Please grade my essay... THanks

<p>essay prompt:there is an old saying..."there is nothing new under the sun"...what is your opinion of the idea that everything happening today is a repetition of something that occured earlier.</p>

<p>Every day when the Sun rises in the morning, it brings a fresh new beginning. Records are broken, records are made. Man has stepped on the summit of Everest, then he stepped on Moon and now, James Cameron has conquered the deepest point on earth, the Mariana Trench. Just when it was believed that everything there was to know had been known, Einstein came into the scene with his ground-breaking 'Theory of Relativity' that rendered Newtonian physics incorrect.
Everyday new technology, innovations, new scientific laws and discoveries are made. In a little more than a decade, our lives have become totally computerised. Pioneers like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs transformed gargantuan computers used for scientific research to fit onto desks in every household and now, into smartphones that fit into our pockets. Tim Burners Lee revolutionized the way we study, work and entertain ourselves with the world wide web, which has become nothing less than 'oxygen' that we need for survival in the twenty first century. Google, Facebook, Amazon, applications on our smart phones have changed the way we learn, connect, share, shop, eat or sleep. In this dynamic tech-age, how can anyone say that there is nothing new under the Sun? Indeed, there is a lot of repition as there are several social networks, forums, e-shopping websites, email websites, etc. but there is a lot of improvisations. Innovation is there too, like the way Steve Jobs exploded the moribund computing industry with mac, tablets, iphones and ipods and became an established visionary.
Yes, I too have had several exciting ideas but almost always I have been discouraged to know that it has already been created, yet I believe I am beggining to think in the right direction. Like Newton quoted, "I can see farther because I stand on the shoulders of giants", I believe that with time I too will be able to see further and contribute an original idea to the developement of society. Likewise, many great mathematicians have re-discovered many existing theorems, but that repition was not in vain; the logic and approach they developed this way enabled them to make new theorems. Hence, repition is also a step in the genesis of something new.
Nature itself is testimony that there is nothing old under the Sun. Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest" shows that species are continually evolving. From apes evolved humans, who do not resemble to apes anymore. Even amongst humans, differences like skin color and shape of ear lobes are distinct. This example also shows that although we cannot guage our daily progress and everyday seems like the day before, big changes are gradual and happening as we speak.
Indeed earth spins on its axis every day, cycle of season's continue endlessly, birds migrate to and fro, but I conclude with an ever stronger belief in Mark Twain's quote, "History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme."</p>

<p>483 words</p>

<p>Your essay was very well written, had good vocab and had some good quotes.</p>

<p>But you did not elaborate too much on your examples. You mentioned Gates and Jobs’ accomplishments but it was too short.</p>

<p>Ideally you need to have 2-3 examples but you need to expand on them and link it to your thesis.</p>

<p>While that was present in your essay, if that was more visible , your essay would’ve got a double digit score</p>

<p>Right now I’d say around a 4 from one reader, or a 9 from 2 readers.</p>

<p>Thanks a lot!
It was very helpful.
I 'll post another essay tonight in a new thread and here as well on a new topic and try and implement your suggestions</p>

<p>9/12 . I would give that.</p>

<p>10/12 and you can still make it higher.</p>