<p>7/12</p>
<p>The conclusion and introduction are good.</p>
<p>The body paragraphs need improvement. You have to tie it your examples to your thesis more. Rather than ending each example with “what would happen?” Write down what would happen, and how that would suck. The tie it back to your thesis (the suckiness would be horrible, so, in turn, leaders should be judged on the same standards).</p>