Please grade my essay.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>I would really appreciate all of your comments!
Just short one is fine too. But I desperately need help from you guys.
Grade the score (1-12) and if you can comment on something that I can improve on, that would be awesome too.</p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?
(Bluebook Model Test 2 Topic)</p>

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<pre><code> Technology has brought multifarious changes to humans' everyday life. Because of the changes that it brought, humans are now more capable of using time for themselves than ever. As people can enjoy themselves more in their spare time, their lives are so much better than those of their ancestors. I believe changes that make people's lives easier also make them better.

  One of the greatest changes that ever happened to mankind is advancement in transportation. Unlike any other centuries, especailly twentieth century was the apex of transportation technology development. For example, planes invented by Wright Brothers offer totally different lives to people. People can travel all around the globe; not to mention the benefit of trade and cultural exchanges. Long ago, sailors had to fight against the sea to reach a continent,but now all we have to do is call or go online and click the buttons. People do not have to worry about getting lost or losing the products due to the harsh ocean weather.

   Also, the invention of internet network also provides greater quality of life. In my case, I am far away from home and cannot see my family everyday like others. However I can keep in touch with them through emails. I send my family an email and as soon as I click the 'Send' button, they get my mail right away. Emails make my life much easier and better because I don't have to go post office everyday to send a letter nor I need not worry about what is happeneing to them anymore; I can always talk to them any time. That also reduce my homesickness greatly.

  Technology might have started from one person's accidental experiment. However what it brought has affected billions of people right now. Not only it offers easier life and more leisure time, but also the techonology offers more wonderful time than any other time.

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<p>Oh my gosh, that was almost exactly the same as the essay question on my SAT!!!!! I felt like I was stuck in a recurring nightmare when I read that.. Mine was "Do improvements in technology present ethical challenges?" or something like that.</p>

<p>Anyways, about your essay - Your intro was good. I thought the paragraph about transportation, though, kind of skirted the question. What it seemed like you were saying was essentially that technology made transportation more convenient, which is another way of saying easier. It didn't really explain how technology makes one's life BETTER. How is a person made better by travel? (I agree that a person can be, but you need to explain it)</p>

<p>I think your third paragraph was good in that it stated technology advances our "quality of life." Of course, the internet doesn't just allow you to send emails - it also provides immense quantities of information, allowing the average person to become better informed by just surfing the web. I would try to include a couple more ways that the internet, or computers in general, have improved the human race.</p>

<p>I think your ending paragraph needs to be clearer. What do you mean that it started from one person's accidental experiment? Technology is an ongoing process - the creation of the wheel was an advance in technology. </p>

<p>Basically, I think your points are good if you do you agree that technology makes our lives better, but I would explore each one more deeply, and be more clear in distinguishing "better" from "easier."</p>

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<p>Thanks you so much! I always tried to write my conclusion clearer, but it IS really hard! But thanks for your help!!! I really appreciate it!</p>