please critique essay - penn/nyu

<p>as title says, </p>

<p>post here / pm me your e-mail and I will send you my essays :)</p>

<p>If you are an expert, please be critical of the essay content, and if you can help with grammar that will be greatly appreciated. However, at this point my main concern is my content, so please don't give me a bad judgment for poor grammar!</p>

<p>Thanks in advance</p>