<p>Yes. I reread your first essay on the "however" and I am confident that you are getting better. Work on the intro and conclusions, and make sure you have relevant examples and lots of relevant support that shows critical thinking, and of course, fewer grammar mistakes and a few SAT words tossed in there, and you're on your way to a great essay. Oh yeah, make sure that you're ALWAYS aware of your thesis, and make sure your commentaries back up the thesis, the most important sentence in your entire essay.</p>
<p>With a few rare exceptions, I do not want to see another 3-sentence intro or conclusion from you ever again!</p>