Please critique my essay for the AUP?

<p>Hello, I am applying to the American University of Paris and would be grateful for feedback on my essay :)</p>

<p>Let me know if you would be willing to help out (post, pm, or email- all fine) and your preferred method for contact!</p>

<p>Thank you :-)</p>

<p>Please? I’ll give out candy!</p>

<p>I can read it, and help you the best I can.</p>