Please grade my essay

<p>Here is my essay, I'm a international student, so please forgive my grammar.</p>

<p>Is it more important to do work that one finds fulfilling or work that pays well. </p>

<pre><code> In my opinion, it's much more important for a person to find a fulfilling job rather than the one that pays well. No doubt that money is a very important thing in our life, but it's not the only reason why people should connect their life to a job that makes them miserable. We should find a job that fulfils us and which we find interesting, because we will be spending a very big part of our life at work and our co-workers are the people that we will be seeing almost everyday, thus, whether we feel comfortable at work is going to affect our life and our personality.
As an example, my uncle used to work for a very large oil company in Vietnam. His family was always proud of his high position and the generous salary that he used to bring home every month. Although my uncle was an affluent man and could afford the life that everyone wished they had, he always looked remote when someone asked about his job. Turned out he never got along with his co-workers and boss, in addition, he was completely indifferent to the business world, thus he felt miserable every day. His bad mood affected his wife and children, since he would always come home annoyed and irritated. His family almost fell apart, until one day he made a shrewd decision and quit his job. He became a professional chef. Although his new occupation doesn't bring him a very large income, but he says that he feels happy every day, because he does something that he loves.
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<p>Another example can be found in one of my favourite books by Paulo Coelho "Veronika decides to die". Most of the people in the book wonder why the main character Veronika worked as a librarian after graduating from a Law School. As a erudite and attractive young woman, she could have a successful career as a lawyer, but Veronika decided to spend her days in a quite library, reading and reorganising books. As she explains, she never wanted to live in a cynical and cruel world full of competition and judgement, instead she felt happy working in a quite place where people came to read and expand their minds. She enjoyed working in the library, because she always felt that it was the place be she belonged and that occupation perfectly fitted her personality and her needs.
So is big money actually worth spending eight hours a day at the place that makes us unhappy with people who we can't stand of? I think that it's much more important to find a fulfilling job that brings us just enough money to have a fine life, rather than force ourselves to work for a salary that is not even worth our misery.</p>

<p>I am by no means an expert essayist, but I think your biggest problem is grammar. For example, this sentence “Although his new occupation doesn’t bring him a very large income, but he says that he feels happy every day, because he does something that he loves.”
The sentence doesn’t make much sense when you have the “but”.</p>

<p>“Although his new occupation doesn’t bring him a very large income, he says he feels happy because he does something that he loves.” </p>

<p>Rewriting it in such a way makes it cleaner and less wordy.</p>

<p>I would grade this a 7 because of the grammar.</p>

<p>I’m assuming you’re aware of your grammar problems, but I do think grammar is something that could lower an otherwise good essay.</p>