Please critique my common app essay!

College Essays
1

<p>Please critique/help me edit my essay!
Post here or pm me and i'll pm it to you!
I'll critique yours too if you want.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<ul>
<li>Eric.</li>
</ul>

2

<p>I’ll read it and then I’ll send you mine, okay ??</p>

3

<p>I’ll read it.</p>

4

<p>I sent it to both!</p>

5

<p>PM me urs and read mine too.</p>

6

<p>I’ll read yours if you’ll read mine. PM me :)</p>