Please crititque my common app essay

<p>I'm trying to get into top school. Feedback would be greatly appreciated</p>

<p>I’m ready to help. Just PM me. </p>

<p>I’ll read it as well. Send it in a message! :)</p>

<p>PM me. </p>

<p>pm me</p>

<p>Not too sound like a jerk but I’m extremely paranoid. I’d rather someone already in college or out of college to critique my essay. </p>

<p>pm me~</p>