please grade my essay and fast!!

Applying to College
1

<p>hello, im new here... and i just want someone to grade my essay and fast PLEASE..
it might be not that good, but anyhow i just want some opinions before i send my papers..
it's about an issue thats important to me..</p>

<p>Job opportunities</p>

<p>Of all the aspects of social misery nothing is as heartbreaking as unemployment. ~Jane Addams. When we were kids we thought life is simple. We looked at it as simple as just going to school, graduate, go to college, graduate, and finally work, raise a family and live happily ever after. However, when we grow up we are faced with the fact that this is not true. People are struggling to find jobs .There are many people searching for a job, but it's difficult to find one that matches who you are and what you're capable of doing. The job market in my country is very limited, especially for women due to our society cultures; Women's job market is limited to medicine and the educational sectors. Though there's a progress in female job opportunities that it actually tripled since 1992, the opportunity is still limited in a narrow range in their access to jobs and employment opportunities.</p>

<p>There are many conservative people in my country who don’t approve the socialization between men and women, therefore the women are not able to work among men, or study abroad without a legal guardian. Some of them believe that it's forbidden for women to socialize with men due to their misunderstanding of Islam religion. Other liberal people encourage women to work and study abroad, and now it's easier with the government scholarship.</p>

<p>The job market for female jobs here is very limited. Women often go the medical or educational sector, and there's a lot of competition between female graduates to get in these fields, because as in university's education there's no more than female graduates being either a doctor or a teacher, also if she's going to study a different field, she has to open her own business, and it's not that easy here because it's controlled by men throughout all the legal papers.</p>

<p>Studying abroad is really good for a female, unless if she's going to study a new field she has to think a lot of the major she's going to study and not to forget at the end she'll be back and the society might still have some reservations about female socializing with male, for example she has to consider the fact that in our country there's no jobs for female engineers, or even a school for them. Although, only one company has started to hire female engineers, hopefully other companies will follow.</p>

<p>That’s the reason why female high school graduates in my country have to think really well about the major they're going to study, because it depends on job availability. Though it's in progress it's still a narrow range. In addition, our society will accept the progress in female's education, career, and social life within time. </p>

<p>PLEASE grade it soon and fast, i really need your help
thank you so much!!!</p>

2

<p>the essay needs work. review for grammatical errors (life WAS simple, not is simple. past tense), & also you need to go over the structure. some things should be reworded, such as “studying abroad is really good for a female” or “That’s the reason why female high school graduates in my country have to think really well about the major they’re going to study”. it just sounds amateur.</p>

<p>i’m not saying these things to be mean or offensive, just try and touch it up. reread it over and over and over again. college essays should be perfect, as you have plenty of time to review and make corrections to them.
anyway, good first draft, just edit edit edit! and good luck {:</p>

3

<p>thank you so so much…
i did work on it
and here it is:</p>

<p>Job opportunity and Female Education</p>

<p>Job opportunities for women in my country are very limited due to society culture. For many years’ women education had been focused in two field’s medical and educational sectors. The majority of women work force is located in these two fields. Female high school graduates have to think very hard in selecting major of study to have a chance in finding a job after graduation. However, there is a slight change and opening has been seen lately for more women job opportunities in my country. Thinking of finding a job after college graduation is a big concern for me and my family to be independent and have bright future.
Choosing a major of study is a big concern for female high school graduates in deciding which field they ought to study. When I was a kid I thought life was simple. I looked at it as simple as just going to school, graduate, have a nice job, raise a family and live happily ever after. However, when I grow up I realized that this is not true. Women are struggling to find jobs. There is a lot of competition among the female in finding a job as most of the female graduates are concentrated in the medical and education sectors. Female students usually become teachers, nurse or doctors. Engineering schools do not exist for female. It is very rare to see female students go for engineering degree as they have to go abroad to graduate and there is only one company (Saudi Aramco) started to hire female engineers.
There are many conservative people in my country who don’t approve the socialization between men and women. Some of them believe that it’s forbidden for women to socialize with men due to their misunderstanding of Islam religion. Therefore, women are not able to work among men or study abroad without a legal guardian. Also, there are a lot of obstacles for female in finding a job due to the culture. For example, women are not allowed to drive or travel alone without a guardian and it is not easy for female to establish her own business as all legal documentation and approvals are controlled by men and that’s make it very difficult for women to own a business. Liberal people are encouraging women to work and study abroad, and with the help of the government providing scholarship lately for female, it become easier to study abroad in different fields.
The future is looking bright for female as there is more job opportunities have been seen for female college graduate. The government started to give scholarships for female student to study abroad. Therefore, female students are encouraged to study different fields other than education and medical sectors such as finance, accounting, media and engineering. There are more jobs have been created for female. For example, banks started hiring female to attract more female business. Also, women started to open their own business such as interior design and beauty salon. Although, there is only one company (Saudi Aramco) is hiring female engineers and that is a step forward and hopefully other companies will follow. King Abdullah University of Science and Technology (KAUST) for higher education is a very good example of culture change in accepting mix students which is started last year.
Selecting field of study for female new high school graduate is governed by future job availability. Cultural change is very essential in developing the society. Female are encouraged to study variety of subject to increase their chances of finding more job opportunities. My ambition is to study engineering and study very hard to get excellent grades in order for me to find a job with Saudi Aramco since it is very close to home and Saudi Aramco provide a lot chances for female to move up.</p>

<p>grade it for me please ?!</p>

4

<p>Your essay feels abstract – like a journalism article about job prospects in your country. What seems missing is the “you” in the essay – your academic aspirations, your intellectual interests, your potential contributions to the intellectual and social life at the colleges to which you’re applying, etc.</p>

5

<p>It’s kind of awkward. Like, you have idea after idea, but you kind of fail to bridge them together. Also, the grammar needs some work.</p>

6

<p>well your improved one is much better than the first :)</p>

<p>think about why you chose the topic. because it interests you yeah? or you feel that its an important issue. Instead of just telling that this is the situation, write about how the situation affects you and possibly what you have got out of it or done about it.</p>

7

<p>ok, will do what all of you said
hope i can really improve it
again, thanx alot for your help :)</p>