Please, Desperate Need Of Help

Pre-Med & Medical School Foreign Medical Education
1

<p>I recently received Royal College of Surgeon's in Ireland acceptance in the mail and was shocked that they needed a decision by the 22nd of June. The last few days have been pretty stressed and hectic with me deciding if I was going to finish what I started at SC or leave 6 yrs for Ireland. I've been talking to absolutely everybody I can, including my high school friend Obaid who just finished his first year at RCSI, my other high school friend Zeesean who just graduated and turned down all the UCs and USC for foreign medical education in either Ireland, Pakistan, or the Caribbean, he's very much confused like me right now because Ireland is more than three times the cost of the other two and he's not sure if the RCSI name is worth that extra money. </p>

<p>There seems to be an immeasurable number of issues going through my head lately that I've been considering, many of which I had planned to discuss with you on the phone but its getting very late in the game so I thought I had better summarize them for you in an email. </p>

<p>1) Basically, I've narrowed it down to if I choose to pursue Dentistry, I would stay at USC, and if Medicine, I would leave for RCSI this October. However, recently I am hearing that all the advantages that I thought were solely in Dentistry (less stress, more control over hours, more family time, more control, working right after graduation, no HMO/insurance mess), are actually available in a few of the competitive medical fields, like anesthesiology, dermatology, or radiology, who have less hours, more control, and if you work at a place like Kaiser (the human health factory), the hospital deals with HMO and insurance messes for you. So now my decision of which career to make by the 22nd is even more confusing because the advantages that I had singled out are being blurred. However, this is just what I've heard, and I need to get more information on these specific residencies. </p>

<p>2) My mom still refuses to believe I'm even considering dentistry, because they advertise in the penny saver and such (she's still not over the fact that I messed up my applications senior year and didn’t get into a bac/md program somewhere where we could have avoided the whole conversation I had with her). I've gone to dental and medical clinics to speak with the doctors there, and friends of the family, and talked to friends for hours and hours these last few days, but in the end, as expected, there all telling me to single myself out of everything, and decide on my own, regardless of what my friends, family, little brother, will all think of me, and just decide what I want, dentistry or medicine. Which of course is true, I'm just trying to gather as much info as I can before I decide. </p>

<p>3) I know that I have to get over my retrospective BS I keep going over, everybody tells me too. I believe I may have told you part of the reason I didn’t go to RCSI last year was because of my pride and how I didn’t want to go to the school where Obaid was going after I feel like I murdered my youth during high school while he completely chilled. Now, if I go, I realize I would be a year BEHIND him, but I have to get over that and just do whatever is the best for me now.</p>

<p>4) RCSI is one year premed and 5 year med school for a complete 6 yr program that I would be starting in October, another main reason I'm thinking about it was after finishing freshman year with a 3.15, and after a friend only got into two med schools after applying to 40 with a 3.9 and 32 -my biggest fear became, spending four years at USC, and then another 5 at RCSI, when I could of just left years earlier and saved all that time at USC. But last night, after talking with some friends, I realized I’m only going to be 17 once, why am I such a rush. Do I really care if I'm a doctor or dentist at 30 or 40? I don’t know if you know Art, the BISC 220 SI leader's story, but after talking with him for a long time when we met first week of second semester, I really admired how he took the time to fully enjoy his undergrad, and work hard in the post bac program at SC later. When I then brought up the idea of just staying at SC and going to RCSI later if I had to and that there’s no rush, they understood but were shocked as I was that I hadn’t even considered the extra money it would cost for me to take my time in school. </p>

<p>5) Besides the whole choose Dentistry/USC or Medicine/Ireland decision, is the girlfriend at USC. We started dating in February and we're serious. All my closest friends, who have all been blinded by love and screwed up because of it in one way or another, keep reminding me that I'm acting like any guy 2-6 months into a relationship and that I shouldn’t stay and do dentistry just because of her. Of course this is true, but I can’t help but think sometimes that going to Ireland would end us and I can’t see myself handling that. I understand though, that I need to do what's best for me, no matter what, but I cant stop thinking about how amazing it would be to spend my next three yrs with her at SC (because most likely, geography will become an issue once we go to professional school anyway, but I could still make the most of these three remaining years with her). </p>

<p>I deeply apologize for taking up so much of your time, but any advice at all on any of these issues would be so helpful. You can reach me via email, or at 909.393.8655 or 909.967.8786, anytime of the day, very late or early. Thank you again.</p>

<p>Sincerely,</p>

<p>Rishi Talwar</p>

2

<p>Oh, my. What a lot of thinking. All very well done, by the way: my congratulations. You've nicely compartmentalized the main issues, and that's fine. I don't really have much more for you, except to emphasize my feelings about some of your points. Before I go on, please remember that these are just personal feelings, and, although they are or were right for me, they will not be so for everyone. For what they are worth, however, here they are. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>I can't help much with dentistry vs. medicine. I have an increasing number of advisees going into dentistry, for exactly the reasons you give. The training period can be shorter, too, as residencies are not as common in dentistry (and are often omitted completely). The HMO relation in medicine is a problem. It is true that they take care of insurance, etc., and that the working hours are much better. It is also true, unfortunately, that you are working for them, rather than being independent. They will limit your medical decisions for financial reasons; will force/ask? you to work in areas that you might wish to avoid, but will have to accept; and will pay you less than you'll make in a group practice (probably substantially less). It is also probable that they'll change dramatically over the next ten years, for the now "standard HMO model" is coming under intense legal and legislative pressure, and will surely change. Probably it'll change a lot, but no one quite knows into what. I know that it's hard to plan with these changes in the wind, but that's the reality. Both careers allow rich and exciting work. </p></li>
<li><p>Here vs. there? I fear that your 3.15 may make up your mind. Unless your grades come up substantially, you'll be in trouble getting into a stateside medical school. You can do the arithmetic; you'll need about a 3.6 when you apply, along with an MCAT score of 30 or better. (There's a concern about your friend with the excellent record; in my years on admissions committees, he'd have been accepted at most schools. Don't tell him, but there's some other problem, somewhere. Don't let his concerns become yours; the 3.6/30 numbers are well documented). Going to Ireland might be a good idea, if you MUST be a physician and wish to do so right now. If you want to go to med school here, you probably can, despite last year's grades, but it'll take you a few extra years to overcome the low grades. Certainly doable, though. </p></li>
<li><p>Now vs. later? This is a real question, and I am glad that you're thinking about it. There are two major concerns: cost of education and the time you take. I am a fan of enjoying your youth, and certainly favor a college education over one of the shortened programs that give an MD in only a few years after high school (like that in Ireland). I do believe in enjoying the journey to finishing our education, but I also believe that one's formal education shouldn't take forever. It is certainly true that we have lots of students who, for one reason or another, apply to medical school in their mid-twenties (or even thirties). Art is a great example, and a guy who is worth talking to. Unfortunately, these "fun years" are usually very expensive, and this decision is one that you should make only in consultation with whomever pays for your education. I have had advisees who blithely took an extra two years "because I was having a great time!", only to find out that their parents, who had agreed that they could take the time, had to take out a mortgage on their home to pay for it. These are sometimes deep waters, and deserve careful consideration and discussion within your family. </p></li>
<li><p>Girls. Oh, my. This is a tough one, and, I'm afraid, one that I can't address well. In my life, girls were always secondary to my education, career, and work. (My wife felt the same way about guys; fun, but not to be seriously considered in career decisions). The point, of course, is the word serious. I was never serious about any woman until I was nearly 40. In hindsight, I missed a great deal of satisfaction in the personal interactions that I passed by. Joan and I both feel that, despite the pleasure of the relationships we'd miss, we'd do it the same way again. You must realize that these are the conclusions from two confirmed workaholics, who were lucky enough to find each other and build a fine marriage. Our philosophy was in line with some my father once gave me about relationships: if being away for a while destroys one, there probably wasn't much there in the first place. </p></li>
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<p>I have many advisees, and a growing number of nieces and nephews, who became serious about someone at an early age (like 20, or so). They're now married, and we enjoy knowing them and playing with their children. They have loving, caring, and supportive marriages, and are very happy. It's obviously not a bad way to go, and I can't advise anyone to pass it by. On the other hand, 17 is pretty young (not to be too unpleasant here, but being realistic). One needs to separate first love, and physical attraction, from the deep commitment that is necessary to make a successful and meaningful marriage. I have no idea where you stand with your lady, and offer these comments only in general. </p>

<p>All this makes me sound like a high school counselor, doesn't it? I'm sorry if I've bored you with platitudes, but I hope the comments help. You're obviously being very careful with an important decision, and I applaud you for that. Maybe the final comment should be: you really can't do anything that's disastrous. You're dealing here with the best way to accomplish a great feat. There are other paths to get you where you want to go, and you may follow them someday, too. But you're not considering things that are overwhelmingly important: having a home; finding money to support your family; taking care of them after a disaster, like an earthquake or a life-threatening disease; and so on. I'm sure you can add to that list. Don't stress yourself into being unhappy with whatever you do. </p>

<p>Good luck with the choice. If you decide to stay, I'll look forward to seeing you in the fall. If you decide to go, please let me know, and feel free to let me know if there's anything that I can do to help. </p>

<p>Regards,</p>