Please grade my SAT Essay. IT sucks. Less than 1 day to go!

<p>Please grade my SAT essay. How can I improve within the span of one night before the Saturday test? It is my last attempt ever, so I must make it count. please grade the essay and offer any feed back.</p>

<p>prompt:</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Quote:
Casual observation often leads to assumptions that are based on nothing but empirical evidence. In order to fully understand something, one must peel away the layers of the onion to closely scrutinize the subject in question. Under the eyes of the average observer the way that something seems remains unquestioned; under the eyes of a keen observer the way something seems is openly questioned. Clearly, appearances are misleading. Examples from scientific studies combined with a historical anecdote indicate that what "seems" isn't always what it is. </p>

<p>To understand how sometimes the way something seems isn't always what it is, take the curious case of newly discovered cognizant intelligence in Mamillian species. Long thought to be the only organisms with the capacity for critical reasoning and language, humans now must share the ranks of superior intelligence with other animal species. A recent study documented in the June 2008 issue of the Gottenburg Institute of Animal Science's bi-quarterly journal claims that "mammals such as chimpanzees... once thought to be creatures of instinct are challenging the previous held notion that they lack intelligence. After painstaking research we have concluded that they [chimpanzees] have an advanced capability to use tools and the rudimentary basis for a language to express emotions, thoughts, and ideas." Only after years of intense scientific study did the Gottenburg Institute discover that other advanced animals are aware of themselves within the environment. Previously, actions committed by chimps were thought to be natural instincts. Now, it is common knowledge that chimpanzees have an intelligence roughly equivalent to an eight year old human child. If it was not for the curious scientists committed to zoology at the Gottenburng Institute, humans still would remain ignorant of the very creatures that we share the earth with. By dedicating time and resources to dissecting an issue that was once thought to be common knowledge, the definition of animal intelligence has forever been changed. </p>

<p>Furthermore, one of history's greatest mysteries was recently solved by a team of archaeologists in Guangdong China. During 11th century Song China, under magistrate Shi-Long-Wang hundreds of peasants mysteriously disappeared. Over time legend and lore of yore has skewed history into a convuluted version of really happened in the province. The disappearance was once accredited to an outbreak of the Bubonic plague, however recent archeological evidence suggests that it was a deadly strain of the h-3 virus that infects only the rice plants in the Guangdong region of China. Celebrated archaeologist Billy Jarwell went on to say "without the tools of modern science, examining the dna of the dormant virus within the rice stalk wasn't possible. What more will we find that we previously didn't know"? By examining the calcified remains of a peasant, traces of the deadly strain of the h-3 virus were found in the stomach of a deceased peasant. Thus, after careful observation new facts arose from once accepted fact. What more will change as technology progresses?</p>

<p>Upon examining the evidence provided by case of the disappearing peasants and the Gottenburg's research on animal intelligence, the definition of mundane things have changed. Without careful observation, we would be living in a world that accepted fallible evidence. Yet, appearances are misleading. The age old adage "Don't judge a book by its cover" sums up the point that what seems might not actually be. Our definition of the past, present, and future will continue to be redefined.</p>

<p>why? Any particular reason why it would score that low?</p>

<p>If I were grading this essay, I’d suspect that the evidence for your arguments was bogus, but that really doesn’t matter. I’m neither a biologist nor an archaeologist and neither will your grader be. The reader isn’t reading for fact, he/she is reading for development of the thesis, style and diction. On these points, the essay is strong. If the evidence is fiction, it is well-developed fiction. Fiction is a legitimate genre in which to write.</p>

<p>Otherwise, there are scattered errors and lapses but the general writing quality is good enough, in my opinion, to merit a score of 5/11. </p>

<p>There is one problem, however. I might also entertain the possibility that the essay was, to some extent, plagarized. I don’t know what the graders would do in a case like that. If it were forwarded to a supervisor who used the software that’s out there for checking that kind of thing, what kind of result would they get?</p>

<p>Don’t let that last comment shake you. If someone thinks your writing may have been copied and it wasn’t, they are actually saying you are a very good writer.</p>

<p>So, wood, do you think I should shy away from ******** examples? None of the stuff I wrote is true. I wrote it all on the fly and made up quotes to “support” the fabricated evidence. Does the bs stink so much that it will affect my score? Should I write truthfully? Whenever I write truthfully I can’t fill out both pages within the time limit, but if I bs I can fill both pages and have 5 minutes to edit. I know for a fact that SAT graders usually give longer essays higher scores. Lastly, what can I change so the essay is more stylistically sound?</p>

<p>Oh I read it wrong, 5/6 and 11/12. Also is using quotes to give proof for your examples bad? They are easy to make up and you can forge one to fit the needs of your paragraph quite easily. What should I do for a 12?</p>

<p>Factual evidence is not really a requirement for executing a high quality essay. The CB and your reader know that, and can evaluate the essay whether the evidence is true or not.</p>

<p>So, what’s the downside to faking evidence? The downside is that experienced people can usually spot it. I did in your essay above. The CB and your reader choose to overlook it. BUT THEY MAY NOT BE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO READ YOUR ESSAY. The CB will forward your essay to the Admissions Office of the schools to which you apply if those schools request it, and the person there who reads your essay will be just as likely to spot faked evidence as your SAT reader. How will they react? I can’t tell you. But I can ask how you would feel knowing that you had your best ever scores in Math and CR and a writing section that included a great essay with fake evidence?</p>

<p>I suspect that you’ve already taken your test, so answering your specific questions is probably moot. Still, if you want to know, PM me and I’ll go into them in detail. Are you considering re-taking?</p>