<p>hey</p>
<p>could somebody please read and evaluate and grade my essay (maybe some comments what I made wrong, etc) ?
it was the first time i wrote an sat essay and i had some issues with the time (you'll notice). I couldn't proofread and i made horrendous mistakes (english isn't my first language).</p>
<p>thank you very much for your help in advance</p>
<p>Assignment: (from Princeton Review's "How to Crack the SAT" - it's a sample essay topic)</p>
<p>History has shown us that liberty is not a guaranteed, natural possession. The great landmarks of liberty, such as the American Bill of Rights and the Emancipation Proclamation, were all gained only through the sacrifices of many visionaries and patriot. We should be ever mindful that freedom, if we are to preserve it, must be safeguarded with our lives. </p>
<p>-Adapted from Bernard L. Berzon. </p>
<p>"Do you believe that one should sacrifice life for liberty?" Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p><<Liberty is one of the virtues a citizen of a modern country cherishes most. Histroy is full of legends and anecdotes about men and women who subdued their lives for the sake of freedom for their compatriotes, relatives and fellows. But as literature proves, liberty is not only prevalent in politics and global issues but it takes place in dayly life.
In 21st-century novel, "The Kiterunner" by Khaled Housseine, Amir, the main character, wants to study creative writing in College. His father who happens to be a conservatice religious patrairch esteems studies in the Humanities as rather inferior and looks in a pejorative way at his son's interests.
However, he sacrifices his own opinion in order to make it possible for Amir to make a free choice and to take use of his right to study what he likes.</p>
<p>However, it's obvious that liberty and sacrifices for it have the most impact if the protagonists are influencive persons in politics or --as an example-- religious leaders.</p>
<p>Michail Gorbatscho, the last leader of the Sovjet Union, decided to open the borders of his countrty and consequently submits his country to its then arch-enemy, the United States. Gorbatscho didn't only sacrifice his prestigious position of a statesman --he had to retire after the Sovjet Union was splitten up into several autonomous countries-- but he also lost the admiration of many of his Russian fellows.
Despite these hindrances he decided to give liberty and his country a new chance: Nowadays, Russia is a modern, democratic country and can be considered as a role-model for other countries striving for democraty and --most important-- liberty. Most people are aware of the fact that Russia wouldn't be where it is now, were it not for Gorbatscho who sacrificed his position as a global leader for liberty.</p>
<p>Since many countries wouldn't be where they are now, were it not for people who sacrificed themself, I'm fervently advocating the opinion that one should sacrifice life for liberty.>></p>
<p>P.S. Even though it caused pain, I didn't correct any errors, so imagine a (sic) before each error.</p>