<p>Please help, I have no idea how to correctly do the college essay and this is my first attempt. Any type of feedback and corrections will be of great help. Thank you.</p>
<p>Hundreds of eyes are staring at me. Difficult to distinguish their faces, due to the lighting conditions, I can only see the whiteness of their eyes. All the teachers, students, parents, and staff members were all sitting in the overcrowded six hundred seat auditorium. This does not alleviate my perturbation; instead, it only acts as a catalyst to my clanging teeth , rapidly forming goose bumps, and uncontrollable foot tapping. My face was drenched with sweat and my deodorant was starting to wear off due to my excessive perspiration. The contestant in front of me had finished. She had advanced to the next round. I tried to look at the direction of the light, but the intensity of the light was way too powerful. I walked slowly and unsteadily to the microphone as the spotlight stalked me with every step. It was my turn.</p>
<p>Hi - a great intro, I am dying to read the rest! Your tenses don’t match in the para. Hundreds of eyes ARE staring… depends on how the rest of it reads - you may want to change to WERE staring. I will edit in CAPS below… and will place ____ where something was deleted. Good luck!</p>
<p>Hundreds of eyes WERE staring at me. Difficult to distinguish their faces___ due to the lighting conditions, I COULD <strong><em>see ONLY the whiteS</em></strong>_ of their eyes. All OF the teachers, students, parents, and staff members were _<em>__sitting in the overcrowded six-hundred seat auditorium. This (THIS WHAT?) does not alleviate my perturbation; instead, it </em> acts as a catalyst to my clanging teeth, rapidly forming goose bumps, and uncontrollable foot tapping. My face was drenched with sweat and my deodorant was starting to wear off __<strong><em>. The contestant in front of me had finished. She had FLAWLESSLY, (or EXPERTLY) advanced to the next round. I tried to look _</em>IN the direction of the light, but the intensity __</strong>was way too powerful. I walked slowly and unsteadily toWARD the microphone, as the spotlight stalked me with every step. It was my turn.</p>