Please, grade my essay and help me improve!

<p>The people we call heroes do not usually start out as unusual. Often they are ordinary people subject to ordinary human weaknesses - fear, doubt, and self-interest. In fact, they live ordinary lives until they distinguish themselves by having to deal with an injustice or a difficult situation. Only then, when they must respond in thought and in action to an extraordinary challenge, do people begin to know their strengths and weaknesses.</p>

<p>Assignment: Do people learn who they are only when they are forced into action? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>When we are born, we are all the same. There are no personalities among babies. As we grow older, we have to face several life challenges and learn something from them. Though sometimes we want to believe we haven't become wiser after dealing with a problem, we always gain experience and build our own identity.</p>

<p>Some persons are born with special qualities, but they do not know about them until they apply them. Take the case of the well-known Harry Potter. He had magical powers ever since he was born, but he was unaware of it until he had to defend his own interest - going to Hogwards against his uncles' decision of staying in the town. Later on, when his friend Neville is in danger, he flies like a professional, even if he had had only a flying lesson, to save him.</p>

<p>Other persons do not have anything special, but necessity teaches them valuable lessons. Frode Baggins from 'The Lord of the Rings' is almost as famous as Harry Potter, but he is an ordinary hobbit with no special distinction. However, when he becomes the possessor of a dangerous magical ring, he has to find the strength to resist the temptation of using it, as well as the courage of starting a big and challenging journey to destroy it and save the world.</p>

<p>Just like Harry Potter or Frodo Baggins, we may all find some day an unpredictable situation where we have to show our best. Unless we look inside us for qualities such as ambition, courage or spirit of sacrifice, we will not deal with life challenges in the right way. The good part is that, once we found them and applied them, they will stay with us forever and make us better persons.</p>

<p>I know you are used to far better essays, but please give your opinion about this one.</p>

<p>11.
I love the essay. The last word "persons" though will sound better changed to people.</p>

<p>thank you, but I really don't consider it an 11. It's more like an 8 or 9 to me. What do you guys think? Am I underestimating myself?</p>

<p>use of 'persons' isn't great
your references are pretty weak, use stronger more literary works
you dont fully develop the ideas, and its quite short.
because of this i'd say its not even an 8... i'd say 6-7</p>

<p>Wow, 6-7? I think this is a solid 9-10 essay. One word is not gonna affect the score, guys, stop obsessing over 'persons' :) </p>

<p>I can't really find anything specific to criticize about this essay. On the whole, it's pretty good. If you're only going to use two examples, you shoudl develop them both more thoroughly. Your writing style is well suited for the SAT - clear and to the point. However, in your case, you may want to make an effort to include a bit more advanced vocab. You used words like 'big' and 'good'. Try to be more specific in your word choice, especially in the conclusion paragraph.</p>