Please Grade my SAT essay

<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.</p>

<p>Adapted from J. David Velleman, "The Genesis of Shame"</p>

<p>Assignment:
Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>ESSAY:
There are times in life when it is important to express your self, and their are times when it's not necessary. But the ability to say whats on your mind and share your thoughts and ideas is very important. But if no one ever spoke up and talked about their ideas we wouldn't be where we are right now.We would be in a culture void of personality. If people try to keep who they are and what they think private we would never move forward, for people who make major ground breaking discoveries like Galileo and Newton, and for people like Martin Luther king Jr. and Gandhi who want to change the world.
One one hand people who express them selves could be seen as eccentrics their ideas might also be the most ground breaking. People like Galileo who spoke about his ideas, which at the time seemed very eccentric and illogical, in the public and publishing books, if he had kept his inclinations and impulses to him self, then we might still Believe that the Earth is the center of the universe. Or people like Issac Newton who discovered the laws of gravity and how it works, if it wasn't for him expressing his thoughts gravity might still be misunderstood.<br>
As well as other situations when expressing your thoughts is positive, when ones thoughts can be influential and bring of positive social movements. People like Martin Luther King Jr. who spread his idea of loving and passiveness, similar to Gandhi they both express and told to the world what they honestly thought would be the best and others followed creating truly momentous times in our history which make the world a better place to live.Imagine if they kept quiet from fear of judgment, what kind of world would we be living in now?
New ideas all ways start off as an eccentric idea from a person who isn't quite accepted, but usually those are the ideas that turn out to make the biggest changes. If no one ever expressed their crazy ideas or thoughts then we would never move forward as a culture or a people. Things shouldn't always be kept quiet because when they are, what might we be losing out on?</p>