<p>Question: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? </p>
<p>Life is like a mirror—things aren’t always the way in which they manifest themselves, like the side car door mirrors that reveal things further than the proximity of reality. It is through the examples of literature, history, and personal example that things seem different than at one’s primary glint. </p>
<p>Dealing with the same thesis statement, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter emerges as a prime example. The novel’s focal character, Hester Prynne, has a nefarious secret hanging on her conscience: she has committed the nasty, sinful action of adultery and has conceived a progeny. She is banished and sequestered from the Massachusetts town and is forced to wear a marking of her crime, the scarlet letter A. After a many years, Prynne makes her trek back into the lives of the townspeople. The town now associates the letter now as able. Prynne was given a bad connotation, but it was after her ability to survive social pressures that caused the town to peer within themselves to reevaluate what they once judged. </p>
<p>Correlating to history and current events comes America’s symbol of purity, power, and perfection: Martha Stewart. Since her career as a woman jumpstarting the livelihood of America’s homemakers in the early 80’s, Stewart had always presented herself in an esteemed manner. It was in 2001 that Stewart was accused of inside trading with Imclone, which caused her to enter jail. Stewart proved that being able to create 3-tier cakes can’t salvage anyone from the manner in which people look at you thereafter. </p>
<p>Lastly, I have firsthand knowledge of the “things aren’t always as they seem” adage. It was in 9th grade that I thought my best friend Clarissa was the pinnacle of generosity and helpfulness. I found out that she was just utilizing me for the gourmet food that I could produce. Clarissa wasn’t the same; she was worse than she seemed; she was a liar. </p>
<p>In toto, we have to remember that we must always present ourselves in the light that we wish to be seen in. For it is when we stop caring, and slip up that our reputations get tarnished forever.</p>
<p>I would give this essay probably a 3 and possibly a two. I think your over abundance of awkwardly placed vocabulary words tries too hard to impress and severley dampens your point. To that end, your introduction is too short and does not develope enough as the exposition of the piece. Your job, at this point in the essay, is to start at the most broad a concept, and then zero in on the specific. You start broad, and remain there. Once you begin your first example, the passage seems forced and without any frame of reference. While The Scarlet Letter is a perfectly acceptable example to use in answering this prompt, your analysis of the work is entirely too superficial. You spend too much time concerned on the plot of the novel, when in essence, the plot is a secondary concept to what you are most interested in saying. The amount of time you dedicate to Hawthorne is not at all enough and you leave the example widely unresolved. While dear old Nathan is sufficient for an example, Martha Stewart however, is not. SAT graders are looking for high quality discussion points, that is, impactual figures, works, technologies. Martha Stewart, satisfies none of the above descriptions. You would need a much strong example here. Also, I find that recounting personal experiences rarely produce favorable scores. Especially when they are petty and insignificant in the writters' life. If you really were interested in adding this paragraph, you really would have needed to go into much greater detail, but I am entirely sure that the grader would not have been interested. Lastly, your conclusion is both confusing and uninspiring. You don't relate back to the original prompt, nor your examples. I'd say you really just need to start over. Listen, I don't mean to sound overly critical, however you may take this, but I don't think it does anyone any good to just say "great job 6!" If you wrote this on the actual test, you wouldn't be happy with the score. There are several books explaining how to write high scoring SAT essays, and I think you'll find, that this essay needs major improvements if not total revision.</p>
<p>Ive seen real life tests graded and yours defintely isnt a 3 or a 2 (as he said)
Dont worry your vocabulary words are used very good and the viewers will be impressed. </p>
<p>Look at an example of a 3 or 2 in the blue book and you notice that it is incomplete, contains limited vocabulary words, and is usuaklly 2-3 prargraphs compared to your 5.</p>
<p>Good luck and its definetely a 4 or higher.</p>
<p>First of all halopeno, you must remember that when one writes on the computer, it distorts the amount of words. It makes it seem like less words when in reality, glucose wrote a fair amount. Also halopeno, stop being so critical on her essay, remember that you got a 12 for a reason and just because it isnt like your essay doesnt mean its a 6/12</p>
<p>i agree with some of the points that halopeno made, however, you have to factor in the time limit of 25 minutes. the sat graders are not expecting flawless essays. I would give it a 4. I would stick to just 2 strong examples and focus more on building a better intro/conclusion. The vocabulary does seem kind of forced, try to ease up a bit and let it flow--Don't write a huge convoluted essay, cut out the fat and get to the point. Provide lots of details! you are lacking in this aspect of the essay.</p>
<p>4-5/ lots of verbiage (which is a good thing unfortunately for the sat), examples stray off your own thesis (not the question, just your thesis)</p>
<p>SAT graders would never critique your essay the way halopeno did. They spend around 30-60 seconds on an essay. They just try to get an overall impression about the essay. I would give it a 5.</p>
<p>If you compare College Board examples of 5/6s, they are nothing like this essay. I may have been overly critical for the SAT, but in terms of a high school level essay, it wasn't quite "there". I'd say boarderline 4.</p>