Please grade and comment on my essay as If I actually wrote this on the SAT exam...Thanks!!

<p>Prompt:
"The thing which we obtain too easily,we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value" ----Thomas Paine
Question:
Do we value only what we struggle for?
ESSAY:
At the end of every struggle there is a reward. That reward is more valuable to a person because they know how difficult it was to obtain it. Anybody who has been through great adversities can truly understand the meaning of Thomas Paine<code>s quote and nod their head saying "that is true." I happen to be one of those people.
During my childhood years, up to my teen years, I had to suffer a lot because of my teeth. They were in irregular positions and all clustered up. I remember the days when kids used to tease me and all the procedures I had to go through before I got my braces One of those procedures were when the dentists made me wear a palate that was inserted in the roof of my mouth so that the pressure of the palate allowed my teeth to expand allowing some space in between my teeth. It was difficult for me to talk that year because my speech soeunded as if a bee had stung my tongue. When I finally got my braces, the pressure of it hurt my teeth for the first few weeks and I could eat nothing but soup. There were so many do</code>s and dont`s of braces that I thought it was better to have ugly teeth. There was even a list of food that I was not allowede to eat! After 5 long years I got my braces off and the result was a nice smile that consisted of straight teeth. I value every moment that I smile and laugh because I had been thorugh so much to obtain it.
Bus and train companies, in the segregation pariod, had enforced seating policies which separated balsck and white people. The bus had "colored" sections,usually in the rear of the bus,but the sections were never fixed. The sections were determined by the number of whites boarding the bus. If there were a shortage in seats for the whites, the blacks had to give up their seats and move to the rear. If there was no apce in the bus, the blacks had to get off. One day Rosa Park boarded the bus and paid her fair. Several stops later, some white passengers boarded and had nowhere to sit. The bus driver demanded several black people to give up their seats but Pars refused. The refusal led to her arrest as she broke the law. The following evening she was bailed out of jail. Several months later she led the Montgomery Bus Boycott which had turned out to be a success but led to some hardships. She and her husband lost their jobs. Due to financial problems, she could not pay for the medical bill of her husband, brother and mother who were diagnosed with cancer a few years later. Her family ordeals had caused her to leave the civil rights movement but in the end her adversities were worth as her actions led segregation to integration.
No pain,no gain is a saying we often her. It means,without struggle there is no valuable reward, Without fighting, victory is worthless. This is true for me and Rosa parks, So why not you?</p>

<p>I wanted to change the braces part and write about how I got A`s in my exam beacuse i studied really hard but I am not really sure :-/ </p>