Please grade my essay!

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A mistakenly cynical view of human behavior holds that people are primarily driven by selfish motives: the desire for wealth, for power, or for fame. Yet history gives us many examples of individuals who have sacrificed their own welfare for a cause or a principle that they regarded as more important than their own lives. Conscience--that powerful inner voice that tells us what is right and what is wrong--can be a more compelling force than money, power, or fame.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?

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<p>Conscience is a more powerful motivator than material desires for money, fame, and power. While such material desires can certainly be powerful motivators, the ultimate source from which we derive our motivation and energy is within ourselves. This can be seen in numerous instances in both history and literature.</p>

<p>John D. Rockefeller, one of the most famous entrepreneurs in history, was undoubtedly motivated by conscience more than by material desires. After having built up one of the most powerful and rich businesses of all time, Standard Oil, he proceeded to give his wealth away. Rockefeller found true happiness not through wealth or fame, but rather through using his wealth to do good. His conscience motivated him to open hospitals around the world, fund vaccines, and pour billions of dollars into a new, struggling college on the verge of collapse called the University of Chicago. Rockefeller certainly drew his motivation from his conscience.</p>

<p>Rockefeller's case is not alone; in mentioning him we must mention the general system of philanthropy. Philanthropy compellingly demonstrates the supremacy of conscience as a motivator; Bill Gates amassed the greatest fortune of his time, only to decide to give it away through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Andrew Carnegie, one of the tycoons of the 19th century, stated that the primary purpose of getting rich was to benefit others. Philanthropy, then, is the triumph of the internal and the conscience over the external, material desires that we all possess.</p>

<p>This triumph of conscience over materialism is further demonstrated in the literature of Batman. Bruce Wayne, the human behind the superhero, inherits an enormous company from his parents. Despite being one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, he feels neither satisfied nor happy. Only after Bruce dons the mantle of Batman does he feel that his life is fulfilling. Batman therefore demonstrates that it is not wealth or power that makes us truly happy, but making a difference in the world. Bruce Wayne is yet another of the many who are primarily motivated by conscience.</p>

<p>Motivation is thus clearly derived from within. These aforementioned men--Rockefeller, Gates, Carnegie, Batman--knew that they would not be truly happy with wealth, power, or fame. They knew that only by making a difference could they achieve enduring happiness and fulfillment. It was conscience that drove them, and society is all the better for that.</p>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to help me!</p>

<p>Bump! 10 views and not a single response? Help a fella out, guys. :P</p>

<p>i would say 5-6</p>

<p>Batman is literature?</p>

<p>The topic seems kind of stupid to me. If conscience would have been replaced by love, generosity, or passion -- it would make more sense.</p>

<p>I'd give it a 8-9. I wouldn't really site examples from comics, they might consider it childish.</p>

<p>Another thing, in all of your examples, there is a billionaire giving out money. It would be better if you used other examples. Plus, giving out money doesn't really require motivation, just a big heart. ;)</p>

<p>I'd give it a 4.</p>

<p>You write well, but you used the same example every time, just in different context. (billionaires)</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice and help, guys.</p>

<p>I guess I got a little too narrowly focused on the billionaire idea. Maybe should've focused a bit on people with power and fame as well as those with money?</p>

<p>Not really. People with power and fame ARE usually people with money.</p>

<p>Instead, focus on some different case. Let's take Robin Hood as an example. You could say his conscience motivated him to save the poor in a time when all but the most affluent were exploited by the Kingdom, blah blah blah.</p>

<p>Or you could take Mahatma Gandhi, saying his conscience motivated him - and ultimately an entire nation - to overcome the iron grip of British Empire and win India its independence.</p>

<p>So, what I'm trying to say is: Take diverse examples.</p>

<p>Thanks so much! Those are brilliant ideas. I wouldn't have thought of those. -_-</p>