<p>I'd give you a 7. Why? Because it falls into the 3-4 category, but I multiply by 2.</p>
<p>What I think of the Essay:
Your essay:
1. develops a point of view on the issue, demonstrating some critical thinking, but may do so inconsistently or use inadequate examples, reasons, or other evidence to support its position
2. is generally organized and focused, demonstrating some coherence and progression of ideas
3. displays developing facility in the use of language, but sometimes uses weak vocabulary or inappropriate word choice
4. lacks variety in sentence structure
5. has some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics</p>
<p>Another suggestion I have: In your first body paragraph try to fit another example, and do the same in your second body paragraph, if there's space left.</p>