Please grade my SAT essay! :)

<p>Prompt: Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>

<p>This was written under test conditions so please don't rip it apart haha. </p>

<pre><code>Humankind does not generally succeed and make the most beneficial decisions when restrained by force and pressure. In several cases such as the transition from small groups of nomads to villages of settlers, it is clear that people generally tend to accomplish more when they are allowed to work within their own parameters. However, people are usually restrained by outside forces that they cannot control such as deadlines. Students are not able to propose to postpone tests for months to prepare. It can therefore be concluded that although individuals are not always allowed to work in their own arrangements, people are most successful when they are not confined to these factors.

To begin, people are more creative when they are allowed to finish their own tasks in ways that appeal to them. Last year, my school's Publications teacher solely selected a theme that appealed to her personally. It was a sketch theme that, in my opinion, ruined the raw and flawless photography. Since the teacher was strict in character and like things to be done her way, yearbook students did not want to disagree with her plan. It turned out that a majority of the seniors that year did not like the sketch theme as well. If my fellow yearbook friends and I voiced our opinions and decided to choose our own theme, the yearbook could have been better for most of the student body. If one person chose to assume the role of a tyrant and order people around to do the same thing, the world would only be bland and colorless. All books would only have one consistent tone with the same plot repetitively.

In addition, one simply cannot reach perfection in a single try when he or she is under conditions that are not favorable. If James Watt was told by authority figures that he needed to design a working and safe steam engine in one day and only create one prototype, it could not have been done. His finished invention that was epochal beginning in the time of the Industrial Revolution would never have been existed in that time if he did not create multiple drafts and worked according to his will. This is also true with joint-stock companies. People invest their own money believing that these companies would invest their money in clever ways in order to reap financial gains. The steps to plan out strategies cannot be reached in a short amount of time, but must come with a series of steps for action.

Also, great works of literature also take time. Although editors might force writers to finish their works before deadlines, some influential works were written by authors in their own time and style. During the Renaissance period with crowds of people interested in literature and education, people wrote essays on topics such as politics and philosophy in their own time and design and were not shaped to finish their projects with certain limitations such as time and ideas. Radicals even published their works that conflicted with religious and political views. Democracy was even established by the voices of people that did not agree with how the government was ran and wanted to change institutions to fit their own way.

In essence, it is evident that people accomplish more tasks more creatively and successfully if they are left to their own devices. In a future society, it is important that people must work according to their own personal plans in order to create things that society takes for granted; technology, religion, and culture are changed by people that choose to do things in their own image and style.
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<p>6…!!! Holy smokes!</p>

<p>There aren’t a lot of grammatical/usage errors. Just remember that simple errors are a part of the essay grading and can be the difference between one score and another.</p>

<p>My thoughts…</p>

<p>1) The hook isn’t that interesting IMO. It’s just your thesis, but re-arranged.</p>

<p>2) “In several cases such as the transition from small groups of nomads to villages of settlers, it is clear that people generally tend to accomplish more when they are allowed to work within their own parameters.”</p>

<p>How does the transition from small groups of nomads to villages of settlers demonstrate that people accomplish more when they can do things their own way? </p>

<p>3) This is your thesis:</p>

<p>"It can therefore be concluded that although individuals are not always allowed to work in their own arrangements, people are most successful when they are not confined to these factors. "</p>

<p>“It can be concluded” sentences are weak IMO. You should say your thesis like it is a proven fact, and then support that fact with examples and commentary.</p>

<p>People are not always allowed to work in their own arrangements; However, people are most successful when they are not confined. </p>

<p>That’s how I would rearrange your thesis.</p>

<p>4) The end of paragraph 2 ends very awkwardly. You mention that if a tyrant limited creativity, then books would not have varied tones. Then you continue onto the 3rd paragraph. Try summing up your paragraph instead of ending with it open.</p>

<p>5) The mention of books being bland and colorless because of a tyrant’s oppression is somewhat aloof from the rest of paragraph. Try connecting the mentioning with the teacher example when you end the paragraph.</p>

<p>The teacher’s tyranny was the yearbook production’s bane, limiting creativity, and eventually lead to a suboptimal product. </p>

<p>I have to leave for a bit, so I’ll submit this post and edit it later.</p>

<p>I would score this essay 9-10/12.</p>