Please grade my essay for 12....

PROMPT:-
I spent some part of every year at the farm until I was twelve or thirteen years old. The life that I led there was full of charm and so is the memory of it yet. I can call back the faint odors of wildflowers, the sheen of rain-washed foliage, the clatter of raindrops when the wind shook the trees, and the far-off hammering of woodpeckers. I can call back the prairie—and its loneliness and peace. Adapted from Mark Twain, My Autobiography Assignment: Is it important for people to spend time outdoors and to learn to appreciate the natural environment? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

MY ESSAY:-

Today we can observe a “transition from a natural environment to a built environment”. Nowadays, people are euphorically living indoors with their gadgets. It is really important for people to spend time outdoors and appreciate the natural environment.

In the book, “The Secret Garden”, written by Frances Hodgson Burnett, the power of nature to change people is elucidated. The protagonist, Mary Lennox, a ten year old, is selfish, rude and ruthless. She is sent to Yorkshire to live with her uncle whom she has never met before. There, she discovers a garden that has been desolated for years. She gradually takes great efforts to rejuvenate the garden. Her affection towards the plants, trees and the birds slowly changes her attitude. She understands how to evince her emotions. She also realizes the importance of affection and friendship. This story describes the remarkable influence of the environment on people.

With the increasing pollution and population, it is necessary for people to realize the importance and need for a natural environment. Another instance I would like to exemplify is the experience I had about two years ago. We were taken on a field trip to a farm to learn about the various animals and the farming techniques employed there. Being an amateur photographer, I took snapshots of every possible thing I saw in that farm. I submitted my photographs to the Photography Club in our school. I received a grand response from students. I felt really glad when they, looking at my photographs, decided to devote more time to respect the value of nature. Be it by external influence or from within, it is nice to see the increasing number of people who understand the importance of the natural environment.

Just like Mark Twain in his autobiography, people not only need to spend time outdoors but also encourage its importance. Even when we live an epicurean life in the city, the environment is our true abode.

Points off for misunderstanding the topic. Gardens and farms are not natural environments.