though I may not have performed as well as I would
have liked in the past in the key indicators such as AP and standardized tests or the
hours of extracurricular activities, in my case this is not indicative of what I aim to do
in the future as a college student.

For example, I did not do so well on my AP US History test, or on my AP Language and
Composition test. Does this mean I’m incompetent in those subjects? I don’t see it as
such. Rather, I see it as my inability to work under pressurizing testing conditions put
forth to me by the clock and general pressures of test taking. Recently, I have maintained
persevarance and strengthened my weaknesses by training myself to work under pressurizing
testing conditions. As a result, I scored 270 points higher on my December SAT compared my
October SAT (of the same year). In the future, I will invest great efforts to prepare for
such tests.

Then, there are those with extensive community service hours on their records. This is
definitely a great sign of dedication to serving the community. However, it is not the
only one. Many things happened over the years that changed my priorities and agendas as
for what I want to do in life. And one of those has been a realization that I need to act.
This year I have joined the National Honors Society and the Interact Club to commit myself
to deeds in community service. And if I could go back in time, I would definitely
participate in more extracurricular activities and research projects that I missed out in
the past years.

For the future I have great aspirations to become not only an educated individual, but a
person capable of bringing about change to societies in need. One of my goals is to make
wormhole space-time travel possible, which would allow humans to find home in Earth-like
planets that would support a greater growth of civilizations. I will also contribute to
the development quantum dot technology, where we can bend properties of matter to our will
and optimize the efficiency and intricacy of our designs. Those deeds can be best
accomplished by receiving the top quality education only offered at MIT. Regardless of
what my statistics may tell about me, I know that I am competent enough to challenge
myself academically and apply the acquired skills to work as an important member of
organizations such as AeroAstro to bring about a positive change in modern society.
Ultimately, I will give my best to be a positive influence, even if I am not admitted.
However, the opportunities I’m going to seize, the resources I am going to utilize, and
the people I am going to collaborate with at MIT could only serve to greatly help me in
pursuing the endeavors I envision for the future.

And so please, I ask you to consider the difference my admittance can make for me, for the
MIT community, and ultimately to this world.

Thank you.

8

Oh and if it makes a difference, here are some of my quick stats:

4.3 GPA
2060 SAT
10 AP classes (cumulative)
9 Extracurr. activities, including 2 sports, National Honors Society, Harvard Model Congress, and 2 clubs that I established.
Few regional recognitions/awards

There’s more but that’s irrelevant.

So yeah I have a lot to complain about. Also, seriously, scr*w the SATs. Darn wealth filters. I scored 270 points higher on SAT I took 1 month after the first because I simply took many practice tests. Did my intelligence boost by 270 points over that period? No. Test-taking - yes, but not “reasoning,” as they claim. And I could have done better if not for all the anxiety and distractions during the test. But I digress.

9

I may be completely wrong about this…
but…
I beleive that alot of schools tend to overlook the writing section a bit… they dont think its a very good determinant of writing capabilities… rather they look towards scores in ENG classes and essay composition…

At least Im hoping this is true… i got a 2100/2400 but 1460/1600, so Im hoping they’ll disregard the 640 in W (LOL) in lieu of the 800 in Math. Cuz isnt that what MITs all about?

Anyways, if your W score is a bit low, dont worry too much.
Dont worry at all either ways lol, theyre not much you (we) can do at this point, might as well accept impending rejection, and look to decent state schools (in my case, stony brook) :smiley:

10

@ComplexInfinity‌ tell me how your decision is on march 14, if it actually works, i guess some of my friends wont be so desperate next year

11

@boomboom123 Pi day, huh? Way to ruin the day for 93% of the kids.

Well, I can’t tell you what to expect. I don’t think it’s impossible, but it is not likely either.

Time will tell.

12

Your GPA and some of your credentials are better than I would have guessed based on the essay you started this thread with. Good luck to you.

13

If you were better at testing this wouldn’t have been an issue …

14

Why did you bump up this thread from almost two months ago just to tell the OP they should have been better at something? O_O That’s not something they can help.