Please grade my essay

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1

<p>Assignment: Should leaders of a country or group be judged by different standards?</p>

<pre><code> >>>>>> Leaders of a country or group should not be judged by different standards. Individuals in a nation or group look up to their leaders as role models for advice and support. If a leader happens to go against the standards for any reason, this may have a great impact on individuals within the group. Great examples of this can be found through examining past presidents.
>>>>>> American politics are supposed to be approached fair and justly by all candidates. However, Richard Nixon went against these standards while running for an additional term as President. In the Watergate scandal, he violated guidelines by attempting to spy on the opposing party in order to gain information regarding their campaign tactics. By doing this, Nixon was gaining an unfair advantage over his opponent. More importantly though was the example he was setting for American citizens. What would children think if they knew that the President of the United States was cheating in order to get ahead?
>>>>>> Another example of why leaders should not be held to different standards comes from Bill Clinton. During his presidency, it was discovered that he had been seeing a woman other than his wife. As an excuse, Clinton mentioned the amount of stress that leaders go through on a daily basis. This, however, is not an adequate excuse for braking the standards of society. By accepting a role as a leader, individuals must accept the pressure that comes along with the position in order to best benefit the whole. How might Clinton’s actions have influenced men and women living in America?
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<p>I'm looking to see what you would expect this to receive out of a possible 12 points. Any input is helpful!</p>

2

<p>7/12</p>

<p>The conclusion and introduction are good.</p>

<p>The body paragraphs need improvement. You have to tie it your examples to your thesis more. Rather than ending each example with “what would happen?” Write down what would happen, and how that would suck. The tie it back to your thesis (the suckiness would be horrible, so, in turn, leaders should be judged on the same standards).</p>

3

<p>^Totally agree. The questions at the end of the body paragraph weaken your point, in my opinion. Instead of asking the reader, answer the question yourself. Make an assertive point and tie it back to your thesis instead of asking questions.</p>

<p>Possibly an 8.</p>