Please grade my practice essay!

<p>Prompt: A mistakenly cynical view of human behavior holds that people are primarily driven by selfish motives; the desire for wealth, for power, or for fame. Yet history gives us many examples of individuals who have sacrificed their own welfare for a cause or a principle that they regarded as more important than their own lives. Conscience – that powerful inner voice that tells us what is right and what is wrong – can be a more compelling force than money, power or fame.</p>

<p>Assignment:
Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power? Blah, Blah, Blah</p>

<pre><code>No matter how bad a person is, he or she conspicuously has a conscience. When a situation demands it conscience is the best motivator. In the book, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, Atticus Finch tries to help Tom Robinson because he listens to his conscience. The people in the small town of Caddy in France, allowed Jewish people to live in their house during the Nazi invasion – these people provide another example as to people whose primary motivation was their conscience. Also when Roberta Mussilo adopted a poor child from the streets of Africa, she did it because her conscience wanted the child to get a better life.

In literature, there are many examples of characters whose primary motivation is his or her conscience, not money or fame. In the book, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, Atticus Finch defends Tom Robinson ( a black man accused of raping a white woman) even though Finch knows that he is going to lose the case. When his daughter asks him why is he bothering with such a case, he replies that he would not be able to sleep if he didn’t help poor Robinson. This shows that Atticus’s main motive for helping the already ill-fated Robinson is his conscience.

Unlike Atticus, who was the only person to help Tom Robinson, there is an example of a town of people in Caddy, France, who abetted Jewish people in their direst time of need – the Holocaust. The people of the town gained no benefit from helping the Jews, but they did it anyway. When asked why they took such a dangerous move, the townspeople replied, “Because our conscience wouldn’t allow is to say no.” Did they do it for anything that would benefit them materially? Probably not, because the townspeople’s heroic actions weren’t discovered until 50 years after the Holocaust. This gives an example of a group of people that listened to their conscience, despite the potential harm they might have incurred onto themselves.
Roberta Mussilo is a person that not many people have heard of because her action was not done for fame or power, but to calm her turbulent conscience. Mussilo adopted a small boy from Africa after seeing how malnourished and how much in need of medical attention he was. She adopted him to bring him to America and give him a better life – a task she did marvelously. The small boy is now a healthy young teenager. Mussilo is another example of a person whose primary motive was her conscience.

Atticus Finch, the people of Caddy and Roberta Mussilo all are paragons of people who do a certain action for their conscience and not for money, fame or power. People who listen to their conscience and not get distracted by material possessions are the real heroes of the world.
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<p>Thanks a lot.</p>

<p>8/12 9/12 (10 char)</p>

<p>8 .</p>

<p>I wrote one with the same prompt and assignment, can someone please grade this one as well? thanx. </p>

<pre><code> Everyone dreams of success, it might mean differnt things to different people, but everyone have a goal that they want to reach. I do not have any personal experience with the consequeces of success, because I am still in the process of reaching my goal. However, through both real and fictional people I can see that success do have bad, and sometimes disastrous consequeces.
A historical figure who found the fruits of success not very sweet was Abraham Lincoln. According to the historian Hofstadter, Lincoln had ambitions to succeed in politics ever since he was a child. He had the dream of reaching the top of the political ladder, and he reached that dream when he became president. However, he cannot sit back and enjoy his success. The Civil War had started, and he needed to make decisions that could mean life or death for thousands of people. As president he bears a crushing responsibility. That was the bad consequences to his success that he had not foreseen.
A classic example of a fictional character who has reached his dreams is the main character in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Gatsby had two interconnected ambitions, one is to become wealthy and the other to possess Daisy, the girl he loved. He was so concentrated on trying to reach his goals that he was blinded to reality. He could not see that money could not bring him happiness and that Daisy is not someone deserving of his love. Only after he reached his dream by accumulating wealth and reunite with Daisy, did he began to see the emptiness of his dreams. The effect is disastrous as he decided to take the blame of killing a woman for Daisy. Gatsby's success made the story a tragedy, as his success did not bring him the happiness he had expected.
There are many more examples of people who had reached their goal but found that their lives did not become better. Hoever, people will still try to achieve their goals, even when the consequences can be disastrous.
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