Please grade my essay??

<p>I'm taking the May SAT and am VERY ANXIOUS about the fact that I've never been graded for any SAT essay ever. I'm self-studying and while I do great on essays generally, I don't know if I'm doing the "SAT way". Please tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I could do to improve my grade! (a 10+ is nearly necessary)</p>

<p>"Many people believe that our government should do more to solve our problems. After all, how can one individual create more jobs or make roads safer or improve the schools or help to provide any of the other benefits that we have come to enjoy? And yet expecting that the government--rather than the individuals--should always come up with the solutions to society's ills may have made us less self-reliant, undermining our independence and self-sufficiency."</p>

<p>Assignment: "Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations."</p>

<p>Essay: "Politicians are citizens who deliberatly chose, as a career, to help and represent their people. This is why governments should and must always try their hardest to solve their nation's problems instead of abandoning their people.
When I was in fifth grade, we elected our first-ever class president. A classmate who I"ll call Joe stepped up since everyone else felt too embarrassed to take the responsibility. Joe seemed, to all of us, bright and enthusiastic, which was why we all, very gladly, voted for him.
As the year went on, we had a few situations. Some teachers were unfair, some classmates were being mean, etc. We always turned to Joe, as our leader, to help us with our trouble. However, Joe never did anything, because he (as he later confessed) "only stepped up as a joke." We were all, needless to say, extremely dissappointed, but it was too late in the school year to change presidents, so we were stuck with an apathetic one.
Representing a group of people, whether it is a class of 10 year-olds or an entire country, should never be a joke. It should be taken seriously, as should that group's problems. If the government doesn't want to solve anything, than why does it exist to begin with? That doesn't mean, however, that people should merely sit back and wait for everything to be better. The will and desire to change must come from the citizens, and it must be supported and strengthened by the government.
Joe was never reelected, and neither should a politician that doesn't care. People deserve the right to choose representatives who will absolutely do their jobs of solving problems."</p>

<p>Anyone, please? :(</p>

<p>I think this one deserves 9. your way of presenting the topic is nice, but i think it would be better if you added another example (historical one) of a country whose citizens questioned the corruption of their ruler and forced him to leave the reign and as a result the country prospered.</p>

<p>Iam also going to go to the may test and the most difficult part for me is the essay.</p>

<p>good luck.</p>