Please grade my essay

Topic: The old saying, “be careful what you wish for,” may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one’s perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life’s difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once “success” is achieved than they were before.

Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Essay:

We all build our life in a certain way, choose the best possible field of study which can hold our interest for the next thirty years or so for one thing, success. However, we often don’t realise that there are many things in life that are more important than receiving an enormous sum of money at the end of every month. While you’re out calculating the net worth of your all important firm, your baby might say her first word. While you’re in your workplace micromanaging everything to impress your boss, your mother might breathe her dying breath. You can achieve everything you can ever dream of, but you’ll never get these precious moments back. The misery of success is so subtle, it may not occur to you now, but it will eventually catch up to you.

Over the years we’ve come to see many people who have succumbed to the thirst of making their dreams into reality. Take Kurt Cobain for example, a man who revolutionised music with his lyrics, he had everything he could ever wish for, or so we thought. We thought that it’s impossible to be unhappy when you are a millionaire who’s getting richer by the second. We thought he was living the life, until he commit suicide. The nation was shocked and his fans were in tears; how can someone who has everything commit suicide?

Only then did we realise that money can buy everything except happiness. We realised that success can give us everything, but it can’t give us the moments that we missed, it can’t conjure a cure to take away our sadness, it can’t fill up the void we create while running after it like a bull to a red piece of cloth. There are countless examples of people who gave into the depression caused by success itself, another person who comes to mind is Robin Williams. The funniest man on television who brought us so much joy and laughter,a person who had everything at his fingertips including the support of millions of people, a person who ended his life despite all this because he felt alone.

While we’re chasing success, we forget about our loved ones, we forget about the most important things in our life. Losing them during this chase isn’t difficult. Ending up miserable and alone even though you’re surrounded by a pile of cash isn’t difficult .

Thanks in advance!