Please edit this essay for Air Force :)

Applying to College
1

<p>No, its not mine, but my friend is computer illiterate and wants the wonderful people of CC to edit it/offer suggestions..thanks a lot if you can!</p>

<p>Why do you want to attend the air force academy and what sets you apart form other candidates for admission?</p>

<p>I have always desired to become an officer for the United States Air Force to have the privilege of flying and fighting with America's top military pilots. As a motivated and dedicated pilot and airmen I will have the opportunity to travel around the world meeting new people across the US and around the world. The best way to achieve my dream career is to enroll into the Air Force Academy. At the academy, I will be able to receive the finest education that the military has to offer to future pilots and leaders in the United States Air Force. Not only do I want to attend the academy to become a pilot, but to become an efficient and well-disciplined leader in the Air Force. I would also work with my fellow cadets and help them to become outstanding and dedicated leaders. Also with the demanding physical and mental work cadets receive I am willing to help others the best I can in accomplishing their given task. With my devotion to help others I know that I am different from all of the other candidates for I not only want the best for myself but for others as well. With the knowledge of the Air Force Academy's values, honor code, and everlasting diligence I know that I will be able to proudly work my best academically and mentally to become a dedicated leader and pilot for the United States Air Force.</p>

2

<p>Boring!!!!! What sets his essay apart? Nothing. (I'm being honest because I care)</p>

<p>I recommend your friend open with something like this:</p>

<p>"ROLL OUT! ROLL OUT!" I shouted to Frank, my fighter pilot partner, as a pair of Tamahawk missiles streaked toward him. "I can't! My electronics are malfunctioning!" and with the explosion I awoke. </p>

<p>(insert personal experiences that made you wanna be a pilot)</p>

<p>(insert experience of how you helped another)</p>

<p>Don't just talk about it.</p>

3

<p>seriously, your friend makes a laundry list of everything that happens in the Air Force and how he loves it all. There are other ways of showing that the Air Force is perfect for him. Put some creativity into that thing. If he is really passionate about joining the Air Force, that will not be too hard.</p>