<p>Topic - Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general ?</p>
<p>Essay - </p>
<p>John F. Kennedy once said, ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. This statement implies we should not always depend on our government, specially for problems that are not of nationwide concern but the people should try to solve these problems together.</p>
<p>For example, some neighbourhoods have neighbourhood watch groups. These people look out for the safety of other people living in the neighbourhood. As a result, they are less dependant on police officers to take care of their safety.</p>
<p>Some neighborhoods even have volunteer cleaners who ensure the streets are clean and lack trash. By doing so, they do not have to be dependant on the government keeping their communities clean.</p>
<p>But this does not mean that the government can wash their hands and let the people handle the problems.</p>
<p>In situations like natural disasters and other major problems, the government should step in and aid recovery efforts.</p>
<p>Hurricane Sandy which hit the USA recently caused massive devastation. Issues like these cannot be fixed by the people of those communities alone. They do need government help and funds in order to rebuild their communities.</p>
<p>In conclusion, small issues which can be solved by people of those communities getting together and helping each other should not be left for the government to solve, they should be handling bigger problems that face the nation.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t give it any more than a 4. It can be even less, mostly 3.</p>
<p>You stated your main point that “we should not always depend on our government, specially for problems that are not of nationwide concern but the people should try to solve these problems together.” That’s fine.</p>
<p>It has “adequate” use of vocabulary and the sentence structures had a few changes(which is good). But, there is heavy wordiness like in “In conclusion, small issues which can be solved by people of those communities getting together and helping each other should not be left for the government to solve, they should be handling bigger problems that face the nation.”</p>
<p>Your examples were not developed insightfully. Its not the number of examples that matter; rather the way you develop the few examples in support to your thesis is important. You gave them one by one, but none were discussed in a good manner.</p>
<p>The conclusion was good, except the problem with its wordiness.</p>
<p>I understand why you spelt neighborhood that way. As of this moment, what I would suggest is expound more on your reasons and examples — ensure that they are concrete and strong. Rather than trying to lengthen the essay, work on the content first.</p>
<p>Your introduction works, the novelty works. The introduction is straightforward. But, you could still improve on it. Work on your wordings and how you express your introduction — I say that this part can be worked on — “but the people should try to solve these problems together”.</p>