Please grade my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>

<p>Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that were supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better. </p>

<p>Adapted from Karen Finucan, "Life in the Fast Lane"</p>

<p>Assignment: </p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>With the aid of brilliant scientific minds, technology has been increasing at a rapid pace. Technological inventions, in general, permit us to live a convenient life; however, depending on the situation, this advantage can be gained at an expense. </p>

<p>Although computers and the Internet have helped us gain information more easily, it indirectly causes people to have less social interactions with each other. Given the readily available wide resources in the virtual world, we do not have to make trips to the library in order to satisfy our questions; therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that technology makes our lives easier. However, because information in the virtual world is accessible at any moment, it can cause a decrease in social interaction. For example, if I am looking for an exotic vacation location, rather than satisfying my quest by asking my friends and family through spoken verbal communication, I would look up the Internet for an answer, since the information is readily available. This decrease in social interaction du to technology hoes not make our lives better since people would be less includes to have conversations, and exchange their ideas and perspectives with each other.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, there are instances in which technology makes are lives easier and better, at no expense. With the invention of satellites, radio and television, news can be accurately broadcasted via those mediums rather than rumored and twisted, as the news is passed from mouth to mouth. This makes our lives better as it eliminates the possibility of fabrication of the fact, which poses the danger of conflicts. In addition, it makes our lives easier because we can be informed of the important crises and updates on the weather more quickly. Therefore, in some instances such as this, technology does make our lives easier and better. </p>

<h2>Although it is indisputable that technology makes our lives easier, the idea that technology makes our lives better cannot be concluded in general due to the vast number of scenarios which echoes contrasting verdicts. Henceforth, depending on the situation and its context, the ease which technology brings to our lives does not always necessitate the betterment of our lives.</h2>

<p>I've a question.</p>

<p>The instruction:</p>

<p>You have twenty-five minutes to write an essay on the topic assigned below. DO NOT WRITE ON ANOTHER TOPIC. AN OFF-TOPIC ESSAY WILL RECEIVE A SCORE OF ZERO. </p>

<p>So in this assignment, are they saying that the change which you talk about has to be related to technology? In addition to that, are they also saying that I have to talk about how technology has "made all of us feel rushed"? My essay is about technology, but I didn't say anything about feeling rushed. Is it okay? ... And is it even okay not to talk about technology? Would it be considered off topic? Thanks!</p>

2

<p>The explicit assignment is:</p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? </p>

<p>The quote above the assignment is meant to suggest how some author views the impact of rapid changes on people’s lives. You can have a different perspective. Your other question is whether or not the “changes” that make our lives easier refer to technology. Most likely yes, but I expect that you can refer to other types of changes that have a similar impact. In your essay you stick to technology, so this is not an issue.</p>

<p>In any case your essay is very much on topic.</p>

<p>I see it as mostly well written, a bit uneven in places. But that’s espected for a draft. You have some grammar errors here and there. Your mix of sentence structures is good, as is your choice of words. Your points are straightforward and clear, albeit a bit too simple. My sense is that this would earn you a 9-10.</p>

<p>What would take you higher? For one, more depth, as for example through more sophisticated examples – possibly from a book you’ve read, of from music and art, from current events, etc. Also the essay feels short. Another example would help.</p>

3

<p>An economic argument: the reason people feel rushed is because the value of every second of their lives has increased. </p>

<p>Your essay seems sound, by the way. Some mild grammar problems, e.g., “less” should be “fewer.” Style is sufficient for an SAT essay, and admirable given the time-constraint. I’d write more, but I’m a bit time-constrained myself at the moment.</p>

4

<p>Also, I’d address the hectic nature of modern life, if only because the dismissal or acceptance of that model is par-for-the-course whenever people talk about how technology and progress suck and we should all live in caves.</p>